I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels...

Ah yes, it’s moving day once again in the office.  Seems like we go through this, oh – I don’t know -  every 9 months or so.

The upside to this move, is that our spaces will not be an open bullpen environment as it is now; we will have privacy walls and actual enclosed cubicles, which is a relatively good thing.

The downside, is that we are moving in to space with minimal windows (we have beautiful sunny windows where we are now) and it’s freezing.  When I tell you cold, I mean subzero freezing.  The building (which has been deemed “unfit “ by OSHA and is supposedly at some point being torn down and rebuilt, surely not to be inhabitated by us – but I digress…) has a heating/cooling system that is horribly ineffective.  And the area in which we’re moving to, was literally 60 degrees last week.  Fortunately, one of my friends in work and I will be sharing a space heater between our two areas.   Seriously, I wear a blanket around me sometimes as it is, my lips turn blue – my hands and knuckles turn blue.  It gets cold!  And while I often hear the cracks of “maybe you should get some body fat and then you won’t be so cold” – I assure you, that has nothing to do with it.   I’m fit, not scrawny – and it’s that flipping cold here in work.

So, as I forgot that it was moving day – I didn’t really dress appropriately for it.  So, I”ll be donning my rubber gloves and I wish I had an apron with me to keep my clothes protected from the disgustingly dirty, dusty – and (hold the gag reflex) buggy crap that will be flying around in the air as we do this.  Yes, I said buggy.  Truly, the amount of dead bugs I find just absolutely horrifies me.  I often cringe if I think about what might possibly fit into my little coffee cup’s plastic opening.  I would never, ever in a million years dream of drinking coffee from an open mug in this place.  (Eww.  I think I might have just thrown up in my mouth a little!!)

This is the United States Government I work for people.  Your tax dollars go towards just about everything but providing the government’s employees with clean and healthy workplaces.  I’m often jealous when I go into a commercial business’ ladies room.  Oh – and commercial offices, in general are more often than not – spectacular in comparison.  If you think you’ve got it bad where you work, imagine something about 100 times worse and there’s my work environment.  Feeling better now?   I’ve got to say that government workspaces are definitely the worst I have seen.

On that note, wish me luck as I break out the barrage of cleaning products that I’ve got stored  away for my own private stash – oh - and if anyone has a gas mask I can borrow, maybe a little Raid -- I’d be forever in your debt…!