Makes my skin a little thicker.....

I'm a strong person. I know this about myself.

I've always used the tag line "Never let 'em see you sweat". The more someone tries to stick it to you - the more you smile and keep on going. After all, success is the best revenge.

But I do choose my battles carefully.

I wear rose colored glasses because I enjoy seeing the positive in situations, as opposed on focusing on the negative. Even in times when the cards are stacked against me, or when I'm in a situation that isn't necessarily the greatest. I don't know how to be any other way, it's just who I am. There have been times in my life when I have really been backed into a corner, feeling like I was fighting for my life. I know that sounds dramatic, and I don't mean it to be so...but when you have people that attack your character, your integrity....your mere existance - it's difficult to portray that type of feeling in any other way.

And the more I show that no matter how hard they try to break me down, it doesn't work....the more it drives them crazy. And I find satisfaction in that.

I know that their issues aren't mine....I know that it's their own insecurities and esteem issues that drive them to be angry and hurtful. I know that they're deflecting things that maybe their uncomfortable with about themselves onto me. I know that it isn't me personally that they have issues with - but more so what I represent.

And while I know these things, and I fight the fight - it doesn't make it hurt any less.

I don't usually buy "mainstream" artists when I'm purchasing CDs. I prefer the eclectic, indie artist that no one has ever heard of - or who is up and coming. But as I was browsing Newbury Comics last week, I bought Christina Aguilera's "Stripped" CD. I've always thought she was an amazing talent - someone who will be around for years after Britney, Mandy, and all those other pop tarts disappear. I've seen her "Behind The Music" special, and have always just really liked her in general. I always love the underdog (maybe because I can identify?), but really have always felt good about seeing this little girl find her way in the world of music. I never really passed judgement on her outwardly erotic appearance, because I think she is someone who is going to be around for a long time - and will continually evolve and grow. And she was obviously doing it in a very "you don't like me, don't look" manner. I can appreciate that persona.

I wish I bought this cd far sooner than I had. To any of you who have felt that maybe you were being held down.....wrongly persecuted for just being you....or just had someone make you feel badly about yourself. This is a collection of music that you need to listen to.

So, I'm stealing Miss Christina's words.
And this is a public letter to those of you out there who have mistreated me for your own selfish reasons.

You know who you are....

I've waited a long time for this
It feels right now
Allow me to introduce myself
I want you to come a little closer
I'd like you to get to know me a little bit better
Meet the real me

Sorry you can't define me
Sorry I break the mold
Sorry that I speak my mind
Sorry don't do what I'm told
Sorry if I don't fake it
Sorry I come too real
I will never hide what I really feel
Huh, so here it is
No hype, no gloss, no pretense
Just me
Stripped

Sorry if I ain't perfect
Sorry I don't give a -what-
Sorry I ain't a diva
Sorry just know what I want
Sorry I'm not a virgin
Sorry I'm not a slut
I won't let you break me
Think what you want
To all my dreamers out there - I'm with you
All my underdogs, ha - I feel you
Lift your head high and stay strong
Keep pushin' on