Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Emotions in motion....

I never cry. I think the last time I wept was when my daughter was born, and even then it wasn't a sobbing - just a little breaking in my voice and a few tears. I'm a very controlled person, and while I can be very animated and excited about things in a good way - when it comes to tears, whether they're happiness or sadness - I'm exceptionally guarded. I know, it's an issue I have of feeling vulnerable. I have lots of issues in that area, being guarded and trusting those around me enough so that I can feel vulnerable and not be so hardened at all times. It's one of my "broken" traits....and I'm working on it.

Well, today was a day that I almost couldn't contain myself. My son had his Christmas concert at school, and I have never in my life ever felt anything like I felt when I saw him walk into the audiotorium for the first time and get on stage. The pride I felt made me feel like my heart was going to burst! And for the first time in a long time....my eyes filled with tears that I couldn't contain. I laughed and said "How silly, I'm all choked up!". And while I didn't cry, that little boy and seeing him wave moved me to tears faster than anyone who's ever tried to make me cry.

He sang his heart out!! And my daughter S, who adores her brother - yelled out in the audience in that split second before they started singing "I miss my T...Hi T....". Everyone started cracking up, it was really funny.

When I have moments like these, I often think of parents who aren't there for their kids, or who don't revel and enjoy their children as they should. And I feel so sad for them. They just don't know what they're missing. There is nothing like seeing your child grow and re-living your life through them - and feeling the unbelievable sense of pride that comes with seeing that little life blossom.

6 comments:

Shayna said...

I remember all the school concerts, parades, dance recitals, Junior Varieties and believe me....I still feel the lump in my throat, swell with pride and can get teary eyed when remembering. These are the memories that last a lifetime:)And.....even nicer when captured on video to play for their children one day:)

EB said...

What a fantastic post! I am choked up just reading it!

It's amazing being a mom, isn't it?

martie said...

yes, yes! "the pride that comes with seeing that little life blossom"......and then grow all the way to adulthood and still feel that pride in them and their accomplishmenets and then starting all over again with grandchildren! Ahhhh, life is good!

bigwhitehat said...

Gee thanks. Billy Squier did some good stuff. So, why did you have to get that one stuck in my head?

bigwhitehat said...

BTW my children make me cry. Hell, would I be human if they didn't?

Peter N said...

Rebecca, such a great outpouring of the emotions of being a Mom! So great....thanks!