Once upon a Pen Pal....

When I was 8, I used to watch a television show called "Big Blue Marble". It featured stories about children from all over the world, so that each of us in our little corner of the world could see that we weren't all that different from one another - despite our geographic locations, or cultural differences. At the end of each episode, this cartoon Earth man would come on and sing this little ditty: "Your pal may be living somewhere, maybe far - maybe near ..." (yes, I remember all the lyrics, I won't bore you with them here!) And all we had to do was drop a SASE in the mail, and we'd be matched up with the perfect person to be friends with, via the postal service. So, I did it.

I waited, and waited, and waited. Shortly after my 9th birthday - I got the postcard with my perfect penpal's information. She was a girl a year younger than me from Washington State. I couldn't wait. I wrote her a letter introducing myself - along with one of my school photos - and sent it off. She wrote back, including a photo of her as well - and this began the journey of our friendship.

We used to play games through our letters, like Hangman, or Tic-Tac-Toe; as we got older, it became trivia - and as we became teenagers, we talked about more normal girl things. Boys, dances, movies, music...we talked about it all. And we always exchanged our photos as each year went by. She went off to college - and we still kept in touch. I was working full time and on my own as well, though not in college - and at this time, we sort of ventured from letters to phone calls. It was easier to talk quicker and catch up in greater detail.

When I was 23, I got a call from her and I knew something was different. She called to tell me that she was getting married to her boyfriend of many years - and would I be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I was thrilled. I could not wait - aside from being so honored and touched that she would even consider me to be part of her bridal party - I just couldn't wait to meet her.

She met and my then boyfriend at the airport - and he recognized her before I did, actually! It was funny, though I knew her face, I had a mental image of how I thought she would appear and she was smaller than I had imagined! I'm only 5'1 and she was shorter than I was...but aside from the first few seconds of saying hello - it was like I'd known her forever. Well, because I had. There was a comfort and familiarity there that despite the fact we hadn't met eye to eye - we had been friends our whole lives.

Shortly after the wedding, her and her husband moved to Germany where he was stationed with the military. My then boyfriend and I had broken up - and my life was in disarray. She and I kept in touch through phone calls mainly - and I had been hoping to visit them in Germany. She was expecting her first child, and I had hoped to spend time with her before the baby was born. But then, I met my husband. And while life was still not normal, it was slowly shaping up. I moved, and hadn't had the opportunity to stop and write or call to catch up. About a year later, I got a letter at my parent's house that she had her first child, a daughter. I wrote back, apologizing for being gone for so long.... we got back in touch via letter. A few years later, she had her second child, a son.

At this point, they were still in Germany - and my husband and I were going through some very difficult times. Exceptionally difficult. I didn't stay in touch with her... I thought about her often, but didn't reach out. And when I got engaged - I should've called her and asked her to be in my wedding. I should have. But I didn't. I always kick myself over that, because it would've been wonderful to have her there. Sometimes you get so caught up in life that you don't stop and take time to reach out to those you should. It's a practice I try to keep...but I'm not always successful in my efforts.

I got a call when I was pregnant with my daughter - I was so surprised to hear her voice on the other line. She was pregnant with her third, a daughter - and was due the same day as I was!! We talked for hours - and apologized profusely for not inviting her to the wedding. She said she understood, but I know her feelings were bruised. Mine would've bee. At the end of the call, I got her house phone number and her email so that we could stay in better touch. And we have. It's been some time since we've spoken, but we email - and actually, I think I'm going to call her this evening.

I think of her often....and while I try so very hard to stay in touch and be a good friend, I'm not perfect and it doesn't always happen. But if she's reading this somehow...well, then she'll know that I have her in my heart always.

(This is the condensed version, but it gives you a general idea!)