Stroll down memory lane...

Today was a busy day, running around trying to do a variety of things related to my car and my license. Part of it involved going to the social security office which is located in my hometown.

It was a rather somber experience. Driving into the city, it feels like home. But rest assured, it doesn't look like home anymore. The Square, once filled with stores that were fun to shop in -- and that were half way decent -- are now replaced with junky dollar stores, transient make shift shops and run down businesses. I stopped into a shoe store that I was surprised to see there still; my Nana used to take me there every August for school shoes, because they sold Stride Rite and actually fitted us into them. The owner was still there - and I had to walk inside for a minute. It transported me back in time which was nice...but sad at the same time.

I drove around a bit, drove by the houses I used to live in over the years, and it seems the neighborhoods haven't changed much, but the feel of the city has. It will always be my home, and I will always feel a kinship there. But I don't know that I'm loving the direction in which the community has gone.

Funny how so much can stay the same, and so much has changed.

So here's what is irritating me today...

1.  Alex Rodriguez can take his business elsewhere.  I'm sorry, didn't the Red Sox win the World Series?  So why is it that all day yesterday, ESPN led off their stories regarding baseball with Alex Rodriguez opting out of his contract, and the Steinbrenners' reaction to it? Seriously!  Who cares If Mr April isn't on the Yankees anymore?  All I know is that we won the World Series; he is a jerk for even announcing it to anyone during that time to prevent any supposed "leaks" of information; and Red Sox Nation doesn't want him here.  I'm sick and tired of hearing about him.  Now let's get back to celebrating!

2.  Since when is football a whining sport?  I've never heard so much crying, whining, whimpering and complaining in football in my life.  I thought it was a "man's man" kind of game?  You don't want the Patriots to score on you?  Then bring it!!  Do you want them to take a knee in the second quarter?  Because clearly it seems that everyone who has an opinion on televison seems to think Belicheck needs to send flowers and chocolates to the other team - maybe even kiss them too.  I'm sorry, but we'd been on the losing end for many years and it feels really good to see the Patriots playing so well over the past 6 years.  The Patriots used to be laughed at.  Not so much anymore.   Don't challenge the ability and ethics of a team just because you lose to them -- quit whining and bring your A-game.  Every team has a season - and this season is ours at the moment.

3.  Open work spaces are really beginning to grate on my nerves.  I sit in a quad with three other people, and I really enjoy them and their company.  But I really don't enjoy when someone eats something that smells disgusting.  Especially if it's a fully cooked meal, at like 8:30 in the morning.  I'm sorry, but I don't want to smell reheated bad fish, or garlicky beef stew -- or even a western omelet loaded with onions.  Can't I just enjoy the regular musty, mildewy smell that I've grown accustomed to?  Not only is it disgusting smelling food, but I feel like it lingers!!!  In my hair, on my clothes.  And then the aftersmell is almost worse than while they were eating it.  There has got to be a better way.  Maybe they should eat their food in the break room rather than at their desk.  And I would never say anything to anyone because it isn't anything personal against them - it's just, well - turns my stomach.  But that's my issue.  I'm sure I do things to irritate them at times so it's all a wash, right?

Truthfully, that's all that I'm spun up about today.  Which isn't a bad thing.  It's gorgeous out, and while I'm missing the Red Sox parade, there's always the DVR version that I'll get to watch when I get home.

Happy. Excited. Tired.

So many thoughts this morning, after watching the World Series finale last night.
I went to bed finally at about 2:30, I just was so addicted to watching all the celebration.
It's funny how different winning felt this time, than in 2004.

This time, it was about baseball.
It wasn't about ghosts, or curses. It was about good baseball, good management - and an outstanding team effort.
Every single member of that team contributed when it counted.

And while so many thoughts have run through my head this morning about team trades, and who should stay - and who should be packaged off - I think that should be talk for another day.  Let's revel and enjoy in the glory of this team and this season.  Let's have the offseason begin next week and just appreciate all the players who made it happen this year.  Trust me, I've got lots of thoughts about next season and players trades, but those are conversations for another day.

It is so much fun watching everyone celebrate, and the emotions well up.  It's amazing seeing grown men, become 12 years old again.

I wished I could give my "boyfriend" Jason Varitek a huge hug!!!!!!!!  He was all choked up…gotta love a man comfortable with showing his emotions.

Happy World Series Celebration Red Sox Nation!

Sleepy. Soggy. Saturday.

Yawwwwn.

So, the weather was true to forecast - and soccer was cancelled. Which made it a great day for us to get back into our cozy clothes after dance - and have a fun movie day. I've got the fire going, the house smells of pumpkin pie candles and popcorn; and the kiddies and I are watching movies this afternoon.

Streeeettttccch.

All this sitting around has gotten me thinking of Halloween. I'm going to have to take Wednesday off because I have a ton of things to do with my car: oil change, inspection sticker, Social Security to do a name change - for some reason, they won't allow me to renew my license without one. The bizarre thing is, I already submitted the paperwork - but clearly, there's a federal institution that just can't keep their documents straight. But I digress.... and then of course there's a registry run to renew my license. A sushi date thats long overdue with one of my girlfriends. Busy day - but will have me home early to take the kids trick or treating and get them into costumes.

Which makes me think about my costume this year. I usually go as Rock Star Mom - but this time I think I'm going to go as Witch Mom. You know, witch hat w. feathers - fun dress, boots. I figure, why not? I've been Rock Star Mom for what, 4 years now? Time to change it up a bit while trick or treating.

Yawwwwn. Again.
Time to get back to the sofa, and try to actually sit still and finish watching a movie. It's funny, as relaxing as I try to make the day - the kids get to lounge around but I'm always moving. Cleaning something, cooking something, picking up something. Folding laundry, getting the book I forgot to bring down with me. Always something.

Which reminds me, I'm going to have to find the energy to get a run in later on today. I didn't make yoga - and ended up working out at the gym instead - and I won't get to go to yoga today, so -- a run it is. I downloaded a bunch of new music last night anyway so that should get me motivated.

Hmm. Didn't I just say I want to actually relax?
I need to find a "stop" button.

Best Fill..ever.

So, today one of my girlfriends and I popped out for an early "lunch" and got our nails done.
I got the best fill ever.
They look gorgeous.
I wish I had someplace to go!

Will they last the full two weeks? Beats me.
But they sure look great right now.
And - not very expensive.

Such a fun pick me up for a very tired Friday morning after a late Red Sox game!

So, weekend is looking like this:
Yoga…and then sitting in w. a good book. I'm finishing up Jodi Picoult's "Picture Perfect" before getting started on "Memoirs of a Geisha".

Dance tomorrow morning..and it's looking like Soccer is going to be cancelled due to the weather. So I'll come up with something for for the kiddies to do.
And of course - the Sox.

Sunday - might be a trip back to Salem if the weather cooperates; Patriots at 4….Sox at 8.

I'm really enjoying these sports weekends.
I'm going to be very sorry to see October end…

Just some thoughts about last night...

1. I loved, loved, loved John Williams rendition of the "Star Spangled Banner". I felt like I was listening to a piece of a movie soundtrack. He is a musical genius. I have to say, my favorite soundtrack of all time -- is Jurassic Park. Once that song is in my head, lookout - I'm whistling it all day long.

2. I'm cautiously optomistic about the series. Last night I really almost felt badly for the Rockies - they just looked so mismatched. It really looked like boys playing men. At the same time though, anything can happen…and so I'm really looking forward to tonight to see if last night was just a combination of nerves and fatigue on the part of the Rockies. I happened to hear a blurb on WEEI on my way home last night, and one of the players was interviewed and he sounded a little overwhelmed by all the media attention that was going on. They're clearly not used to playing in a big market like Boston, so the pressure of the media and the scrutiny has got to be tough. I mean, let's be honest -we all know the NL is nothing in comparison to the AL, let alone the Boston market.

3. I'm surprised at how many "Sox haters" there are at the moment. I get that everyone roots for the underdog, but I watched a little ESPN before I left for work this morning and there were a lot of comments for viewers who were really down on the Sox and the Pats alike. That really surprises me -- especially since for I don't know -- 86 years we were the underdog? And it's only been a few years now that the Pats have been on top as well. And I think we're quite gracious and appreciative as fans. Which leads me to the emails from yesterday.

4. The following is my response to the writer from the Tampa Tribune Times from yesterday. After he responded to me, it turns out, he's actually a pretty nice guy with family in this neck of the woods, who are clearly Sox fans -- so this was probably tongue in cheek geared towards his family who more than likely reads his writing. But, he did call out the Nation, so…. Here's the quote he made that prompted me to respond to him via email: "World Series Game 1 8pm Fox – All I have to say is, good luck with those annoying Red Sox fans, Denver. You’ll have to put up with them for at least two games. And go ahead and send your nasty e-mails to the address below, Beantowners – you’re only proving my point!"

*******

Hmmmph. Clearly, I responded.

"Hi Josh,
Funny, I don't think we're any more annoying than the towel waving, face painting Indians fans, no?
Truthfully, I tend to think that we're pretty darn nice, considering that we don't torture the Yankees fans who come visit during the series that are played. And all the other team fans - well, we barely notice they're there.

Is Boston a tough market? Sure. Are we hard on the team when they're winning and when they're losing? Do we think that we're all capable of being a better manager than whomever is in charge at the time? Absolutely. But that's part of our charm. And truthfully, I'm not sure that makes us all that different from fans all across the league - and in all sports in general.

It sounds to me like you've got a bad case of sour grapes, considering that no matter what arena you go to nationwide - there are almost as many Red Sox fans attending as there are home team fans. Especially at Tampa Bay, which we "northerners" lovingly refer to as "Red Sox Nation South".

So sit back, and enjoy the show tonight because it's sure to be a good one. The Rockies are a tough line up, hitters 1-9; and we've got a formidable offense ourselves. Good on both teams on making it this far, because while I can't speak for the Rockies since I'm not a follower of the NL -- I know the Red Sox earned their spot to be there, and I'm sure that Colorado has as well.

Enjoy the series, and careful….sour grapes taste like vinegar and might burn if they go down the wrong pipe. Would hate to see you choke and miss out if Tampa Bay was to make it to the playoffs next year. ;)

Rebecca XXXXXXXXXX
http://supergoddessgirl.blogspot.com
PS: Oh yeah, feel free to send some nasty emails my way as well. I'm sure I can hang with the best of 'em.

Are you ready for some baseball...?

This afternoon, I had a fun little verbal jousting with an editor from the Tampa news. I should've forwarded the emails to myself at home so that I could share them with you, but didn't get the chance to; I will tomorrow though. He threw a fun little dig at Boston baseball fans - Red Sox Nation - and so my Mom who lives in Tampa - felt obliged to share it with me. Since he welcomed email responses, I in turn felt obliged to write. Though he wrote it in good fun, I'll still share it since it was interesting to hear perspective from a non-Red Sox fan. (Is there really such a thing?!?!)

The skies are clearing...and while the air is cold the dampness is leaving and it's turning into a great autumn night in Boston. Perfect for a little World Series ball, wouldn't you agree? You know, I've been thinking all day about how I'm not really up on the NL and don't know a whole heck of a lot about the Rockies, outside of a few bigger name players and even at that - I know little of them. I have heard that their line up is strong with no real weak part of the order, but I haven't heard much about their pitching staff. So I'm very interested to watch the at bats tonight and hopefully get a feel for the team.

A little sushi...a little spicy seafood soup...and a long night of baseball.
What a great way to break up the week!

What sport are you meant for?? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Baseball You should play baseball, the true American sport. There's lots of positions to choose from, but the most important are pitcher and **catcher. Baseball 67% Track 67% Volleyball 50% Softball 33% Ice Hockey 17% Lacrosse 17% Field hockey 17% Tennis 17% Football 17% Soccer 8% Basketball 0% Golf 0% Swimming 0%

**Well, we all know how I feel about the catcher!!

So, I'm no longer a virgin.

Now that's a loaded statement, given the fact that I'm a mother of two.
(She silently smirks…)
Clearly, I haven't been a virgin for some time now.

But I've been deflowered recently -- in the respect of insect bites.
I was stung by a bee for the first time on Saturday.
And let me tell you -- it hurt!!
Truthfully, it's still bothering me today if you can believe it.

Right smack dab on my elbow. And I wasn't bothering him at alll! This is me we're talking about. Yes, I’m the girl that tortured insects as a young child - but that was purely out of my love of science and inherent curiousity. Since then I've gone out of my way to save bugs that cross my path -- even going so far as to save drowning yellow jackets -- because I believe that "what goes around comes around". Clearly, my efforts fell deaf on the humming of this bee's wings. Hmmph.

There I was, at the soccer field minding my own business when the bees started to take an interest in me. Could it have been my Hazelnut/Coconut flavored coffee luring them in? Was it the sweet Hanae Mori perfume that I put on 6 hours earlier driving them crazy? One will never know. But the truth of the matter is that I was innocently standing having a conversation when I felt a slight "sting" and a pulling…I said to my aunt "I think a bee just tried to sting me" and then no sooner did I finish my sentence when there was a very STRONG stinging sensation to which I promptly said out loud "Mother of God he got me! Get him off me!" (or something to that effect. I do know "mother of god" was used; I tried to curve my sailor's mouth since I was after all - at a 6 year old's soccer game!) and my aunt started saying "He won't come off!" and she I think - the details are rather blurry now -- used a jacket or something to swing him off me. One of the women I was talking to was nice enough to pull the stinger out of me - and then the watch was on to see if I was going to go into anaphalytic shock. This was, after all - my first insect sting.

All kidding aside, I'm surprised at how sore I was. I mean really, a bee sting? I thought they hurt for like an hour and then you're done with it. But I actually was up all night with it. I think maybe because it's smack on my elbow, the pain was radiating down my forearm, into my hand and up my bicep - as well as being a place on my body that is frequently used. I literally could not lay on that side because if I put pressure on that arm, it woke me up. I mean it wasn't mind bending sore, it was just uncomfortable. And right now, it's really fine - just twinges if I put too much pressure on my elbow.

And there you have it. My adventures in bugs…and the taking of my innocence with bee venom.

Today's originally scheduled post has been postponed due to...

We're going to the World Series!

I'm exhausted.  I was up until almost 2a.m. watching the post game celebrations, interviews and excitement.
And I've come to the decision that if it can be won here in Boston - which ever game seems like it could be the "one" - I'm going to try like crazy to get tickets.

I was able to score tickets to one of the games in 2004 - but wasn't able to get a sitter, so… but this time I think I'll be better prepared.

I'm going to try anyway.

Eh, it's only money………………
And seeing the Sox possibly winning the World Series?
Priceless.

With whipped cream and a cherry on top...

Sometimes work can be fun.
Sometimes like yesterday -- it's not.

The fun part of work - is the silliness that goes on.  Sometimes we really have a good time in my office.  Especially when there's something like a "Pie in the Face" contest.  It's a fundraiser that's going on, and all the money raised goes to charities.  We have the opportunity to place 25 cents on a person as a "vote" for them to get a pie in the face.  It's a ton of fun, both in the race to find the top 5 vote getters - as well as watching the people actually get the pie.

Last year, I was in the top 5, right until the last 20 seconds -- literally.  Someone threw money on someone else to save me. And this year is proving to be no different.  Actually, it's going a bit quicker and the votes are escalating earlier than before.  Somehow, I walked into work this morning and found that I've got 84 votes on me!  I laughed my ass off.  That's awesome!  I personally love this stuff, and you know what - I'm all girly girly and what not, but I'm all about having fun - and I'll take one for the team if I have to! If I get voted to have a pie in my face, you know what - it's going to suck for a minute - but then I'll laugh my ass off, and then go take a shower at the gym.  Isn't it worth it to have a great day with people we work with day in and day out -- and raise money at the same time?   I think it is.   And I have no idea who's doing it either -- which makes it even funnier.

Speaking of taking one for the team….how about those Red Sox?
Unbelievable game last night. I could not go to sleep until I saw Jonathan Papelbon's last pitch.  And then, I passed out.  I was a little concerned that he was shaking off Jason so much, and throwing so many balls - but then again, the umpire's strike zones over the last few nights have been crazy.  And I love Manny.  He's by far my favorite player, outside of Jason.  He always has been.  His laid back, having fun kind of attitude is why he is the amazing hitter he is.  He's unbelievable with a 0-2 count.  I love his quirkiness, his patience at bat, the fact that he lives in the moment when playing and just clearly loves the game.  Okay.  I'll stop gushing now.

I'm so looking forward to Shilling's pitching on Saturday.  I do think that this is going to be a great game for him.  And I think what will help him, is that it seems that the bats are coming alive again - and he just might have a little run support. 

My weekend's hoping to be nice if the weather holds out.  Yoga tonight…Dance Mom/Soccer Mom Saturday, and maybe a little Salem Haunted Happenings on Sunday.

And of course…Red Sox and Patriots inbetween it all.
Happy Friday!

An open letter to "the Misfits"....

"I'll get you my pretty.
And your little dog too....."

They just barked up the wrong tree....

Intentionally cryptic.
But boy it feels good...

Part of my competitive spirit....

So, I recently decided to try playing racquetball.
We've got a brand new gym at work - and aside from being really nice in general - it's got some really nice raquetball courts.

So I figured - eh, how difficult can it be?

Well.  Considering I don't know the rules on how to play -- clearly, it's more difficult than I thought.
But I'm enjoying it anyway.  One of my girlfriends and I don't really play by the rules so much as we just hit the ball around.  We're going to do that again today, actually - before our run. And a few people from my office were talking about getting a "game" together some time next week, though I don't know that I’m really ready to play a game.

But being of that competitive nature - I don't dare turn down the offer.
It's not as if I can't figure it out.

Speaking of trying new things….we're also signed up for the rock climbing class.  Now that should be interesting.  The wall itself isn't as tall as I thought it would be - though I'm thinking that once I'm up there, it might be more challenging than it appears.  Given my trust issues, this ought to be interesting! 

And of course there's boxing that I've signed up for.  But that's old hat.  What's exciting for me on this one though, is that there are actually other girls signed up.  AND…rumor has it that they're putting in a ring.  So I might actually have the opportunity to work the mitts and/or spar with someone other than a guy.  Which is potentially going to be a lot of fun.

Assuming they actually let us spar.  It might just be training.   And I"ll be honest, I've never sparred before in general.  I've only worked the mitts, the heavy bag -  and had some one hit me firmly, but not too hard --  if I didn't keep my hands up.  None of the girls I trained with wanted to spar with me -- and the guys I trained with, would've killed me.  So I've never actually gone toe to toe with a "peer".   I might spar, get hit and say "so not for me".   But for some reason, I just don't think that's the case.

On the flip side of it though, let's not forget...I am still very  "girly girly" -- despite my rather athletic, tomboy-ish and competitve spirit.  And I certainly am not looking to have my nose broken or my face bruised up.

But either way, it's fun learning new things and taking on new challenges.  Sports and athletics are not just physically challenging, but they're mentally challenging as well, sometimes even more so -- particularly when you're venturing into unfamilar territory. 

And this girl is always up for a challenge.

Namaste...

I am too hard on myself.
I try to compartmentalize things too much.
I never say no to a challenge.
I have a constant need to feel in control -- not so much "be" in control.  Emotional control versus situational control.

I have a hard time living up to my own expectations, let alone feeling like I'm meeting the expectations of others.
I am never quite as organized as I want to be.  "Real Simple" is my desired endstate -- yet, I don't know that I'll ever get there.

I love to entertain and cook for others.
I am always striving to better myself, both mentally and physically.
I never say no to a challenge.
I feel my best knowing that I've made some one feel better about themselves.
I know I'm a wonderful mother.  If I know nothing else about myself - I know that much.
I'm enthusiastic about life…passionate about learning, growing and striving.
I believe that every day is a new day, to have a good day.
I love to laugh.

I am a work in progress.
And I'm okay with that.

Sometimes, the best laid plans....

It was a rather crazy Saturday.

I was supposed to have dance in the morning -- a baby shower at noon -- and then a surprise birthday party at 6. I had the dance, but wasn't able to attend the baby shower due to sitter issues at the last minute; which meant I had to get the gift to the shower. That all worked out well, though I really missed out on seeing all the "aunties" -- most especially the "auntie" who is the soon-to-be "Mommy". The only upside to that, was being able to spend the whole day with my own kids -- which ended up being a really fun time considering it was spur of the moment. We went pumpkin picking with one of my son's best friends, and his Mom and sister, who's only a few months younger than my daughter. So that ended up being a nice afternoon....

However, we had a birthday party to go to - and had to be in Medford by 6. No problem, I figure -- put the kids in the tub at 3:30, give them a half hour to play - get them ready and have myself in the shower by 4:30 to be out the door for 5:30. Well, it wasn't until I had the kids in the tub that I realized the water wasn't getting any warmer. It was ice cold! So, I go to check the pilot on the hot water heater - and sure enough it's out. So, I try relighting it....and it won't light. So I call my plumber in a panic and say "get someone out here now please". It's a new hot water heater! This shouldn't be happening - and I'm not an idiot. I know how to start the heater. So, I call my girlfriend Nancy in a panic -- and ask if i can shower there. The kids, well - they pretended it was a pool, so we kept the bath going. But not only was I not going to take a cold shower - I couldnt' even just wash up. I ran that afternoon, and had sort of planned around my afternoon shower, once I realized I wasn't going to the baby shower. So my plumber gets there - and guess what. He can't light it either. Now, I feel a mix of vindication -- and irritation. It's 4:45, and I can't get into the shower at my girlfriends house until I know what's going on at my own, right?

Finally - he gets it lit. At 5:10. It's a coupling or something like that which was broken and he replaced it. I get the kids in the SUV -- and we're off. I hurredly impose on my girlfriend (who didn't mention she needed to be out the door herself by 6!!) and take over her guest bathroom while she keeps my kiddies happily occupied. I'm in the shower by 5:25 - and we're out her door at 5:55. While we don't make Medford for 6 - we do make it for 6:20 - and the guest of honor didn't arrive until 6:30 -- which means alls well that ends well. And that I clearly owe my girlfriend. HUGE.

But it's amazing how the best laid plans will often all go astray all day it seems.
And clearly, my bad karma for the day made it's way over to Fenway.
Sorry guys....

And for a little Patriots Round up for Monday.... probably the best challenge thus far this season, and if Dallas was more disiciplined - it might've been ever harder. Bring on Indy is what I say!
Bring. It. On.

Thoughts to end the week...

1. Cowboys and Indians. How much fun is that, fellow New Englanders?
It doesn't get much better than this for us this weekend... Tonight's
matchup between Josh Beckett and C C Sebathia is going to be out of
control. Can not wait to watch! Though I will not be out and about
watching...kiddies will be asleep - and this girl will be snuggled up in
front of the fire place with a good glass of wine, and my phone close by
for phone calls! Sunday's football game is at a great time! Get to go
out with the kiddies -and have a full day, while still making it home
for the stomping - I mean game.

2. Ommmmm. I'm leaving work early today to buy gifts for all the
parties I have going on this weekend, inbetween all of the sporting
events - natch. And maybe I can squeeze in a nail appointment...or an
Ann Taylor visit. Definitely - a hot yoga session. Have I mentioned
how much I love love love yoga?

3. Alex is a jerk. Last night's Grey's got me so flipping irritated at
Alex. What a jerk! He SO didn't have to say what he did (being vague
so as not to spoil anyone who hasn't seen it yet.) I can tell you this
much though -- he and I are no longer friends. Hmmph.

4. God Bless the Children. What is going on with today's kids? That
school shooting in Cleveland is just horrible. And now to hear that the
mother and father (who was on house arrest, might I add) bought this kid
the guns? These are the kinds of people who should not be allowed to
have children. That poor kid didn't stand a chance in life. Why do
people have children? If you don't want them -- give them up. Give
these kids a chance at being normal happy children, instead of horribly
broken and dysfunctional as a result of their horrible upbringing. LOVE
your children people. WTF?!

5. Al Gore & the Nobel Prize. You know, I'm just not sure about this
one. The Peace Prize? Seriously? He's the only strong candidate going
for this?? Hmmm.

And on that note - this girl is off to shop, shop, shop!
Go Sox.... Go Pats!

I have a headache THIS big...

....and Excedrin just isn't going to "cut it".
Trust me, I know. I took some this morning and ended up with the caffeine shakes so bad I couldnt' even finish my cup of coffee. Which is so bizarre, that's never happened to me before.

So today, I ended up in an "Off site" with my division. Normally, I wouldn't be involved in this because I provide a service to the office that's different than my co-workers, but my Div. Chief told me yesterday that she'd like me there for some additional insight. 9-4:30, locked in a room all day. With the same people.

Oh. My. God.

Amazing what a cluster the government is for funding. Or rather, I should clarify. The cluster my office is with regards to funding. And processes. And staffing. Oh, and did I mention funding? And staffing?

Funny thing is, those who didn't already know me very well -- learned pretty quickly that not only am I really good at organizing and cutting to the bottom line very quickly -- I'm a control freak as well. Wondering how that's going over right about now....

I am so flipping glad that tomorrow is Friday.
You have no idea...

The human brain is just fascinating...

When I was younger, one of my first career aspirations - and one that I would go into if I could do it all over again -- was criminal psychology. I remember being 14, 15 years old and thinking that I wanted to interview serial killers. I've sort of always been fascinated with the criminal mind, and the inner workings of what makes a person with a severe criminal dysfunction tick. What are they thinking at that very moment, when there's the defining line between committing a crime -- or turning back. Actually, I've always been drawn towards the processes of the mind in general; as a child I was always reading books and doing my term papers for school on topics such as Parapsychology, Schizophrenia, ESP, Multiple Personality Disorder, etc.

This morning on my way to work, I heard a story about a serial killer from Russia who was recently captured and now going before a jury in his trial. The "Chess Board" Murderer - as he was aptly named because he had hoped to place a coin on each square of a checkerboard to indicate each murder he'd ever committed -- described what murder felt like for him. I've read all sorts of different emotions and causes for why people have killed, ranging from control - to the lack therof - to rage, to sexual erotica -- to emptiness. But he describes it in a way that is so simple - so pure and matter of fact - that it's wildly fascinating: It's like falling in love. He said he killed in order to live; because when he would kill - he would want to live.

They say that eating chocolate releases endorphins that are similar to feeling like when you are falling in love - or have an infatuation. Imagine eating a piece of chocolate, and having that feeling magnified millions of times.
We'd be eating chocolate non stop!!

This is what fascinates me so much. His brain, is clearly wired all wrong. To release endorphins to such a level when doing something that is so utterly reprehensible -- means something is so very broken. There's a big difference between the street thug who's killing people for drug money or gang related instances -- and the person who is broken. And what makes it even more bizarre - is that, does he "get" that he's broken? Clearly, he's criminally sane because he chose to hide his tracks. But does he care? Is he capable of caring about the horror of his acts? Or his is brain wired wrong in that capacity as well, for feeling remorse? Clearly, there's no compassion or guilt - at least not in the moment. But is there in the afterwards? And if so, is it real? Or is it superficial, simulated based upon society and the outward appearances of needing to appear "normal". More than likely so.

I am all for the death penalty - and wish they'd bring it to Massachusetts. But there are some people that I think we should keep alive for research purposes. Not in a prison -- but in a medical facility. Find out how their brain works. See what kind of stimulus triggers chemical reactions and emotions in a person such as this.

The mind is an amazingly complex thing. When you think of when a child is born, and all of the things that could go wrong - we normally tend to think very broadly; healthy organs, ten fingers and toes, and hopefully no debilitating diseases. We don't tend to think and hope for "strong and healthy mind". Because who's thinking about that when it comes to a newborn?

I bet Alexander Picushkin's mother's wasn't thinking of that either when her baby was born in 1974.
That poor, poor woman.

So much to say!

What a weekend! Where to begin...?

Sunday, we went to the Topsfield Fair. Can I just tell you, the food is
out of control. Insane. You can have whatever you want - no matter how
traditional or obscure - they've got it there. It smelled so flipping
good, I didn't know where to start first. I could've eaten myself into
oblivion, yet somehow managed to maintain control. I don't know how I
passed up on some of my all time favorites such as chili and pumpkin pie
-- and yet, I did. What I did have, which I'm sort of not loving - but
had to try, was a funnel cake. All I've ever heard is, "you've got to
try one, they're awesome". They're...eh. At best. I did like that
they are lighter than fried dough, but I like traditional fried dough
better. I mean, if you're going to eat fried (which I never do!) it
might as well be really fried, right?
We had DVR'd the Pats game -- and so when we got home, it was crazy
catchup via DVR to get to the live Pats game portion - and flipping to
the Sox game during the interim. I think by 5 we were completely caught
up with both games. It was so exciting watching the games, though I
hate when they're on at conflicting times. I like when they follow each
other. It was like, all that hype - and then they were both over. But
with good results, which was great. I don't care what anyone says...if
the Sox don't extend an extension to Curt Shilling and keep Mike Lowell
-- it will be two of the biggest mistakes they'll have made recently.
Outside a few others which come to mind, but I won't repeat aloud.
Yesterday, we went to the Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey Circus. Love,
love, love the circus. I've been going every year for the last 6 years,
and each year they do something different. It's amazing. And the
talent is just crazy! The acrobats -- unbelievable. They even inspired
me to try some crazy handstand inversions at yoga last night! Sounds
corny, but I thought, "eh, how hard can it be?". Um, yeah - it's hard.
But still, I accomplished it - and I might not have even attempted it
had I not seen the circus that day. One thing I have to say, is that
all of the animals are gorgeous. Magnificent, really. And they just
seem happy to be there. You can tell the difference between an animal
who's got to be coaxed to do something, and one that just seems happy to
perform. No one lays a hand on them during the performance, outside of
affection (lots of patting and snuggling, esp. with the tigers! And the
cats themselves were having a big love fest down there. One of them
just kept grooming all the cats near him!) Speaking of cats, they had a
really cute act -- all domestic cats doing all sorts of tricks. And
they say that cats can't be trained? Hmmph. (flipping my hair.) I
can't encourage you enough -- if you haven't been to the circus before,
or it's been a long time -- trust me. It is really well worth it.
Side notes: The Yankees....O.M.G. First off, I'm glad they're out -
I'd prefer our chances against the Indians. But it's going to be so
very interesting to see the dissection of the team now, since clearly
Steinbrenner plans on cleaning house. The rumors are flying, and the
latest I heard was that Tony LaRussa is being named as "heir apparent"
to the Yankees coaching staff. Only time will tell.... And Dallas?
Bring it on baby. Bring. It. On. I don't know how the Bill's lost that
game.
Tom Brady v. Tony Romo?
Hmm. I'm thinking there's really no contest there....
So now it's back to the grind today.
But with a hair appointment at lunch time.
Which always makes a girl feel good!

From fashion to final score....

What Your Brown Outfit Means

You're not too classic, not too funky - just up on the latest trends. You know what looks good on you, and you love to shop! You project a smart sense of style, which makes people see you as competent. Designer match: Rebecca Beeson Signature accessory: A slim leather belt

How Your Favorite Outfit Tells What Kind of Girl You Are

So, after having this fun little blogthing, I decided to check out Ms. Rebecca Beeson's line. After all, with the name Rebecca, she's got to be amazing, right?

So, I love her site. Simple, classic. Streamlined. Nice.

Fashion style....eh. I guess some of her Spring 2007 blouses are something I'd buy. But truthfully, I'm just not a high fashion kinda gal. I sort of see myself as being more simple mainstream. Ann Taylor, Anne Klein, Donna Karan.
Never mind any of the random name product lines that I find at TJ Maxx.

Then of course there's the traditional sweats, yoga gear and baseball hats that I wear on any given day out of the office.

Which leads me to....last night's game. Manny being Manny, hitting the walkoff homerun last night. Unbelievable. (Like the segue?) I watched the Yankees game to the end, and could not believe Rivera was blowing yet another save. The bugs were pretty disgusting. But, how the Yankees let that one slip away is just beyond me.
Getting back to the Sox - I have to say, and I've said this before -- I'm not loving Dice K this season. I just hope he has an amazing come back year next season, because I'm really nervous about his pitching these next few series, should we get to play.

Tomorrow, I'm hoping to watch game 3 seal the deal for the next round. But then again -- aren't we all?

I'm really quite tired today....

Yawn.
(Seriously, I just did.)

I'm really tired today. Not sure why -- but I feel like the life is sucked out of me today. I'd blame it on the full moon - except, there isn't one. Maybe it's an emotional tired. Well, today's horoscope predicts: "Don't under-estimate your own abilities today. You may be feeling like others are a little more in control of your destiny right now. Just remember that you're probably quite capable of working hard and devoting yourself to achieving some larger and more important goals at this time." I guess that's code for "if it's meant to be, it will be" regarding my news from yesterday.

Nothing special planned for this weekend really. Tonight, my TGIF yoga - and then a quiet dinner watching the Sox game. Can't wait. The kids will be long gone to bed by the time of the first pitch. Not that I don't love seeing the kids, because I do -- but it will be great to watch the beginning of the game without hearing "But I want to watch Angelina Ballerina…" Anyway, I had initially hoped to hit Fenway and maybe grab Standing Room Only tickets - but was unable to snag people together. That's okay - I'm pretty tired, as I already pointed out -- and will enjoy watching it from the comfort of my pajamas and fuzzy blanket.

Go Red Sox!
Go Cleveland!

(Listen, I know a Boston/NY series would be AMAZING business for my store, but honestly - I don't think I want to go through the emotional turmoil of another series with them! What, is that a bad thing?!? GO CLEVELAND!!!!!!!!)

So, I guess I got my answer....

Today has been interesting.

Aftermath of last night's Red Sox game - and the BEAUTIFUL pitch Beckett threw to end it all -- was lingering on everyone's conversations this morning, naturally. What a game. And, I really liked the early start
time! Only a half hour earlier than usual, but the game was done by what, 9pm? Plus, the unbelievable pitching didn't hurt any to speed up the game. I sort of liked that!

This morning, the body of Corporal Ciara Durkin came through Hanscom this morning, en route to her funeral. We all went outside to pay our respects -- which is a sombering way to start the day. It's always emotional for me, to see the families look at all of us watching them -- from within their limousine.


Moving on to the mid morning, I had a nice morning work wise. Not a heavy workload, a little customer support, nothing too mindbending which is always a good thing. And, I got to see some of my friends who work
in the other office that I don't get to see hardly ever because I don't stop by usually. But - then again, neither do they - stop by my area either...! But I digress....it was nice to have a change of scenery and sit in someone else's cube for a little while.

Which brings me to the worst part of my day thus far. Right before I was going to go to lunch w. my girl friends from work to celebrate a birthday -- I got an email. With clarification. And resolution. And finalization.

My venture is a dead deal. I'm so disappointed, you can't possibly imagine. THIS close.... And it all fell apart.
Truthfully, that's what happens when one isn't honest about their financials -- I mean, you can't expect a person to risk a chance on something that isn't stable. Just be honest. If you're on a decline, just state it. Don't make it come out at the last second before the deal is finalized.

I know that means that it "wasn't meant to be". And that it's better to find out now rather than later. Other opportunities will come - and I know when the right one does it will be for the right reason. I know
all the cliches and sayings and I get the whole optomistic outlook. I LIVE the optomistic outlook.

But, none of that makes me feel any better at the moment. And for once, I'm going to wallow for just a moment in some sadness of almost having the opportunity that I wanted -- happen.

I'm all about the scents...

So, I've mentioned this before -- I'm very serious about my showers.
They're my only true sense of alone time, outside of my commute to work.
I long them long, hot and steamy.
They are by far, the longest part of my getting ready each day.
Total indulgence.

Soaps and shower gels are not only about cleanliness, but they're about
moisturizing - and for me ...a happy smell.
There's nothing like a yummy flavored smelling soap that makes me feel
absolutely amazing.
And I like to mix it up. I don't use the same soap brand, bar after
bar. That, would get boring. I change brands each time I open a new
bar.
Or change scents, at a minimum.

Right now, I'm using this Strawberry Guava Exfoliating bar; who makes it
escaping me at the moment, but it's this super thick bar of soap with
oatmeal in it for awesome exfoliation and it just smells delicious. I
also really like using Paul Mitchell Tree Tea Special Shampoo as a
shower gel.
Try it -- you'll totally understand why.

One of my girlfriends has gotten me obsessed with goat milk soap. It's
from this little company in NH, and they're called Stormy Moon Farm (
http://www.stormymoonfarm.com/). Their website does no justice because
it doesn't list all the flavors (also known as scents) - but trust me
when I tell you - amazing. And, they leave your skin so soft. She
picked up 4 bars for me over the weekend in the following delicious
"flavors": Very Vanilla, Vanilla Almond, Vanilla Lavendar, and Vanilla
Sugar. Plus, they're packaging is very fun...the soaps are wrapped in
pretty little fabric quarters.

Not only does a girl need to be clean - she needs to smell good too!
And that really is just a little thing to make me happy.
It truly doesn't take much.

Thoughts for Tuesday...

1. Britney Spears losing her kids. Here's what I don't get. There are thousands of children who are being abused on a regular basis -- and I mean god awful abuse -- not just "hanging out with mom at inappropriate hours"; and those Mothers never seem to lose their children. Why is that? It takes years of abuse claims and investigations - and more often than not, it's a child's death or horrible torture that will bring a case to light. But Britney - well, she's clearly a risk to her children's health and well being. Her poor eating habits, bad sense of fashion - and abuse of alcohol clearly means that she is unfit to be a mother. Now, I'm not saying that I think she's fit to have custody of her children, because I don't. At least not in this stage of the game. And as devastated as she might be appearing, I'm sure deep down inside there is a sigh of relief going on for her. Clearly motherhood cuts into "fun time". I mean, it's not as if she can't afford nannies and other people to raise her children for her while she's partying it up and being irresponsible. And what's really sad about it all, outside of the fact that her children will forever see the beginnings of their life and the horror show their mother has become chronicled for everyone to see on every possible medium available -- is that there are single moms in this world every where who are "doing it right". Raising their children, putting themselves first and sacrificing what they need to, in an effort to keep their children as happy, healthy and positive as they possibly can. Not only is Britney Spears a disappointment within the music industry, she's dissapointing as a woman who made a conscious decision to bring two children into the world. And she's old enough to know better. And if she isn't smart enough, well she sure has enough money to buy people to be around her, who are.

2. There's too much good television now! I finally caught the last half of "Dexter" during the half time of the Pats game. Good stuff. But I can't keep up with all the stuff that's on right now! I've got 2 episodes now of "Heroes" that I need to catch up on. I did really enjoy the season premiere of "Grey's Anatomy", and can I just tell you -- as much as I love McDreamy, I love love love George. Something about that little puppy dog look he's got just warms my heart. What I didn’t love was "Private Practice". Addison used to be this strong, smart, sassy cookie - and now she's more like Rachel from Friends. Ugh, too cutesy. I'll try to give it another week or so, but I might have to cut it off at the knees. Never mind that it's Soxtober - and Pat's season! A busy girl like myself doesn't have all the time in the world to watch televison, so "Private Practice" better step it up - or it's not going to make the cut!

3. Is "no news" really good news? I'm a little frustrated that I haven't heard either "yes" or "no" regarding my potential venture. One would think that a "no" would come far quicker, so that the delayed reaction might be percieved as positive - meaning one might be chewing on a decision. But I'm chomping at the bit myself to get resolution. I hate the waiting game. Hate it.

4. I'm starving today. It's like all I can think about is food. Could be the communal work area that I'm in, where food smells great one minute - crappy the next. One person's rigatoni and sausage leftovers smell amazing….mix it with another's left over fish (that was clearly frozen given the distinct odor) and voila - instant nose burn. Ugh. But seriously, I'm starving. I have to leave early today to pick up a cake and gift for a co-worker's birthday tomorrow, otherwise -- I'd be tempted to go to the sushi restaurant up the street. But no time today. So... I'm toying with making poached salmon w. a horseradish cream sauce for dinner, with baked sweet potato slices - and a salad.

I'm sorry -- did I mention I'm hungry….?

Happy Monday...

Surprisingly, today is really a happy Monday.
It's gorgeous out...the day is flying by thus far -- and I had a great
weekend.

Yesterday, I ran a 5k - only my second one thus far, but I did pretty
decent considering. I ran alone again, which is kind of tough to do
when you're hitting a patch of hill - or have a side stitch; it's nice
to have someone keeping you motivated. But I finished in 30:14 seconds,
which comes out to 9:58 a mile -- basically a 10 minute mile. I felt
great to have accomplished it - and beat my time from the last one I
ran. I could've had a better time, but I had a few side stitches - and
it wasn't entirely flat, so the uphill part was slowing me down. It's
funny, at the second mile marker I'm thinking "why did I do this?" and
then by mile 3, I feel great.

Afterwards, we went apple picking at someplace different this year.
Normally I take the kids to Applecrest in NH (www.applecrest.com) - and
I'll go up there maybe next weekend for just the fesitval, or fall some
pumpkin picking; but for this time - we went to Nashoba Valley Winery
(www.nashobawinery.com) in beautiful Bolton MA. It was nice -- they had
a barbecue and some entertainment for the kids; and the place itself is
just beautiful. What's so great about it too, is that drinking is
allowed on the premises, so you can have beer or wine while you're
hanging out. I didn't have any - but the option is there which is
great. I definitely would like to go back and try some of their
inventory.

Anyway - on an apple note, I was thrilled because instead of
the regular old Cortland and Macintosh apples - we got Gala apples!
They're my absolutely favorite - they're bright pink and yellow - and
they're unbelievably sweet. Not every place has them...and we filled
our bag with almost 80% Gala, and about 20% Macintosh. YUM! And then
of course, we finished with "dinner" at Colonial Candies (formerly
Herberts: http://www.judysbook.com/members/7946/posts/2005/7/18355/),
where we made our own sundaes.
(Am I the coolest Mom ever or what?)

I was so tired last night I couldn't even finish watching the premiere
of "Dexter". Thank god for DVR.

So anyway, tonight is supposed to be a crisp autumn night with
temperatures dipping down into the 40s, so I'm thinking this is going to
be a good night to light up the fireplace. A little beef stew and
biscuits for dinner - and then some Monday Night Football.

Not such a terrible way to start the week, wouldn't you agree?