The Emancipation of Me....

Saturday night, G & I saw Ms. Mariah Carey, 4th row in the Orchestra Pit at the Wang.
It was actually like being third row, because the Pit Wings don't have a front row, per se.
She was right there.

Now, I know that Mimi is not a petite girl -- but, I was pretty surprised at how.....how shall I say....hefty she was. Which of course, is not a bad thing - not trying to be a cat - but I think she could've dressed in a way that was more flattering. That being said, her voice is unbelievable. I wish she sang more of her classic songs rather than mostly the hip hop-ish styles but that's okay; I think I wouldn't necessarily see her again until she's older and more inclined to sing rather than be the R&B star.

Can I just tell you... her shoes..... amazing. They were the most gorgeous stiletto heel of at least 5" and completely ensconsed in rhinestones! Or maybe they were diamonds -- she is after all Mariah Carey. Though I've got to think that no one would ever wear diamond studded shoes! If I was a gambling girl, I'd guess Christian Louboutin....they were smokin'.

It was definitely not the most amazing show I'd ever been too -- she' absolutely could've done a different style show and hit that category; but it was worth going to.

Next concert on the "must see" list: my girl Christina Aguilera.
Now that -- will be a front row ticket if possible. If not, then I'll take the 4th row... though I don't know that she'd perform in someplace as intimate as the Wang.

But I hope so!

Letters of the day....

1. Dear "Concerned Citizens", it's enough already.....I've started receiving "disapproving" letters at the store..... it's so wild. The city we opened in used to be dry, and there apparently is a large community of reformed alcoholics that live there. Well, for the last three weeks I've recieved letters from "concerned" members of the community that are almost all identical in style, format and verbiage. It's interesting because I wonder what they expect from writing them. Do they think that we'd suddenly stop selling alcohol? I'm sorry but I don't think that's going to happen. I have actually written back to each one so far; nicely, and politely of course - because I think it's important that they feel they're opinion is respected - but also in a way to kindly let them know that we are responsible business owners and that we are aren't new at this. I think it's a good thing because it makes them feel their issues are addressed -- and I feel better because I'm addressing it.

2. Dear Mariah Carey, I do believe that G and I are going to see you on Saturday! Very exciting... There are a few people that I think are worth paying crazy money to go sit front row-ish to see, and she is one of them. Of course, my girl Christina Aguilera is another....if only she would tour!

3. Dear Celebrities, what the flip are you thinking? So, I'm watching Celebrity Rehab and just blown away by it. I mean, I love this show - and it's not the first time I've seen it -- but truly, it's so disturbing to see people who had the world in the palm of their hands and just blew it..... ugh. I mean, it's one thing when it's a sad scenario to be a drug addict because maybe you had a horrible life and had no little or chances in life; but when you're a freaking celebrity?!? And you fall into drug addiction because you could....??? C'mon.

4. Dear Mr. President, you are such the eloquent speaker. However, I couldn't help but feel like calling you "President Santa Claus" during your speech. Money for everyone!!! Listen, I'm all about making life easier, but truly - let's be realistic about it. I did however, enjoy portions of it - your charisma is fabulous -- but sometimes the beauty of how you say things overshadows what you're actually saying. It's sort of like the art of telling someone to go to hell in such a way that they actually thank you - and then ask for the directions.

5. Dear Friends, Family & Anyone who knows me, I am not a perfect person. I've never professed to be -- I am and will forever be a work in progress. And I'm proud to say that. I am who I am, and though I know that I always have things about me I can work on - we still shouldn't lose the core of who we are. I've tried very hard over the years to choose my battles, and that has a lot to do with realizing the things I can and can not change. This includes how other people live their lives. Embracing that makes life so much easier.

20 Random Questions....

Courtesy of Dawn...
Check out her answers too!


1. What's the last sporting event you watched?
That would be the game in which Brad Favre gave his place in history away. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad the Saints are in the Superbowl - but seriously, Favre went from being potentially a legend to.....not being one. Definitely a great game none the less.

2. The world could do without:
Brangelina (did I write that?!!) Mean people, ignorance, selfishness, laziness. (What the world needs now, is love...sweet love. But I digress....)

3. What is the farthest you have ever been from home?
Grand Caymen Island, which I think is technically further away that California.

4. What is your favorite kind of cereal?
Special K with Almond or with Dark Chocolate. But only for snacking - I don't eat cereal in the a.m.

5. Four sports teams you like:
I don't think there are four. The Sox, The Pats...the Celts. That's about it.

6. What is it time for right now?
Bedtime. Zzzzz.

7. You wake up and discover that it's a rainy, dreary day out. Does this affect your attitude at all or do you tend to stay happy no matter what the weather is doing?
It really doesn't matter to me. The sun is always shining in my world, even if I don't outwardly show it.

8. What is the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon?
With the family.

9. What is your favorite appetizer?
Oooh. Now that's a good question. Love scallops wrapped in bacon....also can't live without shrimp cocktail which is technically an appetizer. I also enjoy a really good teriyaki.

10. Why did you pick the outfit you have on?
I wouldn't say I'm in an outfit, per se... yoga pants & a sweatshirt because they're comfy!

11. How sensitive are you to cool temperatures?
Outdoors, cold doesn't bother me. But indoors? I'm really sensitive to cold temperatures indoor.
12. What's your favorite blanket like?
I don't have one. Is that odd?

13. Did you go to public school?
I did. I wanted to go to parochial school because I liked the uniforms. (I know, crazy right? But they were cool pleated dresses. I thought they were pretty anyway...)

14. Are you scared of bees?
Bees, are fabulous. Yellow jackets -- suck.

15. How many lurkers do you think you have that read your blog, but never comment? Have you ever been successful at getting them to say hello? Do you mind the lurking? Are you a lurker? Or do you try and comment every time you visit?
I know I have lurkers, but I've never tried to get anyone to say hi - because no one should feel pressured to. I write for me -- it's an outlet and a great way to keep in touch with people who want to keep in touch with me. I'm not typically a lurker - I generally comment if I visit. Sometimes I can't or don't have time to, but I try.

16. Desktop or laptop?
Both -- but my laptop is strictly for superficial work and web surfing. My desktop is a workstation -- love it.

17. What is your favorite kind of cheese?
All kinds!!! Seriously!! C'mon, you're asking the girl who has a wine & cheese shop!

18. What is the oldest thing you own?
Hmmm. I'd have to think about that one.... I still have clothes from about 12 years ago; I also have my grandmother's emerald and G's grandmother's watch.

19. How did your car get that little scratch/dent?
Um, you mean that hole in my bumper?? Ask my sister....

20. Which would you rather do: the dusting or the vacuuming?
I love it all.... vacuuming & dusting. I'll do it all, so long as my house smells pretty & fresh afterwards!

Is the moon in retrograde or something?

Because Princess Petunia, who...on a good day is high strung and oh-so-tempermental...has been having bad days, the last two. Especially today.

I mean she's high speed, no drag and crazy dramatic/moody in general - but wow. Today has been full tilt on the up-down, up-down.

Anyone else with little girls experiencing the same "far too young for PMS but holy crap it's gotta be hormonal" types of things with their little ladies?

Once you choose hope, anything's possible. ~Christopher Reeve

1. Do you know how much I love, love, love my job? Seriously. Love it. Today, I was happy to to sample 7 new wines from Southern France that are really just delicious and I can't wait to introduce everyone to them. How great is that?? How often do you get to work in a place where you love the product, and truly enjoy what you do? Not often, and I'm beyond thrilled to have taken the leap....

2. I love chocolate pudding. Okay, so that's not a huge revelation but I don't eat it very often and I'm eating it right now as I post -- and it just brings me back to being a kid. It's decadence and indulgent - and I'm loving it. I might even have another....

3. Wondering why I often struggle making steak. So tonight for dinner I made a delicious NY Sirloin Strip - or rather it should've been delicious. Actually, I probably should've George Foreman grilled it - but I didn't. I was going to pan fry it which often is a great way to cook it, but instead I used a grill pan. The end result: while cooked to a perfect medium, it was tough and chewy and dry. Aagh....

4. Not loving the fact that hope is something that my Mother finds difficult to grasp and hold on to. She wants it.... she has it, sort of. I can't force her to choose to fight; but truly, any fight isn't easy and there needs to be recognition of that. Life isn't always convenient, nor easy. I doubt that anyone living with Cancer or who is a survivor would say their chemotherapy slice of life was a fabulous one; but it was worth the effort in the long run. "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." ~Winston Churchill

5. Not living up to my resolution of getting to the doctor just yet... and truly, I need to. Did you know that people who have an immediate family member that has Lung Cancer has a 50% chance of having it as well? I did not know that.... oh, and if you're a non-smoker, it's 20% higher. And if you're a woman - it's even higher. At that rate, I'm at like - 80% risk!! That can't possibly be true... and yet, it's from the Cancer Society. How's that for a big WTF....

And those are the few thoughts running around my tired brain for today. There's lots more I could've addressed regarding politics, sports and criminals -- but there's so much of that going on in the mainstream today, I thought maybe something a little more frivolous should be on deck from this girl.

Until next time.....

I feel pretty....oh so pretty....

And yet, I'm so very sad.

I spent the day with one of my girlfriends and we visited the oh-so-shiny happy place, Sephora.
Except.... I find out that my very favorite mascara, is no longer being carried by them.
Excuse me??

Do they know how long it took me to find the perfect mascara?
And now, I dont' even know where to find it!

So, I settled on this one. Shu Uemura which does seem to be fabulous based upon what I tried today, but the truth will come out tomorrow when I use it on fresh lashes.

Additionally, I found a new perfume I love love love... BVLGARI Omnia is one of my very favorites (thank you ever so much J), and Hanae Mori is always my first choice -- but BVLGARI Crystalline might have to be the Springtime parfum of choice.

Oh, and I did get myself a brand spanking new bottle of Lip Fusion...
It's that perfect sheer yet matte shine that I'm entirely addicted to.

Sometimes it's just fun being a girl.

Once you try to control or discipline your anger, then eventually even big events will not cause anger.

I'm a control freak. I admit it.
But I am with regards to things directly impacting me, such as my performance in life.
The serenity prayer has nothing to do with alcoholism for me -- it's all about finding the balance.

At the same time, I don't necessarily try to control other people. I'm perfectly fine with not being the smartest person in the room. I don't criticize others who have a difficult time understanding something that might be common sense to me. I don't make someone else uncomfortable if they are doing something I don't particularly want to do.

No one likes a bully.
And some people just don't get that.

Call any vegetable and the chances are good, Aw... The vegetable will respond to you

Seriously, I think I could be a vegan.

Well, except for the fact that I love red meat too much....that could be a slight problem.

But what I mean is that I love eating vegetables -- especially when they're roasted. It's amazing how hearty they are, especially when they're warm, and seasoned with olive oil., honey and good sea salt. Even turnips taste better when they've got a little baking love going on. Vegetables no matter how I have them, are fabulous - but there's something really yummy about how everything just tastes so good from the oven. Maybe it's a "comfort" trigger for me....the house smells good when the oven is on, I love cooking - which all in of itself is a comfort trigger.

I know I'm rambing, but I just can't wait to eat my dinner tonight which will feature.....you got it.....roasted vegetables.

The light in me, bows to the light in you...

I miss yoga.

Terribly.
Without a doubt, I am going back to my mat next week.

I miss how pure and clean my system and body feel afterwards....
I miss the way certain poses make me feel like I'm a ballerina or gymnast.
I miss the strength that's gained; I miss the strength of the practice itself.

It's a workout and internal therapy session all at once and there is nothing else like it.

Namaste.

Music keeps me snapping my fingers, music keeps me tapping my toes....

Oh yeah baby... it's back.
And in Boston.

It's American Idol..... and I'm sorry, but I love love love this show.
Though I'm not really digging the concept of Ellen Degeneres.

Listen, I love her -- she's one of the few comedians (or is it "comedienne". Actually, I think it is. But, would she prefer "comedian" for the whole non-gender point. Things that make you go "hmmm"....but, I digress.) that can make me laugh until I cry. But is she for Idol? I get that she thinks that she's got a pulse on the general consensus of what America likes, but that wasn't Paula's role....Paula while not the most talented singer in the world definitely knows the business and has an ear for talent. But just being the warm fuzzy wasn't her only role, not by a long shot.

I have a great ear for music and talent. Without doubt.
But should I be the third "judge" on American Idol?
No, I think not.
(though, I would love the gig!)

America votes by phone, so really -- why do we need Ellen there? Shouldn't it truly be someone better suited?

Just sayin'.

What I'd like to say....

ala, Stewie Griffin.
He's far more witty than I.


"Ha ha ha! Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And, and yet you've taken that and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. That's so fresh too. Any, any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me too as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. God you're so funny!"

*sigh*

Things I'm looking forward to in the very near future....

A massage. Hot power yoga (Namaste). Shopping for fun things, like mascara and lip gloss and boots. Going to a grown up movie. Having time to catch lunch with some of my friends of whom I miss dearly. Going to a Red Sox game. Running a 5k. Going to NYC and seeing a play.

What are you looking forward to?

So funny to think about now....

So, tonight we're watching that show "I get that alot" where celebrities pretend to be regular people working regular jobs and whenever a person says, "do you know you look like....(fill in the blank)" they respond with "I get that alot". Pretty flipping funny concept actually.

Anyway - G and I were talking about what celebrities we may have been thought to look like in the past. Which got me thinking about when I auditioned for the Charlies Angels spinoff back in 1988 - aptly named "Angels 88". I made it to the top 5 in Boston in a cattle call (ugh, hate that term) and lost out to Tea Leoni. While I don't think that she and I look alike at all -- I do see why at that time -- she and I might have been in a group together, if they were going for a certain look. This photograph of the selected girls "Angels 88" -- which never made it off the ground -- shows a resemblence between she and I that I can definitely see in retrospect.


(She's the one at the bottom.)
Boy, was I disappointed I didn't win that audition. But, I made it further than I'd ever expected - and I wasn't 18, and they were adamant you had to be 18. Who knew I'd make the top 5? Not me!

Besides, I wouldn't be here today.
And I'm pretty happy with where I'm at.

All I can say is...."oh, my."

So, after much talk of hearing about this god-awful show on MTV -- I gave Jersey Shore a whirl.
Seriously?!?!
Seriously.

How sad is it that I can't wait for the next episode?
Partly out of the fact that I'm just waiting for the insanely stupid things to come out of their mouths at any given moment; and partly because it's unbelievable to see how serious these people are and have no clue at how poorly they truly come off. I'm in awe at some of the comments and phrases they say. It's hysterical.

Speaking of hysterical and foolish, I can not wait for American Idol to come back!!
And it's starting on January 12th -- and Boston is one of the stops, so I can only imagine....

It's these television guilty pleasures that make life more enjoyable sometimes.
Wouldn't you agree?

There are 364 Unbirthdays, precisely why we're gathered here to cheer....

You Are a Winner

You tend to find yourself lucky - both in business and in life. And while being wealthy is nice, you enjoy sharing your abundance with others. You put your luck to good use: you are very ambitious and goal oriented. Often times, you get over excited and take on more than you can manage. Your strength: Your ability to make your own luck Your weakness: Thinking you can do it all Your power color: Bronze Your power symbol: Half Moon Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Gray skies are gonna clear up -- Put on a happy face...

So here's a thought that made my whole day: pitchers and catchers report in 46 days.

Today's the last day of Christmas Break for the kiddies. They're begrudgingly getting ready to get bathed and ready for bed to get back into the routine of every day life that starts up again tomorrow. Truthfully, I'm a little sad to see it end myself; only because it can be such a struggle in the morning sometimes.

I haven't mentioned my Mother's diagnosis much since the appointment. My father is flying back tomorrow while my mother will be staying with me while arranging for chemo treatment with Dana Farber. Hopefully they'll be able to shrink her sites enough to change her Stage and potentially either make it something she can manage or remove. But that's thinking a bit ahead, truthfully. At this point the main objective is just to stunt the growth. If they shrink -- well, that's gravy! If it works and the growths stunt or shrink -- then her prognosis will be far better. It's just going to take a cycle to determine if it's chemo resistant or not. It's seemingly on her organs rather than inside of them -- which is a small window of opportunity that she has in stopping it. In Florida, they told her it was inside her organs -- and that there was no hope. Which, we know now isn't true. The difficult part is -- how do you force a person to fight, or to choose life??? Sounds crazy, but truly -- she's not convinced she wants to live. Can you imagine? She's not even sick! No symptoms, just a little muscle back pain -- and she's given up on life. Truthfully, it's just the inconvenience of chemo that she doesn't want -- which is just heartbreaking when there are so many people who would give everything they own for a chance to have a second "window of opportunity" in treatment. It's frustrating, irritating and annoying all at once -- but at some point, I have to say "hey -- it's not my life." To me, personally -- dying is pretty flipping inconvenient and uncomfortable too - but eh, what do I know? God knows I have a ton to live for and couldn't imagine not having the intestinal fortitude to fight the good fight. But clearly, we all are different.... So, that's the latest on that - basically.

I love this time of night in the winter. It's early....but so dark. The fire place is going, candles are lit - the lights are still on from Christmas (no, not the tree -- the house lights); I can still smell my Sunday dinner even though we finished hours ago -- and everything is just so cozy and warm. I've got a nice glass of wine in my hands....the kids are playing Wii before hitting the bath and for now -- at this moment -- life is good.

I like it this way.

Feeling ambitious -- setting goals.

The beginning of the year is when I really try to get organized. Sometimes, especially in a year such as the one that just left -- when life is very hectic towards the end, it's hard to clean house so to speak, and reorganize. I can't function when things aren't organized; and the funny thing is that I'm not nearly as organized as I need to be/want to be but I've learned that sometimes you just have to step back. It's okay.... though I still cringe when the "junk drawer" in the kitchen is a disaster just a day after I've organized it. My cabinets aren't nearly as organized as I want them to be -- I have the overwhelming want to have my house look like something out of "Real Simple". But the reality of it is that -- well, it can't. I have two children who are anything but organized, a husband who has no concept of tidiness though he's exceptionally organized -- and we actually live in this house. We use it, eat/play/live in it -- it's not staged for a magazine.
These are the things I grapple with.

Anyway, so I've given a little thought to my resolutions for this year; they're always very manageable, attainable goals. I've always felt it unrealistic to set exorbitant goals on things that may not get done in a probable manner. So I set a few, short and realistic goals and if I keep them (which I typically do....sometimes) then that's great. If not -- well, they're not earthshattering so that's okay as well.

So I now present to you this girl's list of resolutions for 2010:

1. Go to the doctor. Yes, I'm overdue for a general physical and with the recent turn of events with my mother and the big C -- her prognosis while better than the day before Christmas Eve is still not as good as we'd hoped it would be; and there's always the possibility for genetic and hereditary passing of it so...for my own piece of mind, it's probably best to be proactive on the medical curve.

2. Back to yoga and running. That needs no explanation.

3. Get back to reading. G got for Christmas a book that's piquing my interest and so I think I'm going to start it. It's Tim Donaghy's Blowing the Whistle. I don't know what I'll read after that one, but at least I'm interested in reading it. I'd even like to get back into a book club if I can find the time.

That might be it -- for now anyway. I'm always working on improving myself -- and I will forever be a work in progress. But for now, in the short term - these are the goals I'm setting for myself for this year, and I think I should be able to keep them.

What are your goals for this upcoming year?

We drank a toast to innocence....we drank a toast to now....

A season of change; a transition of time....a celebration of a new year.
A way to shed the baggage of the year previous and seek hope and solace in the youth of the future.

This past year was a difficult one for just about everyone I know; it's a blessing and a relief to see 2009 move on. I have hope that 2010 will be better, because truthfully -- I don't know that it can go anywhere but up for most.

So this year as I raised my glass (filled with Graham Beck Brut...delish!) I toast 2009 as it moves outwards and onwards -- and embrace 2010 with open arms:

"On a long journey of human life, faith is the best of companions; it is the best refreshment on the journey; and it is the greatest property.”

May your upcoming year be filled with laughter, love, happiness and health. May you be surrounded by those you love - and who love you in return. Let your heart be free and light, and in return your load in life will seem lighter.

Live, love, laugh....and be well.

I raise my glass to you....and to the potential the future holds for us all.