What a girl wants....

It's funny how you often buy for others things that you might really want for yourself.   I hold back so much on things for me.

For example, I went and got two people on my list gifts from Coach.  You think I got myself one?  No.  And while I do have a spectacular knockoff -- I really, really would like to get myself a real one.  I keep kicking myself for giving away the one I had a few years back.  (seriously, whatever was I thinking???)  And it's not as if I can't afford to get myself a Coach bag…there are just so many other things that I would do with the money I think.  I find it hard to rationalize spending so much on a pocketbook -- even if I am going to have it for years.   I think it's the "Mom" in me shining through.  I mean, when I think of how much money I spend on other things -- but seriously, a bottle of perfume costs half of what a bag at the outlet costs -- and I don't bat an eye at that.  So, why do I procrastinate? 

And now that I think of it, it's not really the "Mom" in me that shines through - it's just that I don't like to spend money on myself for extravagant things.  I remember when I was younger - I'd know exactly what I wanted to buy myself when it was time to go shopping.  And when the time came, and my Mom would take me to go clothes shopping for school, and I'd find myself wandering aimlessly trying to find what I wanted; and then I'd come home --with nothing.  Well, unless you count the headache I gave myself.  It's almost as if I put too much pressure on myself to make the "right" decision.

Same thing with those silly shoes that I have yet to order for myself.  Sometimes I wish I could be more freespirited about spending on myself.   And it's not really as if I want a lot -- because I don't.  But there are some things that I really would like to have.  Maybe after the holidays….

(The postscript to this is that if I was the GM of the Boston Red Sox and actually HAD the seemingly endless amounts of money and resources to spend on this holiday season -- I would try to find a way to make the deal for Santana as enticing as possible without having to compromise Jacoby Ellsbury's place on the team.  I don't know what else outside of other future prospects, Bucholz and Crisp would work -- but find a way to make it happen and get Jacoby off the table!!!  Isn't there ANYTHING else that would work?!?!?  Just my humble opinion….. )