Sunday, January 03, 2010

Gray skies are gonna clear up -- Put on a happy face...

So here's a thought that made my whole day: pitchers and catchers report in 46 days.

Today's the last day of Christmas Break for the kiddies. They're begrudgingly getting ready to get bathed and ready for bed to get back into the routine of every day life that starts up again tomorrow. Truthfully, I'm a little sad to see it end myself; only because it can be such a struggle in the morning sometimes.

I haven't mentioned my Mother's diagnosis much since the appointment. My father is flying back tomorrow while my mother will be staying with me while arranging for chemo treatment with Dana Farber. Hopefully they'll be able to shrink her sites enough to change her Stage and potentially either make it something she can manage or remove. But that's thinking a bit ahead, truthfully. At this point the main objective is just to stunt the growth. If they shrink -- well, that's gravy! If it works and the growths stunt or shrink -- then her prognosis will be far better. It's just going to take a cycle to determine if it's chemo resistant or not. It's seemingly on her organs rather than inside of them -- which is a small window of opportunity that she has in stopping it. In Florida, they told her it was inside her organs -- and that there was no hope. Which, we know now isn't true. The difficult part is -- how do you force a person to fight, or to choose life??? Sounds crazy, but truly -- she's not convinced she wants to live. Can you imagine? She's not even sick! No symptoms, just a little muscle back pain -- and she's given up on life. Truthfully, it's just the inconvenience of chemo that she doesn't want -- which is just heartbreaking when there are so many people who would give everything they own for a chance to have a second "window of opportunity" in treatment. It's frustrating, irritating and annoying all at once -- but at some point, I have to say "hey -- it's not my life." To me, personally -- dying is pretty flipping inconvenient and uncomfortable too - but eh, what do I know? God knows I have a ton to live for and couldn't imagine not having the intestinal fortitude to fight the good fight. But clearly, we all are different.... So, that's the latest on that - basically.

I love this time of night in the winter. It's early....but so dark. The fire place is going, candles are lit - the lights are still on from Christmas (no, not the tree -- the house lights); I can still smell my Sunday dinner even though we finished hours ago -- and everything is just so cozy and warm. I've got a nice glass of wine in my hands....the kids are playing Wii before hitting the bath and for now -- at this moment -- life is good.

I like it this way.

1 comment:

James Franklin said...

Cheers for the info. It was a good read.
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