I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,while people behind me are going insane...

Dear Mr. Ignorant Mercedes Driver,

Thank you ever so much for boxing me into my parking spot this morning. As you saw me try to squeeze between our cars to get to my driver door, once you realized that I couldn't and had to walk behind your car to get into mine - one would think that might be a tip off to back your car up. Especially since you had your door open and your leg sticking out so that I had to walk around you into oncoming traffic, that would've been the least you could do.

Oh no though; you thought it best to leave your vehicle - keeping me so tightly boxed in my parking spot that I couldn't move out of it. Yes, I know that it would've killed you to move into the parking space one ahead of me because then you wouldn't have been directly in front of Starbucks; you felt it far more important to be in half a parking space so that you could run in and get what I am convinced was probably a caramel mocchiato frappucino or something equally fou fou.

Yes, you little girly man are the epitome of what I've learned to expect from those who drive these cars; you continue to carry the torch for every person who thinks that it's not just a car - it's an entitlement. I hope to God I see you again tomorrow... I won't be quite so nice as to just look at you in amazement.

I've got one word for you buddy....and it's from a Denis Leary song.

Riddle me this Batman....

I just drove through 5 states this past week: Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey & Pennsylvania. And I mean literally through all of them; coming home, we came an entirely different way which took us through a completely different area of New York than the way we came in, which was through the city.

Do you know that there were more tolls, and for more money - over a shorter distance, no less -- in Massachusetts? No word of a lie. The shortest distances travelled were the most expensive in my own state. Why is that?

Did I mention that our roads were in the worst condition? Right......
What are the tolls paying for anyway??? The Big Dig Fiasco, that's still one of the worst looking eye sores in all of history? The faulty tiles that killed innocent passengers in the tunnel? State employees wages?

Anyone..? Anyone...?
Bueller.......?

So, here's a thought....

I got an automated phone call from our school's superintendent asking parents to attend a Cyber-bullying meeting. It seems that some of the middle school and high school kids set up a page to specifically target a particular student and a teacher -and so the school wants the parents to be aware of what is happening in the cyber universe. Kudos to the school system for getting involved and being pro-active in this type of activity. Unfortunately, they have to be in this day and age given the cruelty that has led to unfortunate teenage deaths.

However.... my school of thought on this topic is......
What the heck are middle school and even high school kids doing on Facebook?!!?

Call me crazy, but I just don't think social media is meant for children. Engines such as MySpace and Facebook, are practically obsessions for mature, non-bullying adults (oh, and trust me - it seems like there's lots of adult drama out there as well, but generally speaking....), so why would anyone think it's okay for a child to be able to spend their time on these sites?

Don't children have better things to do than sit on a website? Shouldn't they be out and socializing in "real life" than in the virtual one? Isn't there more for kids to do than be busybodies? Shouldn't we be teaching our children to be kind, compassionate, hardworking, and socially adept? Between cell phones and social networking -- there is no space between people anymore. You can't "cool off" after an argument; there is no "I"ll see you tomorrow" and actually look forward to seeing someone because there is that incessant texting, or Instant Messaging. How healthy do we really think that is for young people? Because this girl thinks not so much.

Truthfully, I think our responsiblity as parents has to start with us - as parents. Lead by example -- our children will have the same concepts of what is acceptable behaviour based upon what they see at home; children learn what the live. That means no texting at the dinner table; being able to watch television together as a famly without the laptop being on and constantly checking Facebook notifications; showing our children that life is about living - and not constantly being driven by the social networking circle --which is truly not very social at all.

There is a time and a place for everything; and truthfully, with bad there is also good. Social networking does have it's place in society, and holds value when used in the right context -- but it's not meant for children; monitoring their pages is a laughable attempt at control -- you can't monitor the places that they post, or the things that they say outside of their page. But by not allowing them to run rampant online -- they may think twice about their behaviour in general. There's a bravado when hiding behind a lap top -- not so much in person. Force them to be accountable for their actions in person, and most importantly -- to be a person -- rather than an icon or photo or status update on a page. Teach them to be defined by their actions - not by how many "friends" they have online.

Bullying will always be a problem; it always has been. Sometimes, there are just mean kids. But Cyber-bullying, in my opinion -- is completely a byproduct of lazy parenting.

That my friends, is what has to be fixed otherwise it will never, ever end.

Once you try to control or discipline your anger, then eventually even big events will not cause anger.

I'm a control freak. I admit it.
But I am with regards to things directly impacting me, such as my performance in life.
The serenity prayer has nothing to do with alcoholism for me -- it's all about finding the balance.

At the same time, I don't necessarily try to control other people. I'm perfectly fine with not being the smartest person in the room. I don't criticize others who have a difficult time understanding something that might be common sense to me. I don't make someone else uncomfortable if they are doing something I don't particularly want to do.

No one likes a bully.
And some people just don't get that.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz...

Not really.

(Disclaimer: the following is not meant to offend anyone who visits here and happens to own the aforementioned vehicle. It is however, something that utterly amazes and surprises me without fail, every time it happens. I don't classify all owners of such vehicles truly... I'm not going all Joe Wilson or Sabrina Williams or Kanye on everyone. This is only a rant. XOXO)

Why is it that every time a person cuts me off, almost sideswipes me -- or incessantly pursues another individual's backend on the highway, they're in a Mercedes?

Without fail, it's always a Benz.

Is it a pre-requisite that you are an A-hole in order to own one?
Just askin'.....

If it ain't broken.....please don't fix it!

So, I understand that the kids that run Facebook want to "own" what we put out there.
And while I disagree with it, whatever -- it is what it is. Once you place something on the internet for everyone to see, it's not really "yours" anymore anyway. I highly doubt anyone is going to use the photos of my family and I to make any money. They're not exactly professional stock photos. So, I can deal with that.

What I can't deal with -- is the new layout. It makes my head hurt everytime I open it. The font's too large -- I feel like everyone is yelling. There's no real clear dissemination of information on my Wall page versus my "Home" page. My status updates are no longer separated in style from the comments that people place on my Wall. The Home page is busy, confusing and hard to follow. Truthfully, I don't like seeing everyone's conversations; you only get to see pieces of them and then you want to see the rest - and truly, it's none of my business. If they wanted to include me in their conversations, they would!

It's become more like Twitter in a very ugly and inconvenient way -- which, note to the creators of Facebook -- I left Twitter because I don't like it's format, or the lack of personal, one-on-one interactivity. Facebook was a far better networking product. (Note the past tense.) Performance is down, notifications are sluggish at best -- and it's painful to look at it. Aesthetically speaking -- it's awful; and the usability has gone for relatively simple to mind boggling.

What was the point?
What the heck were they thinking?!?!

Birds of a feather flock together....

Or psychos, as the case may be.

Scott Peterson, that complete waste of human life and taxpayers' dollars -- is reaching out to Casey Anthony.
Whatever could he possibly be saying?

"Hey, hat's off to you -- you did a far better job of disposing your daughter than I did with my wife! Hey, you're kind of cute...Too bad we can't hook up, but since we're both "otherwise occupied", I guess it's just letters eh?"

Interestingly enough, Casey and Laci (I cringe having to put his innocent wife's name in the same sentence as her's....to make matters worse, their names together sound like they're an X rated version of the Doublemint Twins!) look relatively similar enough to pique the convicted killer's interest.

I'd post a photo to show you, but truly - I can't bear the thought of contributing to the publicity that either of these clearly self indulgent narcissistic animals long for.

Everything about Caylee just completely saddens me to no end. And while there are so many tragedies that befall children everywhere -- there's something about this case that strikes such a chord within.

I'm sure that it has to do with the fact of it being a mother who is supposed to have the innate sense to protect her child, didn't just fail miserably at doing so -- but literally preyed upon her, even if only after the fact.

I do believe in my heart of hearts this was an accidental death; I don't think she intentionally set out on killing her daughter. I think she was premeditating sedating her daughter so she could have freedom while she "on her own". (Code for "was fighting with her mother"). I have to have some semblance of hope that the young woman we've seen in all of those photographs with her little girl don’t lie. They all point to a girl who loved her daughter.

But her actions after the fact, clearly paint the portrait of a woman who's so selfish, self centered, and spoiled -- that she doesn't feel that she has to be responsible or accountable. And while I do believe that the death itself may have been accidental, her actions to me afterwards are entirely justifiable of the death penalty.

I can a person snapping and going into denial if they've accidentally hurt someone; I can even see blocking it out. Shutting down to feel no pain. But to cover and hide..to lie and manipulate. To not help but to hinder -- all points to a person who can't have regrets because there's no sense of reprucussions.

She doesn't even seem to care about being in jail; I'm sorry but if that was me and I was wrongly accused of something, I'd be pulling my hair out trying to prove my innocence. If someone "stole" my child, I'd be begging and pleading with anyone who would listen.

We all know she is the cause behind that beautiful little girl's death.
And I just pray to God that her body is found.
Caylee needs to have a proper burial, and to be finally at rest.
She deserves that.

Maybe then I'll be able to stop thinking about her....her life being snuffed away by the very person who should've protected her has haunted me. This baby who I've never met -- but yet feel as if I had -- has captured my heart.

And thankfully, I'm not the only one who feels that way.

Yes, so going back to that torture concept....

Something just isn't clicking right in this case; there's forensic evidence to support foul play - yet the authorities won't call it a murder investigation. What is holding them back from doing that is really piquing my curiousity and frustrating me at the same time.

The bounty hunter that released her on bond is revoking it -- and rightfully so. I think he'd hoped to talk to her, "Texas Style" and get the truth from her; yet her defense attorney (I hate to think of them as the lowest forms of life, and yet.....) accepted the money but prevented access to his client.

So how does one get information out of an individual who refuses to cooperate with the authorities?

My God, even Susan Smith cracked after a couple of days -- and she's one of the most cold hearted women I've ever had the displeasure to know about.

What will it take to make Casey Anthony admit what happened to her daughter? And why isn't anyone actively doing anything to make it happen?

Doesn't Caylee deserve at least that much??

God Bless the beasts....and the children.

I believe in the practice of using torture when it comes to finding out information.

This may sound like a harsh tactic -- but hear me out first.

I believe in my heart of hearts, that someone needs to torture Casey Anthony to find out what happened to her daughter. If you inflict enough pain on this woman -- the truth will come out. Forget a hot shower, and a pedicure as a bounty hunter seems to think will work -- because unless that's code for "cruel and unusual punishment" -- I don't think any true information is going to come out.

This is a girl who clearly has no conscience; she's had no culpability or accountability in her life thus far -- and will continue to lead authorities in circles because she knows that she can.

I'm so haunted by this case, and it literally makes my stomach hurt when I watch the news updates of the story unfolding. And while it would be easy for me to turn a blind eye to it all, there's something about little Caylee's face that is just drawing me in. I don't know if it's because there's something about her that is reminding me of my own daughter -- or just the innate sense of wanting to protect her somehow.

In the beginning when this case was first publicized, I really felt that there were enough pieces to the puzzle to think that she'd be alive. My gut felt that maybe the mother had a drug problem, had a debt to pay and said "here, take my kid...". I almost thought it was possible that Caylee might have been sold into the black market -- which while a horrible thing to endure -- at the same time, I thought was better than the alternative. Even while it's been so long that she's been missing -- with no traces of a body to support murder -- and no clear cut evidence (that has been released to the media anyway) that there was a dead body in the car, it almost seemed plausible to think (hope, wish) that maybe she's in another country someplace.

But the truth is, my heart sank the other night when I heard that clothes and a backpack were found in a wooded area.

For a second I rationalized this information, and thought "this would make sense. They'd change her into new unrecognizable clothing..." and I also thought that maybe it would make sense as to why Casey Anthony, her clearly demented mother -- would not be showing signs of grief. If she truly has a reason to believe that her daughter is alive - then that would explain why she's so, unemotional over it all. She's coming across as annoyed - even irritated by everyone trying to find out what the truth is. Of course she'd have to explain why she sold her daughter, but maybe in her twisted mind that's more of an issue than if (God forbid) she was actually dead.

I've seen more emotion come out of heinous child abusers who have killed their children than out of this woman. And none of the details add up. The grandparents are either simply in denial that their daughter is capable of wrong doing -- or it's the exact opposite. My gut tells me that they know their daughter is very capable of doing wrong things, but maybe are in denial that it would go so far as murder.

All I know is that I firmly believe if this young woman is tortured enough (and truthfully, I don't think it would take much to break her) -- she will come clean about where her daughter is.

My heart absolutely aches for this little girl. And while I know that the ending is not going to end up a happy one -- there's still a little flicker of hope inside of me, holding out for one.

Alright...so where are all the "player haters" now?

That’s right. Keep your mouths shut.

This isn’t about being emotionally attached to certain players – this is about being realistic. There are many players on this team that I really love to watch, but let’s face it – they’re interchangeable. There are very few players on this Red Sox team that you can say you can’t get the same return on investment should you trade them. The two players that I feel are invalueable to this team are Manny Ramirez, and naturally – Jason Varitek.

Over the last few days, there has been so much chatter in the media about why these two shouldn’t be re-extended. And truthfully the arguments pale in comparison against those as to why they should be re-extended. I’m not an “expert” in the field, so clearly I may not express them all, but I can share my school of thoughts on it. Maybe Manny is 36; 36 is the new 26. He’s in great shape, he’s clearly not slowing down any (I’m sorry, his “slump” was really nothing to be called that) – and truthfully I’d rather have Manny on my payroll growing older – than have to face against him. Name one player that would be worth the trade. I can’t think of any. (Ugh, and please, don’t get me started on the Barry Bonds issue because this is one girl who would never cheer for him if he was in a Sox uniform. But I digress….)

And as far as the Captain is concerned, I’ve said it time and time again to those who try to say he’s “not worth it”, or “he’s breaking down”. I don’t see the breakdown. Do I see he doesn’t hit as well as before – sure, he’s inconsistent on his batting. His numbers have gone down in that respect. But that’s not his sole responsibility. He’s not a utility player. He’s the catcher – he calls a game like no body else does. I’m sorry, how many no hitters are under his belt? One hitters? Never mind the fact that he brings so many other intangibles to the table, the Red Sox organization would absolutely be foolish not to sign him. I would think it’s the terms of length of time that might be contentious as opposed to the actual signing. But they’ll work it out I’m sure. (Another “ugh” with regards to his agent which is a subject that I will not digress on at the moment…)

We’ve all seen organizations build their teams around a particular player…more often than not, it will be a pitcher. But in this girl’s opinion, there are three players on this team that you can build a team around. That’s not to say that the other’s aren’t fantastic at what they do – but it is what it is. And those three players are Josh Beckett, Manny Ramirez, and Jason Varitek.

Agree or disagree, the choice is yours. But that’s my story – and I’m sticking to it.

Guess I'm just the vengeful type...

There is a growing epidemic in society, and it’s becoming progressively worse.

It’s called Murder.

I know I’ve written many a rant regarding abuse towards children, but today I’m going to exclude that from my topic list. That in of itself is so abhorrent that it warrants it’s own topic; and I’m sure there will be yet another horrific crime that will trigger one of those rants from me at some point in the future. But today’s topic of disgust is focused around adults. Clearly, divorce just isn’t an option anymore.

1. James Keown poisons his wife with anti-freeze. Ah yes, now there’s a creative one. Hard to trace…difficult to truly have a “smoking gun” with, right? Unfortunately, his actions speak loud enough considering there were enough lies and financial woes to show that there was motive (oh, and admitted interest in investing in a sports car) for insurance money. Poor girl, going to Harvard and working full time – gets poisoned to death by the person she thought loved her?? I’m so looking forward to seeing the conviction come out of this case.

2. Neil Entwistle and his defense team are absolutely insane. I’m sorry, they want a jury of my peers to believe that this woman shot both her infant daughter – and herself -- and then proceeded to get up, put the gun away, avoid dripping blood from her fatal wounds all over the room – and then reposition herself back in bed with the baby and peacefully pass onto the afterlife. Seriously?!?! Clearly they think we’re smoking the same crack that good ol’ Neil is smoking.

3. Scuba Diver and Certified Rescue Diver Gabe Watson just lets his newlywed wife Tina sink to the bottom of the ocean, waving off others trying to help – all for the insurance money. He thought he had the perfect crime; and here this girl was thinking she was marrying the love of her life, the very person who should protect her and care for her all the days of her life. Just a couple of weeks before the wedding he asked her to increase her life insurance policy. Who thinks of these things?!!?!? Especially when you’re planning to get married! That is not the time to be thinking of that…. Maybe if you have children, and life is getting on and you want to ensure that your family is taken care of down the road, but not at this juncture!! And then, to add to insult to injury – at her father’s suggestion – the girl lies to her husband to be – and says she took care of it and increased the policy. The joke is sort of on him – he killed his bride, and she hadn’t increased it. But the guilt her poor father is feeling right now is just awful. However, if he didn’t do it then – rest assured he’d have done it later. It truly turns my stomach.

There are many more cases, but these are just the three at the top of my mind for today. Since when isn’t divorce an option? Is money that important? And if so, here’s a thought for you: WORK for it. INVEST. Truly, a million dollars today isn’t the same as it was a few years ago – and isn’t a person’s life invalueable?!?!

These are just some of the many reasons why I whole heartedly support the death penalty. I don’t believe in forgiveness in some cases. I don’t believe there are people who deserve it. And I truly do not think that God will forsake me for feeling this way.

Random Thoughts for this week....

1. Don't sweat the small stuff. So, today wasn't a great day yet again regarding the company I work for. They aren't aware that my task lead fills me in on all the things they say about me -- and he whole heartedly disagrees. Problem is, he doesn't want to jeopardize his own job that he's trying to get upgraded - so he's hesitatant to speak up. Although, he told me that they were "disappointed" in him for not chiming in against me the other day. And truthfully, he told me its because he disagrees and just doesn't want to get in the middle. I can't say that I blame him.

2. I'm in hyperorganization mode again. I bought utility racks for my garage and entirely cleaned it out and reorganized it. I bought another one today for the gym and plan to stack everything neatly rather than the way it is at the moment. Which really irks me. I also bought an over the door shoe rack for the gym as well because truthfully - I'm tired of looking at shoes and sneakers on the stairs. It looks good, and it's neat! Mission accomplished.

3. So excited for this weekend. I'm taking the kids to the Strawberry Festival at Verrill Farm which is our most favorite farm to go to. We've never been to this festival - just the Tomato and Corn one, and I'm sure it won't dissapoint. Fingers crossed that the weather will cooperate!

4. The countdown has begun for the Beckett Bowl. I can't wait to go. I'm hoping my sister will join me earlier in the evening rather than later. Not that I didn't have fun alone last year - but truthfully, it's so much fun to go with someone else. I'm looking forward to seeing the lineup, and it will be pretty exciting to see if any of the Celtics players go. I cant remember who was there from last year -- I think I saw Paul Pierce, and maybe Glen Davis? But I'm not positive.

5. I'm so missing yoga. I haven't been able to go in almost an month now - and I'm so needing it. I think I need a little good karma, and some OM to brighten my otherwise sort of edgy mood. I've been running a decent amount - I'm going to run the lake in a few minutes actually - but it's not the same doing just running. Physically it isn't the same and certainly not mentally. I'm definitely looking forward to trying to get back into my Tuesday/Friday at a minimum.

And that's all I've got for the moment. I had a great post lined up for today -or at least a funny one -but you know, after talking to my task leader this afternoon, I just wasn't feeling very...frivolous.

Ruminations of the day...

1. Prior to yesterday, my hair was really long. Wicked long, actually. (You know it was long if I revert to "wicked" as an adjective!). To my waist actually. I cut 4.5 inches off of it - and so now it's just long. But wow, it feels so short to me today! I still want to donate to Locks for Love…and I still will -- I'm just not ready to commit to shorter hair at the moment. But I'm quite fortunate in the respect that my hair is thick, and grows like a weed - so I'm sure that by the summer it will be close to where it was yesterday afternoon --and if I'm ready to commit at that point, I'll have more than enough hair to donate. I'm a firm believer in donating to all sorts of causes, and I try to donate to as many as I can regularly; and one that will help women and children when battling with Cancer is one that I just can't let pass by when I'm fortunate enough to be someone who can help in that respect.

2. Wow, is the media all over Brendan Meriweather now with the death of Sean Taylor. Well, the local media here is anyway -- specifically WEEI. I would tend to think that the Patriots did their homework on this kid when they brought him on, and I don't suspect that he'll go all "gangstah" and start shooting people because of his friend's death. Listen, Miami isn't Boston. The college crowds are a little different - the environment, mentality and lifestyles are a little different here than they are in Miami. I'm thinking that while he's probably grieving - he's loving his membership with the best team in the NFL more than he loved the thug life he supposedly was involved with 18 months or so ago.

3. I am really looking forward to this evening's Republican debate. I've gotten the opportunity to see where the Democrats sit on views - so now I'm looking forward to hearing where the Republicans sit. My vote as I've expressed before - is entirely up for grabs. I took this test online, and it said that my views aligned with John McCain at 70%, Rudy Guilani at 59%, Joe Biden at 50% and Hilary Clinton at 48%. Which is interesting because I'm not entirely clear on what the differences are between the candidates themselves. Joe Biden didn't surprise me, I really liked him during the debate. Hilary -- that surprised me quite a bit. But again, the questions that I answered may or may not have been either clearly understood by me -- or they may have been presented in a way to align to one particular candidate -- which wouldn't properly reflect the views that I believe in with a candidate. But that's the thing - I'm more than likely not going to agree with any one particular candidate on everything. So it's almost a call of the "lesser of all evils". I just want someone who truly believes what they say - and won't flop to try to win the vote.

4. I think I've made my thoughts quite clear on child abuse and stories of that nature. The Madeleine McCann case is really an interesting one though. I'm not entirely convinced that the parents had any play in this. I think that they made horribly poor decisions in leaving their children unattended -- what parent does that??? Be that as it may -- something about the way it's all been handled just really doesn't add up. I can't see why two parents who went through years of infertility treatments to conceive their daughter -- would kill her? And why her - and not the other two boys? It just doesn't ring true to me. An acquaintance of mine works for Fox News and has been on location following that story - and is convinced that the family is innocent and the Portugese police is trying to pin it on the family because they really botched the investigation -- starting from the crime scene that night and moving forward. I'm just not sure what to believe. All I know is that I sincerely hope that this story ends with her being abducted as part of a illegal adoption ring and that she's living with some family that's caring for her at the moment. While no one wants to have a child abducted ever -- I'd so much rather have this story end with her alive and healthy, than the alternative -- which we all know is not the happiest of endings.

5. The Novelle of Natick. http://www.boston.com/business/globe/articles/2007/11/28/3br_mall_view/
For those who buy "Manolo's" and don't like to "rough it". Well. My gut reaction was "wow, what a great concept for condos - I'm openly envious." But then reading the quotes from the clearly pretentious couple who was interviewed for this article, all I can say is "thank GOD I'm not a member of THAT condo association." This couple clearly needs to get over themselves. Because honestly, I'm a 30 something who while I don't actually own a pair of Manolos -- can afford to buy a pair and just choose not to. But that doesn’t make me above the rest of the people who live in Boston. There are places to go outside of the college bars in town, and it sounds to me as if Miss Thing in here - goes to the wrong places just to show the world that she "buys Manolos". Seriously sister. This girl is just not impressed.

Blogging Taboo....

So the "powers that be" on base have now blocked all blogs from being able to be viewed online.

I suppose it was only a matter of time – they seem to block everything else – why not blogs too?

I mean, between websites that have FLASH pages, Javascript menus – and heaven forbid – emails from POP3 servers; why should we be able to have other external access to the world?
Even Wikipedia is now blocked.

WTF?!?
Who blocks Wikipedia?!?!

But you know..... work is only Hell with fluorescent lighting.
(Grabbed that funny little line from an email chain Glitter sent – and I’m adopting it as my own personal anthem).

So my rose colored glasses are a little foggy this morning...

Ah yes. Things are bugging me today.

1. People who stir the pot. Some people just can’t let things go, or leave them be. Why cause trouble where there isn’t any? Drives me crazy when people create chaos where there isn’t any. I have no use for drama. And the mere fact that I’ve let someone like that affect my thoughts right now irritates me. I know better than that. I should just laugh it off, and think about how sad it must be to go through life constantly being caught up in drama. Clearly, I need a good cup of coffee – and maybe a handful of MnM’s to help me laugh it off.

2. The conditions of the ladies rooms in this place is horrifying. Really, horrifying. I couldn’t imagine how people I work with keep their homes! I have public restroom issues as it is – but some of the people I work with, I’m convinced – are animals.

3. Personalities that “bounce”. Highs that are high – and lows that are low, with very little in between. Why can’t there just be a happy medium? Even keeled and smooth, so that I don’t have to guess what mood I’m going to encounter. But wouldn’t that be refreshing!

4. I’m a little ticked about this working group I’m on at the moment. It’s a redundancy of work, effort, and truly – it’s a waste of time. I have very little tolerance for business concepts that don’t make sense, and this is one of them. Where’s that change of jobs I was hoping for?? I had really hoped that by now I’d have heard something from some of the offices I submitted to, but with the contract recompete going on, I guess everything is just up in the air at the moment. I’ve received lots of positive “yes, we’d love to have you”, so I guess I just need to find some patience.

So for me, this is one of those “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change....” kinds of days. (and no – it’s not hormonally based!) And.... maybe a good run after work to make me sweat all these feelings away.

She was still just a girl...

So, I'm home sick today - got probably one of the worst cases of food poisoning I've ever had. I had a great night last night, went to yoga - came home and ate my dinner. A little steak and chicken over salad w. white vinegar dressing. (Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick just thinking about it!!) Anyhow - nothing really for one to get sick over. But, I've been violently ill since about midnight. No drama here....truly violently ill. I tried to get myself into the shower earlier to think about coming in late - and there was no way. I'm too weak, too nauseous, too sick.

I'm not really even up for watching television, I've been drifting in and out of sleep; this moment here as I type is probably the most energy I've had. And the inspiration for my getting my sick butt out of bed to post on my little blog, is the chaos that I've been listening to called the "Anna Nicole Smith Burial Trial". What a fiasco! The judge is an absolute idiot, and I've never seen such disregard for respect and restraint in a courtroom, nor seen it encouraged by the presiding judge.

I don't care how messed up this girl was. I don't care who she slept with or didn't sleep with. I don't care who the father of her child is. What's most important is that this poor girl who's life was troubled when she was alive - is put to rest. Where she wanted to be placed, next to her son. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to know that was what she wanted. For any of the other parties who think they're involved to be involved, including her mother -is absurd. Take away the celebrity, the drama and the chaos - and she was just a plain old girl, stumbling her way through life. Not making the best or right decisions always - if ever. But that doesn't entitle people to try to "own" her life now that she's gone.

Who cares if Howard K Stern isn't the baby's father? He's clearly the only one in the bunch that loved Anna no matter how big she was, how messed up she was or wasn't - and is clearly the only one who would have the wherewithall and want to raise a child who's clearly going to have a difficult time ahead of her. And he should be the one who's looked to as the sole communication of what Anna Nicole Smith would or wouldn't want.

And now if you excuse me - I think I'm going to go throw up.
Literally.

Not subscribing to the "Burger King" concept?

So, I run to the Dunkin Donuts on base a little while ago to grab a wheat bagel and a cup of coffee. First off, before I even place my order I give the woman my credit card and my Patriots Dunkin card so that it can be recharged. I could’ve done it online ahead of time, but I really wanted to see if they had any new Red Sox cards in stock yet. (Yup, I’m really moving on from football.) So I asked the girl if they had any instock and she sort of snorts and says “Um, no” in a sort of chippy way. I thought “Hmmm. Maybe not a Sox fan...?”. Anyway, she says to the person behind me after I sign the card: “Can I help you?” Huh? I wasn’t done yet! I just put money on my card, wouldn’t you ask me if there’s anything else I’d like? So, I said “oh, I’m sorry – I wanted to get coffee too.” So, she loudly sighs (because clearly - I’m imposing upon her) and sends the person to the woman next to her who was smack in the middle of helping someone else.

So now I’m thinking, “okay, this woman is having a bad day.” So I give her a big smile and place my coffee order – which as we all know, is one that unless I’m a regular customer of yours – or you buy it for me regularly – needs to be written down. She looks at me blankly when I place it and says “can you repeat that?”, which of course I did. Then she asked me to repeat it again...I could see her trying to register it, but it wasn’t quite getting there. So, after I joked (like I always do) about how it’s a “very busy coffee” – she picked up the black pencil and starts to write the specifics on the cup as I’m saying it for the third time.

Now, she’s off to make my coffee - but I’m no fool...I’m watching her to make sure she’s doing it right. And wouldn’t you know, even though it’s written down in front of her, she takes cream and pours it into the cup. “Oh, I’m sorry – not cream, milk please – extra milk” is what I interrupted her with. And she loudly sighs and sort of snidely says “no, you said – you said extra cream”. Okay, I’ve been known to make mistakes in my life time. But trust me on this one – I no way, no how said extra cream. So I said, “No, I’m sorry – I’m allergic to cream...(big lie) I need milk please.....I’m pretty sure you wrote that on the cup." (she did.)

Good thing she threw it out, because she had written it on a medium cup.
Imagine the horror I would’ve faced when and if I asked for it to be in a large cup instead?
(In a large cup, medium hazelnut/coconut – extra milk and 4 splenda is the traditional coffee order)
Clearly, I’d have been wearing my coffee.
Which, given the fact that I’m wearing black pants and a white shirt – would not have been a good look.

Just because you're a woman...doesn't make you a Mother!

Last night before bed I was flipping through the channels and heard a story that was “breaking news” with Nancy Grace.

In Orlando, a mother put her 11 month old baby inside of an oven that was set to 450 degrees because she got into a fight with her boyfriend – the baby’s father. Fortunately for the child – the oven wasn’t quite hot enough to burn/cook the child. But clearly – the intent was there.

What?!?!?

I have huge issues with women who do these things to their children. Look, if you don’t want to keep your children because your boyfriend doesn’t love you anymore – or you just don’t want to be a mother anymore, then fine. Drop your kids off on a busy street corner somewhere, in another town – another state, whatever you so choose. They’ll be better off than living with someone who’s contemptuous of their existence. Give them a friend. Drop them off at a church, temple, mosque....what have you. Maybe leave them at a stranger’s house with a note. But don’t kill them! What is wrong with you women?!?!

We all seem to think that as women we have an innate ability to mothering; maybe for most of us that is true. Some people are broken. I just don’t know any other way to put it. There is something that just doesn’t click inside of them when it comes to the concept of nurturing or being kind to creatures weaker than they are – children and animals alike.

I don’t buy into the “Susan Smith” scenario. She was not insane at the time of her murders. She’s a cold blooded, selfish and self centered woman who chose a man over the lives of her children. It sickens me to know that she was not executed – because I believe in her instance, it was warranted. She feels no guilt, no remorse. Prison is not a sentence for her; it’s just a refinement of her lifestyle.

Just as I have no compassion for Karen Robideaux – the mother of a baby that she starved to death because her cult leader husband told her to. I do not subscribe to the theory that she was “brainwashed”. She tried to feed him “behind her husband’s back”. To me, that shows a clear understanding of her actions. She did serve time in jail awaiting trial. While her husband is in prison on a sentence for the child’s death, Ms. Robideaux was judged by a jury of my “peers”, and gave her a $25 fine – a misdemeanor charge – and set free. These were not my peers, I assure you. While I wouldn’t have let her free....I also don’t know that I feel she should have the right to create children. And while that is not something that is under jurisdiction of law – I do agree with the concept of sterilization for sexual predators, and potentially women who murder their children. (Of course, there has to be extenuating circumstances – not a blanket policy for that situation. But I feel each case with regards to the death penalty in general should always be on a case by case basis – and not carte blanche based solely on the charge.)

And yet, I feel compassion for Andrea Yates. The woman who killed all 5 of her children due to her Post Partum Psychosis. Should she have had children once she was diagnosed? Probably not. But this is a true disorder that she was being treated and medicated for. When on the medication, she was fine. Off the medication...well, we know how the story goes. She had a long standing, well documented history of being medicated for depression and psychosis related illnesses. This was a woman who is clearly insane, and who did not make up lies or stories as to what happened to her children to point the finger onto someone else. This is a woman, who never should’ve had more children given her circumstances – yet when treated and felt “normal”, wanted to have a family like most people do. Her case, to me – is a tragedy on all levels.

There are few things in this world more precious than the life of a child. We all start out as children, innocent and wanting nothing more than to be loved. I can’t think of many things in this world that disgust me more, than the tragic injustices and malicious intent that is laid upon children.

Especially when it’s done by the hands of those who were to shelter them and love them.