Questions for today....

Can you be virtually waterlogged by the fact that it has rained for 4 weeks straight?
Just wonderin'....


Who's excited about the breaking news CNN just emailed about Kevin Jonas getting engaged?
(Does everyone even know who Kevin Jonas is? And seriously, does he warrant a breaking news flash?!?)

Is anyone else as happy as I am that the state is once again reconsidering the death penalty in special circumstance cases, such as abusive torture and death to children?

Wondering where the Varitek 'naysers are now....? It's been a little quiet in the bashing section.

How sad is it that people are making such a mockery out of Michael Jackson when he's not here to defend himself. And truly, if any of the stories are indeed true - then why isn't there any compassion towards a person who clearly was not happy with himself?


When will I make it back to yoga...?

Does anyone else avoid reading the Fox News website because they always seem to have the most disturbing articles in the Crime section? It's creepy to see the inhumanity.

Will my vegetables grow without the sun...? Isn't that against the basic concept of photosynthesis which is sort of what allows plants to grow? Just sayin...'

What questions are you pondering today.....?

The more things change, the more they stay the same....

So today was the day.
I gave my notice.

Happy. Excited. Cautious. Anxious. Eager. Relieved.
All of the above....running through my mind.

There was a possibility mentioned of my maybe staying on, in a different capacity potentially - on a telecommute basis, which I have to say -- would be fabulous.

We will see.

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

I can see clearly now the rain is gone...

Well, not really. It's still raining off and on. But who doesn't love a happy euphimism?

So, I wonder why children have one level of volume: insanely loud. Seriously, are my kids the only who completely disregard the concept of inside voice? My daughter has this uncanny way of screaming when she speaks, and forget it when she's angry. Glass breakingly loud. It's beyond annoying, and yet -- how does one get them to just be quiet??? It must be an acquired skill.

I feel quite accomplished today. A little overwhelmed, but accomplished. I purchased a good amount of barware and linens, as well as some other fun wine accessories. I stayed somewhat under my budget because I have other vendors still to buy from, but for a start -I feel good.

We spent almost the whole day at the store site, meeting with contractors for the refrigeration and window work - and while I'm entirely taken aback at the cost of the HVAC and now the plumbing for the cooler which is being completely restructured -- I'm feeling pretty excited about the rack design. We've simplified and redesigned our high end section in a way that's asthetic, and less expensive than originally projected. (The wall giveth...the wall taketh away. Sure, that's the Green Monster but you get the point.)

I'm a little surprised by my Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance estimate. I was going to go with the exceptionally reasonably priced Neighborhood Health Plan, but my kids pediatricians aren't on it and I refuse to switch their doctors. Your pediatrician is like a family member, you trust them implicitly and I am not switching. So, I'm pricing Blue Cross plans. In order to keep the budget we're going to have to go down a tier from what I had hoped - but at the same time, I believe it will be better than what we have now -- and that isn't terrible, so. I'll take it.

This coming week I should be starting to plan out my fresh cheese list. That, I am almost beside myself in excitement to do. I won't be ordering it for a while, but I am the organized type that needs to know exactly what I want in advance.

I can't wait to capitalize on my day of massage because let me tell you -- I sorely need it. That and a good yoga session. I'll feel better overall with a little grounding and re-establishing my center.

Monday's Musings...

1. Yesterday, we took the kids to Rockport despite the gloomy, rainy weather. We put on our windbreakers, brought our umbrellas – and fortunately, we had a damp and dark – but rain free day as we browsed through all the shops. It was such a good time actually because it wasn’t overly cool; it was still enjoyable to have a cup of ice cream and sorbet outdoors and we just always have a great time there poking around. We stopped at Blue Lantern where G bought me another really cute little dress. They have very fun dresses that are really reasonably priced (especially when on clearance!) and so now, we just have to make the time to go someplace so I can wear it. Oh, and hopefully the right weather too, because it’s absolutely a summer dress….
2. Are you as sick of the dreariness as I am? I think we’ve had a total of a day and a half of sunshine since May. Summer is half over as of this coming weekend and the weather forecast is predicting still more rain. These poor kids, their summer vacation is just such a drag. I mean, there’s just so many things you can do indoors when kids should be outside in the fresh air, being sunkissed.
3. Today was going to be the day I gave my notice. But I can’t do it. Not yet. And it’s just one of the many things I’m stressing over these days. I’m not feeling 100% secure with the banking which has one kink that we’re still working on. It’s fine – it’s not a stumbling block but until the commitment letter has been signed, I just can’t in good conscience do it. But, in the meantime I’m doing as much as I can to get things in order so when I do – we can get rolling. You know, little things like health insurance…
4. Billy Mays is not the “Sham-Wow” guy. So, this was a news flash for me because I definitely had the two of them confused. When I heard that Billy Mays passed away, my initial reaction was “clearly, that was God’s way of clueing him in that prostitutes are people too…” but then I discovered they aren’t the same person. Serves me right for being snarky…. Poor guy, he probably had a concussion from the landing of the plane and didn’t realize it. How awful.

I’m hoping that this week will be better than last – on all fronts, for everyone!

Be careful what you do, because a lie becomes the truth...

So, I'm still trying to reconcile the death of Michael Jackson.
It's surreal to think he's gone; partly because of the unexpectedness of it all - but also because it may have been a complete accident and lack of oversight on behalf of his doctors.

In some ways, it truly may be a blessing in disguise because in reality for all of the money and fame he encountered in his life, he was clearly an unhappy person. He was tragic in life, and unfortunately in death as well.

A misunderstood, exceptionally eccentric (out of necessity I sometimes think...) often maligned, incredibly talented, childlike innocent who was always philanthropic - always caring about the children of the world. Did he bring some of his troubles and scrutiny onto himself, absolutely. But in my heart of hearts, I never believed the allegations of which he was acquitted for. I always felt he was being extorted, and unfortunately he made himself a very easy mark. (My post title, rather sad - yet prophetic lyrics.)

My kids had really no concept of who Michael Jackson was prior to his death; my son knew of the song "Beat it", but seeing as I don't typically allow them to watch videos - and those videos of the 80's and 90's arent' typically shown anyway - they would have no way of knowing any of the spectacular videos or music that were such a part of our lives.

They've been watching the videos that have been playing for hours and my son says he can't help but want to dance listening to the music. And at this very moment, they're watching the video they've been waiting for because G and I have been hyping it up (and for good reason) "Thriller". (And yes, I'm very poorly dancing along with the moves that I still remember from it. Whenever I see it, I remember the days when my friends and I videotaped the video and we'd rewind it over and over and over again to memorize all the moves...)

He was an entertainer and musician who transcended all barriers: age, race, gender, religion. Children who never heard his music or saw his videos before love it upon hearing it; those of us who grew up with him loved it -- and our parents and grandparents did as well. He revolutionized the music industry, the way videos were created, the way dancers made their bodies move.

He was the change he wanted to see in the world -- in the best capacity that he could.
And I can only speak for myself, but he certainly made my life a little happier.

The elderly, the sick and the sudden....

They say say deaths come in threes.

And I heard the title of my post this morning on television as we were watching the seemingly non-stop coverage of Michael Jackson's untimely passing.

Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett & Michael Jackson -- all iconic in their own right, some more so than others -- all gone at almost the same time.

It's such an odd feeling to think that Michael Jackson is dead.
It almost just doesn't seem real.

Another cliche comes to mind, that could easily be fitting as well... "the day the music died."

C'mon you little fighter, no need to get uptighter …C'mon you little fighter, and get back up again

(Everyone, sing along now! “Uh-oh it’s raining again…”)

I’ve sort of alluded to the fact that there’s a lot going on in this girl’s world these days; some of it I’ve shared, some I haven’t. I’ve decided to share something today that I wasn’t going to, partly because the person involved wasn’t openly discussing it – and partly because well, this is my blog and it’s purpose was to be relatively superficial -- and just a fun way to keep up with me and the random silly thoughts that sometimes go through my head. (Who doesn’t need a good laugh every now and then?)

But part of the overwhelming feeling I’ve been experiencing is due to my business venture – some of it to a personal situation that unfortunately I don’t have the ability to help with, or be a part of in anyway – and that’s a frustrating, frightening, irritating and anxious thing for me to accept.

My mom has very recently been diagnosed with Cancer. And I don’t even know what kind, to tell the truth. The doctors don’t know what kind. She's had every test under the sun with no answers.

And yet, they think it is going to be treatable. But again, without a clear cut diagnosis – who knows. They aren’t even sure where it’s originating from.

And no, she is not going to Dana Farber or any facility in Massachusetts much to the dismay of most of our family. My parents moved out of state about 7 years ago. And she is being treated there.

When you’re from Boston, it’s very difficult to hold any amount of esteem in hospitals outside of the state when we have the best in the country here. (Are you kidding, I don’t even trust a local hospital that's south of Boston proper! * No offense to my Quincy and friends from that point on...* I am a North Shore kinda girl, so for minor things, there are a few hospitals near me that will work in a pinch – or are fabulous for giving birth – but when it comes to real medical concerns, there’s nothing that comes close to Boston. “Nuff said.)

She’s starting a very aggressive chemotherapy tomorrow, and it is weighing on my mind very heavily that I can’t be there for support while she and my father go through this. It weighs very heavily that we don’t know specifically the Cancer she’s being treated for (hence the aggressive cocktail being given).

I suppress most of these thoughts during the day, but find myself sometimes really stressed at night when I'm "relaxing", or waking up at night gasping for air because I can’t breathe. And I know this is because I’m feeling helpless and useless; this is my mother, and there’s nothing I can do to help because I’m too far away.

I believe in positive thoughts, positive energy, and I think having a strong support system when going through a struggle such as this is key; I’m concerned for my Mom because she doesn’t have that. She and my father aren’t overtly social so they don’t have many friends there, and with all of their family up here – there arent’ very many people for my Mom to connect with. I don’t know that she’d actually take the time to join a support group of survivors and/or people going through similar struggles. And I firmly believe that is a key component that is missing in the battle she’s about to take on.

She has started an online journal (not a blog) in a Cancer community type website; if anyone has any personal insight or inspiration that they’d like to share with her, let me know and I’ll point you in her direction. I’m not leaving it open for public consumption for obvious reasons.

So, with all of this being said…. thanks for listening. I know there’s lurkers out there who don’t comment but visit – and I appreciate you all taking the time to hear me out on something that goes outside the scope of my favorite brand of mascara or DSW shopping experience. (or gushing about the Captain...like I said, who doesn't need a good laugh now and again?)

Today’s just a day that I’m feeling a bit more down than I typically ever feel. And I think that I’m not being true to myself in this blogging experience by not sharing what’s on my mind for the day. Sure, I could make something up that’s light and funny, but it would probably fall flat. I assure you, the stuff that is typically my world will be back in full force tomorrow.

Because rumor has it…..the sun is going to be shining in Boston once again, and I think that is exactly what the doctor would order for this girl.

I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day.....

Okay, that’s not entirely true.

Even I, little “Miss Rose Colored Glasses” can’t muster up enough joy today to break through the doom and gloom spell that has apparently been cast over the North East for the past three weeks. Cold, damp, bleak….blah. I have got to think that we’re going to have a fabulous streak of summertime weather sometime in our not so distant future.

So, the feeling for today is: overwhelmed. Just a little bit. It’s interesting, to buy an existing business would be so much easier; building one is much less expensive however, there’s more details to be set up and there’s more cash out of pocket with no revenue when you’re building out. So ensuring that we stay within budget is an additional pressure that honestly, is probably is the biggest pressure in this kind of a situation. When you’re buying an existing business, there is no budget – there is no fronting of money, it’s literally turnkey and life is good. That’s not to say that scenario doesn’t present challenges, but there’s an immediate gratification that a start up just doesn’t have. The revenue will come no doubt – but it’s the planning that can be a little nervewracking.

Plus, there are so many other details to think about… you get the big ones right away, but it’s the smaller details that could fall through the cracks, and so I drive myself crazy trying to remember not to forget anything. Of course, I have lists – but still, there are the obvious things that we have in Boston that because they’re part of the wallpaper of running a business – could easily be overlooked. Of course, we won’t have that happen – but the overwhelming feeling of having forgotten something creeps up every now and then.

Which reminds me, I have to search for a wrapping station set up – something that up until yesterday, I didn’t think we’d need per se, but given the new register configuration – I am going to have a wrapping station! So to find the right paper holders and dispensers is now added to my list of “things to find”.

I don’t know about you, but I could use a little external rays from the sun today….

"you are but mortal woman. Time is now to be dreaded - since once he put that mark upon your throat."

Okay, so I was planning on chatting today about True Blood and last night’s episode – but this tidbit from my morning is just too good to not mention. It’s rather fitting for the vein of today’s topic, and yet just wrong on so many levels.

I received an inquiry this morning from a user in the field – and he said his name was “Tam”. So, after speaking with him, I asked him to send me an email so I could follow his inquiry up in writing and send him information; well, I get his email – and his name is not “Tam”.

It is Tampon.

Seriously.
Seriously?!?!
Who DOES that to a kid?!?!?
And what I want to know is – does it mean something different in any other language???

Moving on to my friends from Bon Temps.
I really am just not a fan of Sookie; I much prefer her darker counterparts. And I’m thrilled that her vamp boyfriend really laid into her last night for not using her head. Doesn’t she get that it’s eternal life or death for Vampires who break the laws? Her far too fabulous beau Bill has put his everlasting existence on the line for her over and over again and she is constantly nagging at him to be perfect. I do love her ability to hear thoughts though….

Because we never would've found out some info about our benevolent benefactor, the lovely Miss Maryanne. Isn't interesting to think she is the Devil? Or is she “a” devil/demon as opposed to the big “S”. I've got to tell you, whatever she is -- she totally cracks me up.

Lafayette is going to be a fabulous vampire. I am so looking forward to his return, he is going to rock that town. I don’t know who he is in “real life” but he’s a really good actor. He’s got that accent down perfectly, sort of the way Terrence Howard did in “The Best Man”.

"The Terror Twins", Eric and Pam – are absolutely hysterical. Who doesn't love a vampire who foils his hair?!? He doesn't even have a reflection to look at, so -- I find it rather ironic that his vanity lies so deep. The third one that was hanging around with them was fortunately killed off; he was vulgar and rude, and not nearly as interesting. I don’t think Eric & Pam get nearly enough screen time but there's something to be said about that; their sparse appearances with witty and satirical comments keep me longing for more.

I could do with less of Tara, though she is back in shape and quickly becoming another one of my arm role models once again. What’s sort of funny about that, is she’s so incredibly jacked and no one wonders how she gets that way? I mean, she clearly spends time at the gym and yet there’s never a mention about it at all. Just a little noted inconsistency – which speaking of, there are some definite timeline inconsistencies in that show. As well as the mere fact that so many people of paranormal capacity seem to flock and gravitate around the Bon Temps community and no one even blinks an eye at that.

But I’m not about to poke holes in the story line. I just enjoy being able to indulge in a little supernatural soap opera once a week and romanticize the vampire culture...the passion, the romance and of course, the tragedy of it all.

Is it wrong...

To have eaten almost a whole bag of Tostitos *with a hint of Jalapeno*, 3/4 of a jar of salsa and a half bottle of wine -- alone?

While watching a fantastic Sox game (thank you Jason & of course - outstanding pitching by the intense "Captain Obvious" Josh Beckett.)

Naaah.
I think not.

Rain, rain, go away...come again some other day.

(As I type this, the sun is finally peeking out from the clouds... but for how long is the question.)

So, given the current forecast - strawberry picking for tomorrow is a no-go.
So instead, we'll be having a Roller Derby day. We'll be rounding up the cousins and hitting the roller rink. Since I didn't get to go to my son's birthday party, this will be a good make up day with all of us being healthy.

Today I had a nice coffee visit as planned, but that unfortunately ended in a horrible headache. I haven't had one in a while, and it's funny because it's probably not even that bad, but since I've been relatively headache free - I'm not used to having any at all. So, it's sort of like hitting a wall.

A good glass of wine and some relaxation tonight should help that some. Hopefully anyway because the Tylenol & Motrin just aren't working.

The clock is ticking on the new business....we received our commitment letter today and hopefully will have our closing shortly, so I'm trying to be patient about when I can give my notice. I want to go in on Monday and do it - but that's irrational. But maybe the week after...?
We shall see.

Have a fabulous weekend, and to all you Father's out there in the Blogosphere -- have a wonderful day on Sunday.

People pointing, fingerpainting the world...

Today I valiantly tried once again to obtain the same or similar nail shade that my girl Giada wears on her fingernails. It’s this rather creamy whitish-pink; not quite OPI’s “Italian Love Affair” – but close. Up until the very moment I was Googling for the image I just linked to, I had no idea what it was. I thought I replicated it rather well today using Essie’s “Cabi-o-lait” and then “Hi-Maintenance”.

However, come to find out just now that it is OPI’s “Bubble Bath” – which is typically the shade I opt for with my French Manicures.
Who knew?

Well, the moral of the story is that this particular combination I have on today – while I do like – looks terrible on me. I was going to throw in the towel from chasing this elusive colored butterfly; obviously when you’re always cold and your hands have a blue tinge to them all the time, the pale look just doesn’t work. I feel like I have cadaver hands.

But now that I know it’s la “Bubble Bath” – I’ll give it another shot. I’ve never worn that color alone, and clearly – I’m not the only one who’s looking for that clean, soft yet pretty look that Ms. DeLaurentiis’ has got going on; a year ago when I was trying to figure it out, there was nothing on the information superhighway. Now – the answer is there.

So this girl is going to give the summerish look (aside from the typical French) one more try at the next appointment.
And if it doesn’t work, then I will kiss that elusive butterfly of color goodbye…..

What is on my mind for Wednesday...

Choose to see the positive possibilities, and you will. Choose to follow those possibilities, and success takes root. You can make your life a triumph in spite of every adversity. Or you could make your life a mess in spite of every advantage. Success does not depend on where you start. If it did, no one would have ever been successful. Success comes from what you choose to do with whatever you have. It is fully available to anyone who decides to make the effort and the commitment.
- Ralph Marston

1. How fabulous did Tim Wakefield look last night? His pitches were on spot, hot. I’ve got to be honest, I don’t typically love watching the games he pitches – his style sometimes is boring, and of course – though he’s been really good this season, to me it’s always the possibility for an “iffy” game. Not last night. He was in command….

2. My knee has been really bothering me lately. It’s funny, I refer to my knee but it’s truly my quad. I have been quite remiss in going to yoga or running and whatever quad strength I built up has diminished. I need to be more consistent; it’s really my lower portion of my quad that’s bugging me, but it’s radiates towards my knee. I’m sure the damp weather hasn’t helped any so the lack of rain for the past 24 hours has been fantastic. I’m going to be quite sad to see the sun disappear as the weather forecasters keep threatening is going to happen. Of course, exercise is fabulous for stress as well – and that’s another reason why I should get back into the groove. (Well, that and also the fact that I am supposed to be running a 5k on the 4th of July….)

3. It’s a busy week! Today, I’m meeting my girlfriend Susan for lunch; tonight we’re going for dinner with some friends of ours to socialize- but also discuss scheduling for the store because one of them may be working there as a core employee. Tomorrow, I’ve got to take the kids after work to get their Father’s Day gifts for G…Friday, I’m meeting a girlfriend from high school for coffee/lunch at the ‘Bucks – I haven’t seen her outside of running into her at a Kids Playground in years, and we’ve got a lot of things in common going on right now, so we thought it would be a good time to catch up; so I’m looking forward to that. Saturday – if the weather forecasters are wrong then the kiddies and I are going Strawberry picking! And then of course, Sunday is Father’s Day which is not up to me. Next week is even more hectic but I don’t want to think about it right now.

4. Dear God, I need a Blackberry! July can’t come soon enough – that’s when I’m eligible to change my phone. I have got to take a serious look and compare the Blackberry to the new LG phones; I think the biggest benefit to the Blackberry is calendaring – however, if the battery life isn’t good – that can be an issue.

Anyone have thoughts, insight, suggestions – please feel free to share!

Ooh la la….

For those of you who are as obsessed as I am with having your house smell delicious and “like home” (whatever that comfort smell might be to you…lavender, pumpkin, vanilla, all of the above….) I thought I’d let you know that The Body Shop is having a huge sale, similar to what Bath and Body Works has (which also is going on right now, might I add!) where many of their products are on an incredible clearance.

I personally stocked up on the home fragrance oils, which are normally $7-8 a pop – for $1 a piece! That’s right, a buck.

I’m sure the available scents vary from location to location, but this girl stocked up on the following: Pumpkin, Almond (definitely a favorite!), Spa Relief, Gingerbread, and Herbal Remedy. (I’m toying with visiting the mall near my work at lunch this week to grab even more, incase there’s some vanilla or lavender tossed into those baskets!)

Don’t walk, run - to your closest mall that has a Body Shop in it and get some amazing fragrance oil for yourself. They last forever, there’s no messy wick smoke (or expensive soy candles to avoid that!) and for the amount of money you’d spend on one Yankee Candle – you can have enough oil to last a year for each room in your house. (Not to down on the Yankee -- I'm always going to be a fan, but the candle scents and burn quality have diminished in my opinion.)

Trust me, you’ll be glad that you did!

Now that's a Monday....

It was a little odd this morning being out for coffee and breakfast with G as we started our day today. It's not often that I'm with him and not the kiddies - I almost felt guilty being without them if I'm not at work. Ah yes, the guilt of being a Mother. Anyway...we were spending the day together doing some shopping (or rather, pre-shopping since the gift show isn't for another two weeks) for some product lines for the store. I am beyond excited with some of the food products -- and as much as I want to spill the beans on what they are, I can't just yet. But they're gooood.....

Afterwards, we ventured to the mall - a place that we rarely get to go as grownups without having two little people to keep an eye on. It was great, actually going into stores and browsing and having lunch. But the best part was.... we got our teeth whitened! There's a Smile Bright at the Mall and they were having a two for one special so... we figured what the heck! My teeth are already really bright (I used Crest white strips a while back - they really work!) so now they're screaming bright....and G's teeth had never been whitened and they really brightened up. So he's going to go back in a few months, touch them up again - they'll be even whiter. It's pretty reasonably priced, quick - and me personally, I love the way my teeth feel.

So, as we're sitting there with our shades and blue lights glowing -- the phone rings. G listens to the message (naturally we can't speak because our teeth are being pampered) and I see him motion to me out of the corner of my eye. I grab the phone and listen -- and it's the bank calling to say our loan was approved and we'd be receiving our official commitment letter this week.

That was definitely news we'd been hoping to hear, and today was for me -- one of the better Monday's I've experienced in a long, long time.

Stewie: Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that.

1. As I was getting my coffee this a.m. , I saw on the television a story about a bird in San Francisco who is randomly attacking people in front of a building: http://wfmz.com/view/?id=1157040. You have got to see this, it’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen! I wish I could walk by and have that bird do that to me, it would be one of the funniest things, ever. He/She’s this really cute little black bird who is for whatever reason coveting the landing on which he/she perches (I didn’t notice a nest being protected unless the tv cameras weren’t able to get a good shot of it) and he seems to like to snag people on their cell phones in particular. He/She just swoops down, and gives them a little ruffle in the back of their hair. It is hysterical. Our little feathered friend even has a blog dedicated in his/her name: http://www.frontstreetattackbird.blogspot.com/. This story was a great way to start a rainy, dreary Friday morning.

2. Surely we’ve got to see the sun again soon. I’m hoping it’s tomorrow because the poor kids are starting to get cabin fever (as I am, truthfully.) This weekend’s plans are going to be fun, but not hectic which is great. Tonight, one of my girlfriends is coming over and I’m making dinner (though truthfully, I have no idea what I’m making just yet – nothing is appealing to me. Maybe a light pasta tossed with veggies and some salad?) and then we’re going to have our Denise Richards “Its Complicated” viewing. It’s unfortunate there is only one episode right now to watch, but that’s okay. We tend to like to watch HGTV on Demand too, so that might be on deck afterwards. Saturday, I think I’m taking the kids to the Butterfly Place and then Kimballs for ice cream should the sun make its appearance. We haven’t been yet this season, we love it there – and especially since the kids have a collection of about 30 gypsy moth caterpillars that they’ve captured and have spun their cocoons – they’re going to have so much to talk about with the butterfly keepers.

3. How’s about those Sox? I really, really wanted to see us get CC Sabathia. That was a drum I was banging a year before he was even available. Definitely would’ve been a good weapon to have in the arsenal – and he was on his game last night. At the same time, while I don’t follow the Yankees at all – Texeira has been rather unimpressive to me, from what little I have seen of him. So glad we didn’t waste our money. It’s always interesting to see the comparison between the Yankees dugout and the Sox dugout. Joe Gerardi and the rest of the crew always look frustrated and tense….and yet our staff and team tends to look even keeled and laid back. I’ve got to think that goes back to my thinking that there just isn’t a lot of cohesiveness in that organization as a whole.
3a. Brad Penny looked really good last night, no? Despite coming out swinging (come on, who didn’t feel just a smidge of satisfaction when he nailed ARod?) he pitched with a lot of diversity which was great and made for a very interesting game to watch.


4. Who’s got a long weekend? I do! I do! I’m taking Monday off to go do some product line shopping for the new store and I can’t wait! This has been a long and rather stressful week and this girl is long overdue for a little relaxation. Now, don’t get me wrong – it won’t be relaxing at all, but it will be fun.
4a. I have promised myself a day of relaxation on the first day of being self employed. My very first day, I plan on utilizing the gift card for a massage that my girlfriend gave to me a few weeks back, and add a service or two additionally on my own so that I can detox and purge all of the tension I’d been carrying with me to that point. And I can’t wait….!

5. Rediscovering Twitter…. And finally, I’ve re-embraced using Twitter. I still think it sucks for personal use – but it has its place for business use. I’ve found some of my favorite Food Network chefs on there (love my girl Giada, still think she needs bangs though! Just sayin’…), and some great wine resources and vineyards who are now Twittering as well. It’s interesting, when I first started using it two years ago – no one was on there really. Now, though I think the interaction is lousy and it’s still buggy – the user base has improved tremendously -- so for the store, I’ve got some fantastic food/cheese/wine feeds that have been sharing some really useful information.

However you spend your day and your weekend, do it with a smile and those you love - and enjoy!

These are a few of my favorite things.....

(and not in any particular order, just randomly listed. There are plenty more, this is just a sampling...)

Being a Mom. Greek yogurt. My yoga mat. Finding the right pair of shoes. Snuggling with my husband. Peppermint flavored water. Christina Aguilera & Kelly Clarkson cd’s. The smell of my children’s hair after a bath. Cotton candy flavored slush. Being with family. Ann Taylor. The plants and flowers on my porch in full bloom. Really good herb infused olive oil. The feeling after an invigorating run. Entertaining for my friends and family. Candles that smell like home. Buying a new “perfect” lip gloss. The smell of snow. Feeling happy. A full refrigerator. Hearing my children laugh. Pre de Provence soap. Wearing warm cozy clothes. Ina Garten & Giada DeLaurentis' shows. A well made cup of coffee. The smell of dew in the summer mornings. Clean lines, and classic simplicity. Really good sushi. The sound of rain at night. Songs that evoke emotion. A strong, deep tissue massage. Tone on tone striping. The smell and sounds of a fireplace or fire pit. A sense of accomplishment. Laughing, laughing, laughing. Feeling loved.

I think I could actually feel myself lose brain cells....

I watched E’s new show “Kendra” – out of not wanting to watch the news -- and of course, at G’s interest.

While she has an amazing figure….she is by far, not the brightest bulb in the box.
Let me put it to you this way: she makes Jessica Simpson appear to be a rocket scientist.
Really.

So, while I get she’s young and been pampered for the last few years – how does one throw clothes all over a fabulous mansion? Literally.

Didn’t anyone teach her not to sing her words? Her and her girlfriend who was visiting out of state and looks to Miss Kendra as a “role model” (gasp!) – both practically sang their conversations.

K: “Hi—eeee----you look so preeeettttyeeeee”
Friend: “Noooooo…you look so hootttttt”
K: “Noooooo….you do. So good to seeeeee yoooouuuuu”.

Throughout the whole show. (Gag me with a spooooooooonnnnnn.)

I had to shut it off when her mother came to visit her gorgeous home – and was horrified to see a stripper pole in the family room. Yes, our girl Kendra “had to have” a strip pole to make it feel like home. That was more important to her than a sofa, or a bed “and stuff”…. (insert confused look here.)

Listen, when you peak at 23 as Hef’s girlfriend – clearly there’s no where to go but down.
But wait – there’s more!She just announced this morning that she’s pregnant!
Well I wish her the best of luck…. And hopefully, she’s going to learn to do most of the things that she claims she doesn’t know how to do at all – because when you’re Mom, you kinda need to know how do the little things, like….cook? Or clean….

One can only imagine the second season of this series if it makes it that far.

We are not meant to resolve all contradictions, but to live with them – and rise above them. – William Blake

As I mentioned earlier this week – this is not a healthy workplace.
I am really, really, really looking forward to being able to focus my energies full time to the new store.

I can’t get into specifics – nor would I anyway – but suffice to say that there is going to be a major change and/or changes happening in this organization that is going to cause a wake in the waters, and I do not want to be here for when it happens. It’s going to be ugly.

None of it has to do with me, but that’s besides the point. Just being aware of the situation is stressful enough.

I wish I had known the type of environment I was getting into beforehand.

Even though my stay may be temporary at this point, it doesn’t make it any easier to be here.

Time moves quickly because we are allowing creative energy to flow to us through our mindset.

The weekend went by far too quickly.

I had toyed with taking the day off, to sort of run errands and have some quiet downtime – maybe browse around the Gift Center and open accounts for the product lines I need to start ordering now if I want them for Christmas. It’s true, you have to pre-order holiday items if you want to have them in your shop at the right season. Retail that isn’t food related is funny like that.

Instead though – I’ll be doing that next Monday. In some ways, that’s good because it will give me something to look forward to all week. G is typically off on Mondays and so for us to spend a day together without kids, is a rare commodity. Being Mom & Dad is a ton of fun, don’t get me wrong – but being together and not having to worry about two little people is especially nice sometimes. I always tell myself, "they’re only small for such a short time" – but still, Mom & Dad deserve a little time together, and sometimes it’s better spent and enjoyed when it’s during the day than at night when you’re too tired to really enjoy anything, even just going out for dinner.

The colors for the store are picked out too, and I’m really excited about it. The walls that we have (there aren’t many, it’s mostly all glass) are going to be painted in a gradient spray and blended. I’m not going to spill the colors just yet – but they’re beautiful and exactly what I had in mind. My mother in law is a designer and so, it’s great when you and your designer are in synch; sometimes people have varying ideas and I’ve got to think that would be difficult. But, she’s so talented – I trust her taste implicitly and the truth is, my taste isn’t very different from hers most time. So, though I hadn’t told her what I was thinking – the samples she brought me were exactly what I was thinking – and it just clicked. I picked out the specific shades from the same color families and the decision was made.

G put it in a very accurate way this morning, and I hadn’t thought of it this way: it’s like having a baby. Every step of the way, is like when you are planning to have a baby. Truthfully, I think that makes it less overwhelming to think of because I assure you – there is a lot that goes into opening a store. And this one is basically retail ready as far as buildout is concerned, so we’re in a very simplified situation; but it is still, very complicated.

But the possibilities, are so exciting…..

Friday's original post....

So my thoughts from yesterday were temporarily interrupted to the song from yesterday's post that I don't dare write or think about because then....I'll be in the same situation as I was in yesterday. "Nuff said.

1. Time to boycott Dunks again. I tried about 2 years ago, and I successfully gave them up for just shy of 2 months. They became the only gig in town for me and I had to begrudgingly go back. Since changing from flavored coffee to flavored shots in very watered down plain coffee - the quality has gone down hill. Whether it tastes burned or soapy, it's never good. The last few days no matter which Dunks I go to -- it tastes like paper. Paper?? What an odd description, I know - but trust me, now that I've mentioned it - you might pick up on it too.

2. Hello Clover! Okay, so I don't often get to go to Starbucks for coffee because it's typically out of the way unless I traipse into Bedford Center, but truthfully - at work for a quick cup - that is a pain to do. However, in Melrose..... there is a Dunkins that has a Clover system; if you've never had it before, it's a reverse French press and let me tell you -- all the acidity and overpowering bitterness that alot of the coffees that the 'Bucks carries is completely gone if you get it from this machine. Sure, my coffee might go up in price, but truly - with the amount of coffee I've thrown away this week alone, the extra 35 cents is worth it.

3. I always thought having a boy and a girl would eliminate alot of fighting of siblings. Boy, was I ever wrong. I swear, the only words I find myself saying to them is "seperate yourselves!" "don't you put your hands on each other", "if you can't get along, go in different rooms", and "stop screaming!!". Why are kids so loud?!?! Do they not hear themselves? My favorite is of course "please stop whining!!!". I can tolerate a lot of things, but whining is not one. Anyway -- sometimes they get along famously but lately it feels like those days are fewer and further between.

4. It's been an emotionally draining couple of weeks. There's been good news, which I've shared on here...not so great news that I havent' shared; work has been irritating and so it's suffice to say my stress level has been a bit higher than normal. It's been an emotional rollercoaster of sorts. I haven't been able to run or go to yoga, and so I'm sorely in need of a little "let down" time to just laugh and have fun.

5. Which will be on Monday... that fundraiser is Monday evening and my girlfriend and I will going and meeting another one of my girlfriends (who I just found out is also going, and I haven't seen her in ages, so I'm looking forward to it!) -- and hopefully we'll get to have a few appetizers, and laughs while admiring the Captain from afar. Last time I was there, it was a lot of fun - and best of all, it's an early night! Who wants to be out late on a work night? Not this girl...

Most importantly -- it's in support of a fantastic cause, and as I mentioned previously -- it's run by two women who are small business owners and entrepreuneurs and how can I not support something like that?

6. And finally.... The kiddies and I are off to go feed my girlfriend's cat and then to soccer for the last game of the season. I'm not sure what the kiddies and I are going to do later, it's weather dependant and truly - I'm good with just hanging out with them at the park.

We've got the rest of the summer to have our Saturday adventures....

Can't get you outta my head...

I.. I always thought that I knew
I'd always have the right to
be living in the kingdom of the good and true
and so on
But now I think I was wrong
and you were laughing along
And now I look a fool for thinking you were on...my side

Is it any wonder I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?

Sometimes it's hard to know where I stand,
it's hard to know where I am,
Well maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm
stranded in the wrong time
where love is just a lyric in a children's rhyme, a sound bite

Is it any wonder I'm tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?
Oh, these days, after all the misery made,
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed?

(Thank you to Keane for writing this unbelievably fabulous song.... but unfortunately, having it be one of those tunes that once it's in my head -- I can't get rid of it. Heard this on my way to work this morning, and as a result -- it's still all I'm thinking of, 8 hours or so later. So much for my originally planned post!)

There is a desire deep within the soul which drives man from the seen to the unseen, to philosophy and to the divine...

I had a fantastic phone conversation this morning..

A few weeks back, on the advice of an acquaintance – I spoke with an architect who is well versed in the business of retail merchandising and architecture. He just wanted to do some insight and information sharing regarding a floor plan for the new store. He was a very nice gentleman, we spent some time on the phone chatting – and left it open to potentially working together at some point in the future.

He called a few days ago, and I missed his call. For whatever reason, Verizon can be less than timely on their voice messaging system – as a result, I didn’t receive a voice mail indicator or any new messages until this morning. So, upon hearing that he had a question for me – I returned his call.

It turns out that his wife is going through a career change, and is looking to get involved in an industry somewhat in line with some of the features I’m looking to incorporate into the new store. He said that after our initial phone conversation, he was impressed with my drive and obvious passion for what I want to do; that I had a strong sense of organization and clarity and he thought that his wife should meet me – that I could possibly help provide motivation, inspiration and insight, and mentor to a certain extent – would I mind speaking with her. Of course, my answer was "absolutely".

I was beyond flattered; it’s one thing for me to be excited about being in business – but to have someone feel that I could be inspiring to someone else – and have this come from a person who is unbiased, was such a positive and reaffirming thing for me! Sometimes it’s good to hear from someone who doesn’t already know you, or have affection towards you – send praise your way.

I’ve always enjoyed being a motivator for others – I’m exceptionally self motivated, and I do love to inspire others -- so I’m truly looking forward to meeting this person and hopefully getting her excited about the possibilities that she can create for herself.

(See, those rose colored glasses aren’t necessarily such a bad thing…. it's having a positive outlook that sometimes helps you see the "forest through the trees", rather than the big old trunk that's seems to be right in front of you.)

Ice, ice baby...

When I tell you it’s cold in here, I’m not kidding.
It’s freezing.

Let me paint you a picture. Think of the building I work in as a rectangle. You’ve got your left half, and your right half. I sit on the left hand side, if you look at it from the perspective of walking in the front door. The central hallway, is comfortable. You can tell the air conditioning is on, but it’s not blowing or terribly cold. The offices on the right of the hall – are warm. Pretty warm, actually. I’d even say borderline uncomfortable depending on whether the sun is beating in on the windows.

The left hand side of the office however – is an absolute arctic zone. Damp, cold and icy. The minute you want into my office from the hallway – there is an immediate reaction of everyone making some semblance of a comment or sound because the temperature change is that dramatic. So, I sit in my cube wrapped in my “Nana blanket” (lovingly named that because aren’t all Nana’s always cold??) with blue hands and a pinched neck because I’m incredibly hunched up.

So, one has to wonder why the building is so symmetric in it’s temperature divide? Well, it seems that those on the right hand side of the building were complaining about how cold it was, (and despite what I’m about to say next, it’s always very cold in here)and so the Building Manager was directed to close some of the vents on that side of the house. What did that do? It redirected all of the air to my side of the building. And I sit in the far corner of the building in the last office, which is traditionally cooler anyway – with a vent right over my head that is now apparently blowing a whole buildings worth of refrigeration onto one half of the whole.

Good times…good times.

Moderation is the key of life, and I think this goes in all areas – including room temperature. I have yet to figure out why a building can be universally set to a specific temperature (let’s just say, 72 degrees for this experiment) and yet the temperature will vary greatly from room to room. And I mean this on a day that is not skewed with vents closed off such as the case is today. Is this just in government buildings – or does it happen everywhere? I get that it can happen in homes with an outside wall, or different floors if it’s not zoned individually – but literally, next to each other?

Dressing for work, is definitely a challenge.
But I assure you, tomorrow I will come in and be dressed appropriately for a freezeout – and it will be desperately hot in here.
I don’t understand the difficulty in maintaining a temperate climate.
Can anyone clarify? Anyone….? Anyone….?
(Bueller… Bueller…..Bueller….)

Belief makes things real; makes things feel alright

Fear is a powerful thing. It can make one think irrationally and not clearly.
Or…it can provide clarity.

Fear can help you fight with hope…or cling to false hopes from inaccurate information. Fear is passive aggressive; but fear can also inspire.

Fear is normal, healthy – and necessary in life.
It’s what you do with that fear – that will either help you -- or end up being your demise.

Fear may control a choice, but it should never be the choice.

It has been a very busy and exciting 24 hours for this girl. Yesterday, we had meetings just about all day to discuss the new location. I’m really excited about the color scheming and layout – as well as finding that the Restaurant Depot is by far the better pricing option and service distributor for our refrigeration needs. I haven’t started the PR blitz yet – I’ll do that this evening. I drafted up my Press Release and now just need to finish my media contact list before sending it out. I’m hoping to generate a lot of excitement about the new location.

I’ve even contacted WEEI to see if they’ve come up with any affordable pricing packages for small businesses. Being such a major market station – they may not have anything, but I wanted to ask the question anyway. I’ve had success with smaller, less popular radio stations who are willing to work with the small “Mom & Pop” businesses such as ours – but, I figured why not check and see if maybe the economy is making it so that no one outside of “Giant Glass” can really afford to advertise – and just maybe there’s a deal to be made. We shall see….

Today is an interesting day here at the office. Lots of snipes, and gripes and infighting. This is not a healthy organization… and I am so ready for the day to be over already. I need to take a good run and clear my head a bit before going home; a little positive thinking and some blood circulation flow should do me a world of good.