I was talking with my son Saturday night as I was tucking him into bed, and we had a serious talk. We do alot of serious talking at bedtime; it seems that's when we both tend to get pensive and have these intimate "Mother & Son" conversations. It started this time, because when I hugged him I said "you know, I love you and your sister so much - words can't describe it. It's like my heart is outside of my chest and it's sooooo big that I can't even see the sides of it to wrap my arms around it. That's how much I love you. Does that make sense?" And he says "yes, it means it's the biggest love in the world". Then he said, "When I have kids, I don't want you to be their Grandma, I want you to only be my Mom." And I laughed, and said "well, I have to be their Grandma, wouldn't I be a great Grandma?" to which he replied, "yes, but if you're their Grandma, that would mean that you would be old...and that means you'll be gone someday. I don't want you to ever be gone - and I want you to always be young like this and just be my Mom". I didn't even know what to say....My son is what most would say is an "old soul". He's kind, sensitive and exceptionally in tune with those around him. I'm so very much looking forward to seeing how my daughter is, because she reminds me alot of how he was as a baby. Maybe she won't be similar....maybe she will be. But I'm truly looking forward to finding out, and cherishing her thoughts and special "Mommy & Me" moments as I do with my son.
This is something I received over email last night, and thought it was fitting for today's post. Especially at the end.
You may have already seen it.....Enjoy.
Before I was a Mom, I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing. I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a Mom I slept as late as I wanted And never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday. Before I was a Mom, I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.
Before I was a Mom, I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom,I had never been pooped on... Spit up on...Chewed on...
Peed on... Or pinched by tiny fingers.
Before I was a Mom,I had complete control of myself:
my thoughts, my body, and my mind.
Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom,I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew something so small could affect my life so much.I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom,I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every ten minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth... The joy... The love...
The heartache...The wonderfulment...
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.