STRUBAR.
Stressed beyond all recognition.
Well, I'm not that bad... but I'm pretty stressed.
Why?
Let's see. These aren't in any particular order of significance, just listing them off.
1. The build out of the store being over budget. There's a little thing called "stocking it up" that's a huge issue and weighing heavily on my mind. Our minds, I should say. I'm not the money person in this gig, G is. But I am cognizant of it all which is just as important. While I don't pay the bills and balance the budget, I am aware of the cost and spending. I think that's the most difficult thing I wrestled with in regards to leaving my job. It was a necessary evil -- I just couldn't do it all in one place, at one time.
Building a store from the ground up sure costs less than buying existing, but the true cost is clearly an intangible when you have construction involved. And that my friends, is a very scary thing.
2. My mom and her Cancer diagnosis (or lack thereof?). Her not being in MA and my trying to coordinate a second opinon for her courtesy of a friend of mine who works in Oncology in MGH -- and is being exceptionally generous in assisting and expediting an appointment for her; and of course my hoping that my mother doesn't change her mind about coming up for this much needed re-evaluation. Of course, also wondering if her PT that is scheduled for next week will come out okay. Who knows if the poision they're feeding her is stalling the poison growing inside....
3. Then there's the general feeling of abandoning my family financially that I'm struggling with. I haven't given leaving my job a second thought -- I've been far too busy working and I love love love my new commute. (Hello, 11 minutes!) But not having medical insurance yet is weighing heavily on my mind, as well as hoping we make the scheduled opening date as anticipated because we need to open the doors! Every day the doors are closed are days we're losing money. I am getting the kids covered Tuesday and G and I can wait on coverage for another month when we can afford to do the whole family plan - but the guilt I feel about not providing stability and security is terrible. I mean, my salary pretty much was for the benefits and the child care; but that's a huge steady. And I feel like I'm just not pulling my weight. I know that I truly am, but it's still heavy on my mind.
4. Then of course there's the Red Sox. Truly, I'm praying they're at least getting a split this series with NY because I just don't see our pitching pulling us out of this otherwise. I personally think Tampa has our number this season, and I don't know that we have the pitching endurance to carry us through. Oh, and for the record - I could care less about the Ortiz "revelation". Truly, after Manny - the shock and awe factor is gone in my mind regarding anyone else. Just my humble opinion. It's disappointing; especially for young kids who look up to him. But to me, it doesn't tarnish my opinion of him any as a player. At least not at this juncture.
But, despite it all - the sun is still shining or at least I've got a good haze going on. Nothing in life is easy - and we knew it would be a difficult 6 weeks or so prior to opening.
I'm just wishing it was a little less stressful.
1 comment:
My thoughts on the whole Papi thing: I would be more stunned to hear a player from that era was guaranteed clean than no--regardless of whether someone tested positive by intentional use or accidental. What happened 6 years ago is pretty much meaningless today. I would have way more of a reaction if he tested positive in 2009.
Post a Comment