Dear Mr. Ignorant Mercedes Driver,
Thank you ever so much for boxing me into my parking spot this morning. As you saw me try to squeeze between our cars to get to my driver door, once you realized that I couldn't and had to walk behind your car to get into mine - one would think that might be a tip off to back your car up. Especially since you had your door open and your leg sticking out so that I had to walk around you into oncoming traffic, that would've been the least you could do.
Oh no though; you thought it best to leave your vehicle - keeping me so tightly boxed in my parking spot that I couldn't move out of it. Yes, I know that it would've killed you to move into the parking space one ahead of me because then you wouldn't have been directly in front of Starbucks; you felt it far more important to be in half a parking space so that you could run in and get what I am convinced was probably a caramel mocchiato frappucino or something equally fou fou.
Yes, you little girly man are the epitome of what I've learned to expect from those who drive these cars; you continue to carry the torch for every person who thinks that it's not just a car - it's an entitlement. I hope to God I see you again tomorrow... I won't be quite so nice as to just look at you in amazement.
I've got one word for you buddy....and it's from a Denis Leary song.