In my daughter's eyes...

Some people have a gift for art.
A knack for creativity.
Princess Petunia -- she has it.
Now while tonight's events aren't artistically driven - they are pretty darn well thought out and creative for a 7 year old.

She announced tonight that she has come up with a week's worth of activities for us, and it started this evening with "Glow in the Dark Dance Party". She found all these toys that light up and glow - right down to sneakers that glow that she can use as tamborines - and we danced to the latest hits on Kiss 108. She made a snack mix for us all - and brought us appropriate drinks should we get thirsty. Cute, right?

(Let's back up a bit. Before she announced what the event was, she changed her outfit - put on a black glove with cut off fingers, and had me curl her hair - but ONLY specific pieces. She then put on her most favorite hat and then said she "felt like a pretty girl". I'm so loving my tomboy turning girly girl. Back to the story....)

Tomorrow night is Game Night. Pictionary is on tap for apres dinner.

The following is Pajama Movie Night - complete with bowls of ice cream.

And I don't know what the following night is but I'm sure she's got it covered.

So I asked Miss Petunia what made her decide to come up with this fun little week long event and she said "I just wanted quality family time". Did I want to bite her cheeks right there and then?? Yes I did. Loved the answer. Loved it! I never in a million years would've expected her to say that.

Not that we don't try to instill that into the kids, but because -well, they typically don't regurgitate our words so much at this stage any more.

I can't wait for tomorrow.

Teach your children well....

"Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.”
- Alvin Price

"Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.”
-Robert A. Heinlein

“If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.”
- Haim Ginott

"The guys who fear becoming fathers don’t understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent.”
- Frank Pittman

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back. ~William D. Tammeus

In bringing up children, spend on them half as much money and twice as much time. ~Author Unknown

"Let your eyes light up when your children are around. Laugh more. Tell them how empty and quiet it is when they’re not there. Enjoy the things they bring to your life. Attend their activities, not as if they were compulsory for parents, but throw yourself into their lives."

--Valerie Bell

Thoughts for Today....

1. Buffalo is delicious. I've never had it before, and I sell it. So, I try to cook with what I sell because if I love it- it makes it that much easier for me to convince someone else to try it. I sell game meat that is free range and organic from a very reputable company - and I brought it in because so many of my customers are chefs and mention that they make game meals; or they are just customers who have randomly mentioned that they eat game meat - and so I thought it would be a good fit. Turns out that it is, it sells very well. But I hadn't personally tried it all, and tonight I did. I grilled the steaks with sea salt, black pepper & garlic, drizzled with truffle balsamic reduction paired with a simple salad. It smelled fantastic but what surprised me the most was that it is reminiscent of lamb. I knew it would be gamey, and while I don't know what I was expecting, but I wasn't expecting that exactly.



2. While I know it's not exactly panic time....the Sox desperately need a win. If for nothing else but a change in psyche for them. And it's far too soon in the season to be so frustrated while watching them. While I know Jason is our backup catcher, truthfully Saltalamacchia doesn't look all that comfortable behind the plate - probably all the more reason why he needs to be there. At the same time, I felt so much better seeing Jason come in for last night's game and catching tonight as well. Now if Dice K doesn't screw it up, maybe we can get a win in the column.


3. No news on the house front... which is frustrating. We have an open house this weekend and someone requested information this week that one typically doesn't request unless they're contemplating putting an offer in. Trying not to care.....



4. Patience -- is it always a virtue? I try daily to keep my cool and patience when my kids push buttons; I try to remind myself that it is their job to test their boundaries with us on a regular basis. But sometimes I lose my temper and I feel so disappointed. It happens, and that's part of being a parent; but I hate bringing it to their level and yelling...really yelling. I'm the parent, right!? I shouldn't have to get that way! At the same time, sometimes it puts it all in perspective for them when I really raise my voice and get LOUD. I explained to my Princess Petunia (who was the culprit this evening) that no matter how much she meltsdown, or how angry she gets - that her parents are always her safe place and love her no matter what. And while it makes me feel good that she knows that, (and the hug after all the arguing solidifies that confidence) and my lack of patience was something she needed at that moment to put things in perspective - I still wish I didn't have to do that.

Parenting is a tough, tough job. And it's one that helps us continue to grow as adults because we're always learning from the experience. These little people are looking to us to show them what will be expected from them in life -- and the reward of them being happy, grounded and successful on a personal level -- is worth more than anything else in the world. If losing my patience on occasion is going to help them be good people in life, then I will gladly do it, many times a day if need be.

Lyrically speaking, of course....

(This is my opinion in part of why teenagers shouldn't be involved in social media. We all knew the "couple" who beat each other up in school - but at least back then, they could go home and cool off - break up with each other, avoid one another. There is no escape today...constant texting, IM'ng, Facebook....it's never ending. Children are too young to be immersed in constant connectivity.)

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength....

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire...

It's your birthday....Happy Birthday....

Six years ago today, Princess Petunia arrived.

And it was literally 6 years - today. Meaning, it was a Monday that she was born.

I'd been in labor all day the day previous; contractions were 7 minutes apart consistently - but nothing incredibly uncomfortable. I spent the day at a girlfriends' house for a bbq/potluck, and stayed off my feet most of the day.

Around 2am I woke up, because I had a dream that I was giving birth. Those contractions were now back labor and much more intense; still 7 minutes apart, but definitely more substantial. I actually drove myself to the hospital at 3:30am, because our son was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him up so I told G I'd call. I thought for sure since I was 5 weeks early, they'd keep my contractions at bay.

By 5:45, they were 2 minutes apart and my doctor said "How quickly can G get here, because we're taking her now". Now?!?! Now. I'd had complications that required me to have a C section and it could have been rather traumatic had nature taken it's course and natural style birthing took place, so when I tell you my doctor didn't wait - I'm not kidding. They were already under way in trying to get to her by the time G arrived in the operating room in scrubs.

She was born at 9:04 a.m., and I was out of the operating room by 11. Being a preemie, she was decent size and initally they thought she might need to go to neonatal; but the neonatologist initially told me no, she was 5lb 7 oz and well within normal weight. But due to the Csection, they changed their mind because she had fluid in her lungs - so off to neonatal she went. I got to see her afterwards, but didn't get to hold her in my arms until after 9pm that night when she was able to come out and come in my room.

She's had a twinkle in her eye since the day she was born....it's still there, and she's full of sugar and spice -- and a whole lot of sass. She's fiesty and spunky...but sensitive and thoughtful. She's got an incredible amount of wittiness for someone so young, and loves to laugh.

(that's her on the left!)

Happy Birthday, Princess Petunia.

I always have been, and always will be "Overjoyed" with you.

God bless the beasts and the children....

Yet another missing child case that absolutely disturbs me.
This time, Kyron Horman.

Mind you, there is no proof that his step mother was involved - but unfortunately, there's no evidence to prove otherwise.

What I don't understand, is how one person can be so hurtful to another - much less a young, and incredibly innocent child. And why? What purpose does it serve?

The horror of the atrocities played upon the young and small who can't defend themselves - is appalling; even worse, at the hands of those whom they would naturally trust - their very parents or guardians.

And they unfortunately seem to be happening more and more these days....

Bork, Bork, Bork!

I wish I'd gone to culinary school.
Had I known that there was such a thing when I was a child - I might have pursued it. At the same time, I didn't really know how much I love to cook, until I was a quasi adult. When I moved out, I loved cooking. I wasn't really "allowed" in the kitchen as a child; sure, I was able to lick the bowl when making brownies or cake with my Mom, but actually having the freedom to cook in the kitchen alone was not a liberty given to me.

I remember my first culinary experience; I tried to make my mother breakfast in bed for either her birthday or mother's day -- and I fried some eggs. I was young - maybe 8, and unfortunately, the eggs were rotten. The whole house stunk from the smell; not my fault of course, but seriously -- after that effort I was completely forbidden from using the stove. I don't recall us ever having eggs go bad after that either, interestingly enough.

Anyway, cooking is something that definitely became a fascination of mine after the age of 18. And while I may not be an Iron Chef -- I certainly love to come up with my own creations and play with different recipe ideas.

This weekend, I made home made clam chowder that rocked - as well as spiral ham (that doesn't take much effort, outside of the glazes I make on my own);I also made a pretty yummy pasta tossed with chicken sausage, fresh herbs and lemon. and truly - there are few things I do that make me as happy as cooking for my family or friends.

Cooking and eating is purely social for me; if I lived alone, my life would be filled with Rice Krispies. But fortunately, I have a life full of people to cook for -- and if I had the time to attend Johnson and Wales at this juncture in my life, trust me when I tell you - I would.

Maybe far away...or maybe real near by....

So, it's a dreary Saturday morning - and maybe my plans of taking the kiddies Strawberry picking today might have to wait for another Saturday. We're holding out hope though. Right now though, we're watching one of my very favorite movies from my childhood "Annie". She has the DVD, but never really got it - but now that she's soon to be 6 -- she's loving it. (And I am so loving Carol Burnett in this... she was amazing.) What thirty something girl didn't grow up wanting to be "Annie" in the musical? I know I did. I even auditioned once....but, clearly did not get the job. Could be because holding a tune doesn't compare to true singing; but when you're a child, you're convinced you sound amazing.

Speaking of the Princess Petunia, she's got her first loose tooth hanging by a thread! Ready to meet the Tooth Fairy at any moment....

Yesterday, I got a new refrigerator. Our old one (truly not that old, I think we bought it 5 years ago?) leaked freon everywhere in my kitchen and we lost all of our food in the fridge and freezer. You just don't know how much money you have in your kitchen until you have to replace it all. Anyway, it's a beautiful French door one with the bottom freezer and I am just loving it.

And it shines....like the top of the Chrysler Building.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine....

Today, my son had me in tears - but in the best possible way.

It was his final school concert, and was patriotic themed given the Memorial Day weekend. I'll be honest, since 9/11 - Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" gets me all teary eyed anyway; but to hear a group of children singing it, well....it got the water works going a bit.

Then came "We are the World". Again, to hear little kids singing so proudly "we are the children, we are the ones who make a brighter day so lets start giving" literally just had me smiling with my eyes all watery.

And finally, they ended with "Peace Begins with Me" and I was just mush.
Fugheddaboutit.

There's nothing like seeing children, so innocent and pure -- singing songs about hope and change; and then we as adults sit back, and see hope and change in them. Maybe they will be the generation to take heed to the lyrics they sang today.

So, in addition to the pride I felt in seeing my son on his performance day -- I felt a surge of hope for our future. Because maybe, just maybe -- it will be my son, who some how changes the world.

Even if it's only his small corner of it.

Teach your children well.....

Last night, our local Fox news channel did an expose on whether children are being de-sensitized to overtly mature media at either the checkout stands in the local markets, in music videos or on the internet.

As most of you who follow my blogging already know - I've addressed those very subjects as recently as last week regarding music -- and last October regarding the checkout counter at the supermarket. I've also made it quite clear that I don't feel teenagers belong on any social networking sites. (Feel free to seach my blog on said topics and you'll see my arguements much clearer on each subject.)

Here's the only gripe I have with the piece that was done: while the parents who complained had every right to do so -- they were quick to place blame on the outlets upon which these items are found; yet they did not discuss their own efforts to prevent the access from taking place.

Mentioning how the internet has "roulette chat" rooms where children accidentally stumbled upon an adult site while researching homework was one issue that surprised me. Not that the sites are there -- but where are the filters placed upon the home computer so that these "accidents" can't happen?

Listen, I can't control how supermarkets position the more mature magazines or how musicians write their songs. I'm not trying to keep my children in a bubble, however I am trying to keep their innocence in mature subjects for as long as I can. My children are 9 and 6 -- this should not be an unrealistic goal. And while I can not control what they do outside of my own home as they get older and are able to venture alone to their friend's homes -- I absolutely can control what goes in my home.

There are firewalls that can be placed upon a computer that prevent access to any site that is even remotely inappropriate. The one I use is so strict - that just about everything is locked down. If they even attempt to go to a site - even accidentally - that is inappropriate, the site is blocked. My children then ask me about the site they want to go on. I review it - and then if I choose to allow it, I can unblock for increments of time so that it's not a blanket permission access. Best of all -- it's a free utility. It costed me nothing but my time and effort.

I've never felt that my children should be allowed to go on the internet for social aspects; but with WebKinz and third grade requirements -- they're on it more than I'd have preferred -- so I made absolutely sure that they can't go where I don't want them to. Curiousity is perfectly healthy and normal as well, but that doesn't mean I have to condone it by feigning ignorance and leaving my computer vulnerable to access, and my children exposed.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm banging the lazy parenting drum. If you don't want your child to be exposed to certain things -- block them. There are parental blocks on cable and that includes music videos; block the age group you feel is appropriate leveling. Sure, some things you might allow might be blocked too - but you can unlock by individual choice at the appropriate time. Same goes for the internet; don't complain about what's out there -- lock the whole thing down and you won't have that issue about them seeing anything inappropriate.

We have choices to make as parents of people who want to grow up and be happy, healthy and productive in society. Make the choice to be an involved parent - maybe even strict by today's standards -- and I'm sure your children will thank you for it in the long run.