Some days you miss them more than usual.....

Something about today made me think of my Auntie Saralee. I don't know what it is exactly that triggered it, because I think of her often. But somedays she's on my mind more than others.

We're coming upon the 21st anniversary of her death in the next couple of weeks. It's weird to think that she's been gone for more years than I actually knew her. I was only 15 when she died, and it was so very unexpected; she was so young.

She was my mom's older sister, and while she didn't live right near us - she was always around it seemed. She was a huge part of my life growing up; more so than I think she probably even knew. More so than I think I even knew at the time....because of course, I was only a child. My memories of her are sometimes so very clear, and then sometimes... I can't even remember what she looks like. I can hear her laugh in my head, and I remember the twinkle in her eyes when she smiled - and when she was mad. She was a very strong woman from what I remember, always standing by what she believed.

I don't think time has romanticized my memories of her.....I don't think she was very different from the way I remember her being. No one is perfect, we all have our flaws and quirks in our personalities....and of course, I only knew her as a child knowing her aunt. I didn't have the luxury of knowing her, woman to woman. But I loved that she always took the time to include me in as much of her plannings and vacations with my cousins as she could. She was always out and about doing things, involved in organizations -- and was just a kind person in general. I think that my Auntie Saralee had a larger impact on my life than anyone would've expected, and I hope that I take after her in some ways.

The day my aunt died, changed my family forever. I don't know if it's entirely true to say that she was the lynchpin in the family, but in retrospect - it sure feels that way.