Monday, November 21, 2005

Before I was a "mom"...

I was talking with my son Saturday night as I was tucking him into bed, and we had a serious talk. We do alot of serious talking at bedtime; it seems that's when we both tend to get pensive and have these intimate "Mother & Son" conversations. It started this time, because when I hugged him I said "you know, I love you and your sister so much - words can't describe it. It's like my heart is outside of my chest and it's sooooo big that I can't even see the sides of it to wrap my arms around it. That's how much I love you. Does that make sense?" And he says "yes, it means it's the biggest love in the world". Then he said, "When I have kids, I don't want you to be their Grandma, I want you to only be my Mom." And I laughed, and said "well, I have to be their Grandma, wouldn't I be a great Grandma?" to which he replied, "yes, but if you're their Grandma, that would mean that you would be old...and that means you'll be gone someday. I don't want you to ever be gone - and I want you to always be young like this and just be my Mom". I didn't even know what to say....My son is what most would say is an "old soul". He's kind, sensitive and exceptionally in tune with those around him. I'm so very much looking forward to seeing how my daughter is, because she reminds me alot of how he was as a baby. Maybe she won't be similar....maybe she will be. But I'm truly looking forward to finding out, and cherishing her thoughts and special "Mommy & Me" moments as I do with my son.

This is something I received over email last night, and thought it was fitting for today's post. Especially at the end.
You may have already seen it.....Enjoy.
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Before I was a Mom, I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing. I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom I slept as late as I wanted And never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday. Before I was a Mom, I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom, I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,I had never been pooped on... Spit up on...Chewed on...
Peed on... Or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom,I had complete control of myself:
my thoughts, my body, and my mind.

Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew something so small could affect my life so much.I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom,I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every ten minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth... The joy... The love...
The heartache...The wonderfulment...
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.




14 comments:

Laura said...

You've done it again.

Beautiful

ramblin' girl said...

just wow.
thanks for sharing that!

McSwain said...

There are tears in my eyes from your conversation with your boy. Aren't those the sweetest moments! What a wonderful, loving mom you are.

Jerry said...

Rebecca...I have one of each...daughter and son...we are talking oil and water here...one loved school (daughter) one hated it (son) and it goes on and on..the differences...but they do have something in common they both love their Dad and each other very much. I love you're son's take on the grandma thing...btw..."old soul" indeed:::smile:::

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

Rebecca - you always make me speechless. One of these days Starbucks is in order.

Laurie said...

Oh yeah... I know. (sniff!)

My son (6yr) and I do the same thing; when I tuck him into bed at night, we tend to have talks like that. I love it.. :-)

They are sooo precious.

Lori said...

Bedtime is a wonderful place for talks. Enjoy that special time with your son.

I've read the mother verse before and it is so true. If you never want to worry, don't have children...but at the same time, it is the most profound, intense and all-consuming love a woman can feel. I know that there is absolutely none other like it.

JAX said...

Awww, thanks for sharing that precious moment between you and your son. That was really sweet. How old is he again?

steelcowboy said...

Wow. Just wow.

chesneygirl said...

Awwww...that is sooo sweet!!! It almost brought tears to my eyes! :)

I can't wait until my son starts talking! (he's 16 months)

Rebecca said...

My son is 4, and he never ceases to amaze me with the things that he says. Not just on this level, but in all levels...just the way he describes things sometimes, I look at him and think "how old are you?!?!!?" I'm glad you all enjoy my sharing of these moments. And many of you, can identify with these moments yourself as you're moms and dads. :)

Chesney Girl - my daughter is 16 mos and isn't really talking much at this point either. A few words here and there. My son was talking almost full sentences by 18 months. It's funny how each child develops differently.

Glitter: Any time! :) We totally need a Starbucks visit. My schedule during the weekdays is far more flexible, let me know what your schedule is like! Maybe Friday??? Are you working?

GlitterGlamGirl05 said...

Rebecca - I'm free on Friday! : ) No work for me! If you want, email me : )

clew said...

I've been very reflective and mushy about my Mammahood lately, so this choked me up, naturally.

:) Gotta love it! *hugs!*

Bainwen Gilrana said...

Your boy sounds like a complete sweetheart. What an adorable thing for him to say!