Thursday, November 08, 2012

I miss them, and they're not even gone....

I'll tell you, this being a Mom business is not easy.

My son, now 11 (really, 11 1/2 if we're being technical) is growing up so quickly.  He's just so "cool".  He still holds my hand when we're walking which is still fun for me, and he's immature in many ways, don't get me wrong; but he's just so grown up in the respect that I'm slowly no longer staying the sun in his sky.

The days of running out to see me when he hears me come home...gone.  There's no real lilt in his voice when I call his name and he's more of a casual "oh, hi" kind of tone.  I miss the days of chocolate chip kisses and big hugs and smiles when I walk in a room.  The infectious giggle when I said something silly...

While he still loves to hang out with me, he sulks and mopes at times now - which he never used to do.  I sometimes feel the need to remind him that he's 11 not 17 and that he can't have all the freedoms that he would like.  Besides, responsibility has to show a bit more before I can even think about allowing him certain freedoms he might enjoy.

Tonight after he ate dinner he went upstairs to his room to watch his IPad and I grabbed him and asked for a hug, which of course he obliged - but when I told him I missed him, he laughed.  He said "I'm right here.." and I told him that he doesn't see how he's growing up because he's in it - but that I miss him being happy to see me and the smile in his voice when he realized I was home..

It's wonderful and sad and bittersweet all rolled up into one.

I think I'm going to have a tougher time with my little ones growing up than I had thought I would....

No comments: