Turtledoves on Crack & Pussycat Massages....

No, this was not a night of Girls Gone Wild....get your mind out of the gutter, boys!

It was more like a night of "Girls Behaving Badly", with all of the practical jokes that go on behind the scenes that we tend to play on each other. I has intended on including some funny pictures to go along with this post, but clearly - some people haven't shared their pictures just yet! (If you're reading this - you know who you are - hahahaha.)

First off, let me ask a question. Who buys "Funeral Pants"? Does one go to a store specifically on a mission to buy pants to wear only to funerals? And if so - can you not wear them anywear else - say, for dinner some night? That's one for a Seinfeld episode! Imagine the laughter that erupted when one of the girls was talking about how she bought a pair of funeral pants and ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT wear them anywhere else. Ever. Oh yeah, tell that to a bunch of drunk girls...or girls on their way to getting drunk!

Ever read the book "How to Massage a Cat"? If you haven't - it's a must read. Especially aloud, with a group of friends who have the same sick distorted sense of humor that you do. And keep in mind when reading it -- two of my friends ACTUALLY DID IT. Yup, after a few drinks one night - they grabbed one of my girlfriends unsuspecting cats and followed it step, by step.....oh yeah - you gotta read this. And if you like that -- then you'll love, love love "Bitter with Baggage". And if you enjoy those two books, well then you'll fit right in at an evening with us!

Ahhh, the secret tricks...the gags....the surprises. The ornament swap was hysterical. First off - one of the girls in our group hates anything to do with shoes...minature shoes and especially ornaments of shoes. YUP. It was strategically planned that this one girl would HAVE to pick the ornament that was especially picked with her in mind. The dreaded shoe ornament...... but wait - this girl had her own trick up her sleeve and bought these ornaments that were so, well, odd looking - only I saw redeeming value in them I think! hahahaha. (Damn, I wish I had those pictures, they tell the story far better than I ever could....) They're of two turtle doves, we think! They're fuzzy, and look like they could be puppies...or fish? Or turtle doves on crack!

The gift swap was....priceless. I have to say that my gift was probably the only one that the room got real quiet and still where you could almost hear everyone thinking "is this a joke" and it wasn't. Imagine my reaction when I looked to my friends who I assumed were the "pranksters" and saw the look of sheer horror on their face when they realized it wasn't a joke. hahahaa. Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit - it wasn't sheer horror but it was clear the gift wasn't a gag from them. Yup... my own fault though. I didnt' want to give any hints as to what to get me, because I thought I'm a relatively easy person to buy for - and I love when people buy things that they think I would like. I have to admit though....for a split second when I opened it, I thought "hmmmm. What about this gift jumped out and screamed "that's Rebecca!!". It was very difficult to hide my surprise, because my laughter I think gave me away... but I hope I did a good job covering it because I certainly would not want to hurt my friend's feelings. It's just funny sometimes...you think that you're an easy mark on your likes and dislikes. Ahhh, well. If nothing else, the laughter and enjoyment that I got after the fact about it was well worth it. And besides, it will now become an joke that some of us will get to enjoy for years to come.

And then no potluck can be complete without ....the lawn junking. Which we graciously did to our hostess.

I'm sorry there aren't any pictures to go along with the story to bring it to life....I hope you didn't feel like you were on the outside of an inside joke, or that the story didn't live up to the hype.

But then again, I've never really been quite good at telling stories or jokes.
I usually laugh so hard as I'm telling them - I never do end up getting it out quite right.