Friday, December 15, 2006

"When I'm tired and feeling cold -- I hide in my music, forget the day....."

I've been fortunate to have good friends in my lifetime. But from the time I was 14 on, I was "best friends" with my friend Paul. He's probably the closest thing to a brother I've ever had. We'd talk on the phone for hours. We would drive around for hours, listening to music endlessly. Some of it would be these eclectic little artists that no one else knew much about; sometimes it would be bands like Boston, or the Cars....and sometimes it would be his own material. I have a really good ear for music, and sometimes he'd come up with something and bounce it off me to see what I thought. See, he's a musician - and was in a very popular local band at the time we met - and so music was something that we had in common. We actually met through a mutual friend - one of my girlfriends was in love with him. Obsessively. And she used to drag me along with her to go visit him at his work which was close to the mall. Plus, we'd see him at shows because of course we'd go to them. But as a result of being her friend and always being there - and not being obsessed with him - he and I hit it off. It turned out that we had tons in common with interests, and of course - there was the music. We were almost inseperable for many, many years. I'd give him advice about his girlfriends and career....He was there for me with my own heartbreaks in my relationships. I've always loved him and trusted him as I guess most sisters must love and trust their brother.

Our relationship has changed over the years. It started when he was engaged to a girl that thankfully he never married. She wasn't secure enough to accept me as his friend -and didn't want him to stay in touch with me. He didn't make the decision to do that though - I made it for him. I stopped calling, didn't return his calls - and eventually our friendship drifted. As his friend, the best thing I could do was to not pose a problem for him and who would have been his wife. Two years later I missed him terribly and called to see how he was. Funny how life is....they had broken up for good a few weeks earlier. They never married....and we could be friends again.

While we never got back to the routine of talking on the phone or hanging out again nearly to the extent that we used to - we've never lost touch since that point. He was at my wedding....and I hope to someday be at his. We call each other at least once a month and we try like crazy to make plans to have lunch together but life sometimes gets in the way. He's still in the music industry, and while he's playing in another band at the moment that's building momentum locally - he produced his own cd about 18 months ago that is excellent. I was so proud of him when I played it in my cd player. Check out his site: and if you listen to track 12 - well that has extra special meaning to me. Its an instrumental - and is a musical reminiscense of our days when nothing else mattered but how good the music was.....


chesneygirl said...


I have a similar relationship with a guy-friend. Kevin.
We met the year the summer I turned 16. He's been one of my best friends since.
We too were inseperable, so much so that when we would see mutual friends when we were NOT together, they would question if something was wrong.

We had an unspoken agreement....we did not stay in a relationship with a person that could not accept our relationship. We each ended up dumping a girlfiend/boyfriend over our relationship.

Thankfully, both of our spouses have welcomed our unique bond and relationship with open arms!

Peter N said...

Rebecca, I listened to a few tracks of the CD, and he's good! It's so nice to stay friends with people you knew you would never forget, and then it turns out that you didn't have to. I have a couple too! Take care. I enjoyed.

Glitter/Aleka said...

I have that CD..I LOVE IT!! : )