Saturday, March 31, 2007

It's finally Spring...

No more more grime. Just crisp, cool air - similar to how it feels when Autumn first arrives. Being outdoors, in the fresh air just makes you feel alive.

Since the snow put a damper on our plans a few weeks back - today, my Aunt and I took the kids to Fuddruckers (Best Damn Burgers in the World!) where I ate like there was no tomorrow. Nothing better than a burger with jalapenos, bbq sauce, monterey jack cheese, tomatoes and pico de gallo. Yum! Their burgers are so good, you can eat them plain - but why not spice it up a bit! Then we walked around Jordan's a bit, visited the Jelly Belly Jellybean store (my own personal heaven, need to go back without kids!) and then......the playground.

Nothing better than fresh air - and the sound of my kids laughing to make a girl feel happy.
Well, maybe there are a few other things....but this worked for me today!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Raising a daughter...

I'm home for the first half of the day today, and going into the office after 12:00 - so I'm spending this morning being Domestic Supergoddess, which I don't get to do often during the week. I came to a realization earlier this morning when struggling with my daughter for the millionth time this week over something basic - like getting out of the bathtub.

Being a Mom to a little girl - is far more difficult than I ever imagined it to be. My daughter is fiercely independent, strong willed, and has no fear. She's impulsive; even at her young age she often acts before she thinks about the outcome. Maybe that's normal for toddlers, but I'm relatively spoiled because my son, is the polar opposite; he's a thinker. He's always, even as a toddler - thought about every move he's ever made and what the consequences would be. My daughter, doesn't care about consequences. She laughs in the face of consequences. This, is quite a challenge for me.

I know that she's testing her boundaries -- and that this is the "terrible two's". I'm just hoping that they end at some point! She can be as good as gold....and then absolutely fresh and almost mean.

I'm trying to embrace her independence and "spunk" - she's going to need it in the world she's going to become a part of; at the same time, I need to try and help her channel that energy in the right direction at the right times. I know we have a long time in life to go before I have to worry about that really; but at moments like I had with her today, it's hard to not think about these things! I'm always hoping that I can be the best role model for her in trying to balancing not only all the things she wants to achieve -- but her emotions as well.

I guess just having another "Type A" and headstrong girl in the house is just something that Mom isn't used to!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

About, who else...? Me!

You are a Romantic Realist

Okay, so you fall in the middle.
You know that love isn't like a greeting card...
Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings.

You are the best of both worlds
Girly yet independent, dreamy yet serious.
Almost any guy can find balance with you.

Your Personality Cluster is Introverted Thinking

You are:

Objective, honest, and credible
Intellectually curious, with many diverse interests
More inclined toward ideas than people
Fiercely independent and unapologetically unconventional

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Another day in the life of!

This morning I saw a car accident on my way to work.

I wasn’t able to actually see the accident take place– it was about 10 cars up from me, but I did see the residual effects of it all as the cars ahead of me were maneuvering out of the lane as it happened. As I drove by, I saw a woman get out of her car, crying – and just sit on the guard rail looking awfully defeated, sobbing. It looked like she was saying “oh my God”. It was clear that she rear ended the car that was ahead of her – and her car sustained the most damage. But no matter what, you don’t sit on the guardrail of 128! I was afraid she’d get hit, so I dialed 911 and asked the police to send a car/ambulance over. Who knows if someone’s hurt, you know?

Talk about a lousy way to start your day. I felt awful for her.

I don’t recall exactly where I’d heard this, but I remember hearing that Route 128 is the highway in MA that has the most amount of car accidents per year. I’ve been driving this road daily, for almost 15 years now – with only one accident, and it was an exceptionally minor one at that – fortunately. (I hope I’m not jinxing myself now!).

In other news.....Spike the kitten went in for his neutering surgery this morning. And what used to be an over night visit is now “day surgery”. I’ll be picking him up this afternoon.

And my son is taking his first Yoga class today. He starts soccer the first week in April, so I thought it might be a good idea to get him into something structured before he starts that. Plus, the stretching will be really good for him. He’s pretty excited about it, and I can’t wait to go and take a picture of him in class. My little handsome boy is getting so big.

Oh – and my retail therapy at Ann Taylor Loft turned out rather well! I got a fun little dress which I’m wearing today.....and I scored a few cute items as well.

I’ll be needing some more retail therapy soon I’m sure.....I found out I’m moving offices on Tuesday. And I hate where I’m moving to.
Tuesday just might have to be a Sephora kind of day!

Monday, March 26, 2007

Monday's Love Affair...

I'm really tired today. I don't know if it's the rollercoaster weather we're having or what - but I just can't get it together today. My eyes are puffy - and I'm just so draggy. And yet I didn't do anything this weekend that was exceptionally draining. It was a relatively calm and low key - dare I say relaxing - weekend.

I thought I'd share my latest "loves" and "must haves".

1. MetroMint Peppermint Water: I have been drinking this for a while now and lately it seems like I can’t get enough of it. I don’t care much for flavored waters that have all that sugary crap in it. Strawberry water and the like to me is just gross, for lack of a better word. And I don’t care for sparkling water either – I don’t drink carbonated anything, even spring water. This has no added sugar – it’s “plain Jane” spring water that is infused with mint. They don’t say how they do it, but my guess is they store the water in steel vats or something like that, with pounds of mint leaves to infuse the water naturally. They also have a lemon mint and an orange mint – which I’ve yet to try, but I did buy them this weekend. Perfect for anytime you’re thirsty – amazing on a painfully hot day; and great on your stomach – because peppermint naturally soothes the digestive track. It’s addictive....

Valrhona Dark Chocolate: I’m not a big chocolate person normally, but this is really good. Almost amazing. To me – the 72% chocolate (which is what I’ve been nibbling on) almost has got a hint of cherry flavoring. But I don’t think it actually’s just really smooth. This is nothing like Hershey’s Dark Special which I can’t tolerate. This is good stuff.... and, it’s good for you!

Grey’s Anatomy: Okay, so I’m a bit behind the times and playing catch-up. I bought Season One and I’m devouring it in an effort to get up to speed so I can watch the current season on DVR. I wanted to watch it from when it first came out, but there’s so much good TV and it conflicted with my pre-existing schedule. So I never got to watch it. But it seems like everyone I work with watches it and I got sucked into buying the DVDs. And now....I’m hooked. Oh – and while I’ve always liked Patrick Dempsey, even when he was what was most would say was goofy (which was really what I loved about him!) – his character on this show just really makes him so appealing. He always had such great sincerity in his expressions, and I love, love, love that in a man. McDreamy...McSteamy....McYummy! (What, is that wrong??)

Fresh City: It’s smoothie season! And without having a good juice bar nearby – this will absolutely do. I think the Lite Island Dream is calling my name. It’s where I’m heading today for my lunch – and of course a little retail therapy at Ann Taylor Loft. Not a big Loft fan, I prefer the traditional “AT” – but I can’t resist going in for just a peek.

Vinyasa/Bikram: Nothing new here, right? But at risk of sounding like a nut, I think I want to go on a Yoga weekend at Kripalu. I know, crazy right? I can’t get time to go to NYC, I’m going to be able to find time to take yoga and relax all weekend? HA. But, something to think about anyway. I ordered their catalog.

There are a variety of other things that I’m loving at the moment – but these are the first five that come to mind today. Ask me tomorrow and I might say something different!

Friday, March 23, 2007


It’s been quite a week, I have to say.
I’m glad it’s over – I’m really looking forward to enjoying this weekend.
Starting with a much needed yoga class after work today. Forget Calgon....Savasana take me away!

Tonight, I’m hanging with the girls tonight for our “Spring Fling” potluck. Pictures to follow, of course. I’m bringing “The Salad”, which I haven’t picked up the ingredients for yet. I usually try to make something “bigger” but I just didn’t have the time to really cook. I had hoped to get out at lunch and run to Whole Foods or something but I just didn’t have time – it was a crazy busy day today. I also had wanted to get a fun little Spring colored or flowered T shirt or something to wear for tonight. It seems like everything I own is brown, black, white or cream. I seriously need some bright color to pick me up, you know? The salad stuff I’m sure I can pick up after yoga – the T shirt – not quite so easily done. I won’t be near anyplace for me to stop, unless of course I buy a shirt from where I take yoga. Which is of course, entirely plausible.

Oh! I did get a nice compliment today! One of the Amy's who I haven't seen in a while, caught a glimpse of me yesterday as I was running around the office -- and made it a point to tell me today that she thinks my arms look "jacked". Which made my whole day! That's the look I'm sort of going for, so it really made me feel good to hear her tell me that... It makes me enjoy working out that much more, you know?

I never know whether to dress for the weather, or the office. Yesterday, I wore shortsleeves because it’s been so stifling hot in the office; and yet yesterday – it was cold. Today, I was smarter and chose to wear a sweatshirt. (Yes, I self designate casual days for myself!)’s stifling in here. So I'm sweating my butt off. And I could really use another cup of coffee. So I’m overheated and undercaffeinated (to quote myself from an email earlier to one of my friends). Quite a combination to say the least.

At risk of sounding "whiny".....did I mention how glad I am that today is Friday?

Thursday, March 22, 2007

My latest guilty pleasure...

Finding the “Next Pussycat Doll”. After watching yet another disappointing American Idol results show, it is so much fun to change the channel and watch a few girls (some of who are quite talented!) try to be the next piece of nameless fluff in the Pussycat Doll group.

Let me back up. While I love American Idol, I’m really pissed off about the results being so skewed. I get the whole “Howard Stern trying to prove that he’s the ‘King of Entertainment’”, and don’t get me wrong – I like Howard. But I don’t like him screwing with my television show. Sanjaya, while a cute kid – can hold a tune at best. He can’t sing. And while I can see the appeal in the 13-15 age group for him, I think it’s wrong to intentionally have people vote for the worst candidate strictly to drive a point home. Don’t they realize that they’re not proving any points – they’re only messing up what might be the only opportunity for some one like Stephanie, who’s really quite talented?

Moving forward. The judges for the Pussy Cat Doll show, irk me. Lil’ Kim – she doesn’t need to name drop all the time, and she’s so not Pussycat Doll material – I’m not sure why they chose her to judge, but what can you do. The founder of the show, Robin Antin – seems nice enough, but seems almost enamored with everyone. She reminds me of a nicer Janice Dickenson. The only judge that to me has credibility is Ron Fair from the record company that signed the Dolls.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

If there was ever a song I wish I could say I wrote...

Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, I've looked at cloud that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way.
I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; I've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show.... you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.
I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall.
I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "I love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads,

...they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.
I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall.

I really don't know life at all.

Ms. Joni Mitchell

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

More than what I bargained for....

I’ve been doing really well with my goal of reading 1 book per month. I’m actually ahead of the curve, and I’m almost to the midway point of my second book for this month. It seems that I’m doing better at managing my time to make sure I take the time to read – especially if I’m enjoying what it is I’m reading. What helps too is that the kids are at a good age, so when they’re eating dinner – I don’t allow the television on at dinner time anyway – so that affords me the time to either read the Herald and catch up on major headlines, or read my book.

So this weekend, I bought “My Sister’s Keeper” by Jodi Picoult. (See the hyperlink on my sidebar for Amazon info on the book!) Jodi Picoult writes about current issues and topics that seem to be engrossed in our teenage/early adult society, though in my opinion – definitively not teenage reading per se. For some reason, I thought it was about teen suicide. And I’d been toying with buying the book for some time now, just because I wasn’t sure that I wanted to delve into that area at the moment. So on Sunday when I bought it, I didn’t even bother to read the back cover – I just grabbed the book and happily paid for my purchase.

Imagine my surprise when I realized it was about something entirely different. I won’t say what it is, incase anyone here wants to read it and would like to investigate for themselves. But I can tell you this, I’m at about page 110 – and it was physically uncomfortable for me to read portions of this book. It made me sick inside. Not because she wrote graphically, or even spent lots of time talking about particulars. But because I’m a Mom – and the crux of this book, and what happened to have “My Sister’s Keeper” be born – is every parent’s worst fear. And I could imagine myself in the place of the Mom. I had to actually put the book down a couple of times, and tell myself “you really want to find out what happens next”.

It’s funny how soft my stomach has become with regards to children. I’ve always been sensitive regarding abuse and mistreatments, or illnesses. But once you have children of your own – wow.
It really hits home for you.

Monday, March 19, 2007

'Twas the luck o' the Snow Goddess...I mean the Irish!

It always seems that the best laid plans go astray, doesn’t it?

The surprise birthday party that was supposed to happen on Friday – didn’t. Silly snow getting in the way of everything.
I did manage to go out to my favorite Martini Bar on Friday night. It really wasn’t all that bad out by 7pm, mostly rain so I figured why not. They’ve recently renovated and just reopened. You know, I’m not loving it as much as I did before the redesign. It’s very “Boston” now, all trendy and retro chic with white, crimson and black furniture. They have live music there now, so it’s sort of a lounge type feel. Very different from how it was before. I sort of preferred it’s trendy but warm and classic feel, with the darker woods and rustic coloring. Most importantly – the martini’s weren’t nearly as impressive as before. Smaller glasses – and no “extra”. They used to come in oversized martini glasses, with always about a ¼ more left in the shaker to top off as you drank. Not now...small glasses and nothing in the shaker – and the prices are the same. Hmmm. I suppose they had to finance this redesign somehow, right?

So, Saturday was the night the "surprise" party took place, and while maybe she wasn’t surprised – she still had a great time. Instead of doing the traditional St. Patty’s Day pub thing – we celebrated one of the girls anniversary of her 29th birthday!

Which in some ways is better because not only did I get to spend time with a bulk of my friends – I didn’t have a hangover on Sunday! You know how that green beer goes down easy, but catches up with you just as easily!

Friday, March 16, 2007

In like a lion, out like a lamb - and confused in between!

Okay. Typical New England weather: 70 degrees on Tuesday and snowing on Friday. What's the weather like? Wait a minute - and then I can tell you, because it's more than likely going to change again!

Fun weekend plans..... got a party this evening to attend, I'm sure I'll have photos for later posts! Tomorrow, the kiddies and I are taking my Aunt to Fuddruckers for the "World's best hamburgers!" and to what my kids have dubbed "the jellybean place". Jordan's Furniture has the best get up for kids, they love to just go there and walk around and pick gourmet jellybeans. And, it's pretty fun for me too.

So, snowing it is.....thoughts of Spring from earlier this week have flown out the window, and thoughts of tubing and snowmen are back in full force. At this point I don't know which I prefer actually. While the loveliness of flowers and Spring sound good...I'm not so opposed to a few more nights with the fireplace going either.

You Are a Rose

You are a total alpha female who tends to be a leader. Your friends depend on you to hold things together and make decisions.

Men are drawn to your feminine powers and strength. While you are the center of attention, you are secretly introverted and a bit shy.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

It walks, it slices, it dices!

How wrong are the ads for deodorant? “Goes on clear -- leaves no residue!” is the marketing pitch for all of the deodorant brands nowadays. Well, I’m here to tell you, they’re lying. I mean sure – if you’re wearing white, who the heck is going to see if your deodorant gets on your shirt in the morning? But I’m a dark color kind of girl. Blacks, browns, burgundies – those are staples in my wardrobe, especially in the winter time. Trust me when I tell you, every morning no matter how cautious I am – I am wiping deodorant off of my shirt. Granted, it’s better than products of years past where the residue didn’t come off – this brushes right off. But then that leaves me to wonder how effective is the product to begin with?

Myth: No residue
Truth: Wipeable residue – clear on, certainly isn’t clear coming off.

And how about mascara? When it comes to makeup, I’m a minimalist – but I have long eye lashes, so I’m a mascara addict: Dior, Givenchy, MAC, Adrien Arpel, Mary Kay, Maybelline, Fusion. I’ve tried them all, looking for my lashes to be as gorgeous as they can possibly be – or at least as they appear on the girls in the magazines for the products. I’m here to tell you, it’s not possible. You want to know the truth as to how you get your lashes to look like hot, smoky and sensational....

Myth: Mascara does it all: “weightless, long-wearing mascara formulated to lift and extend the lashes while adding sleek volume. Colour-rich. Controllable. Won’t smudge or flake. Water- and tear-proof...”
Truth: An eyelash curler does it. Without one – no mascara is magic. Unless you go the fake eyelash route, but that’s just far too high maintenance for me. But if you use an eyelash curler, then you might actually get a little something other than dark circles under your eyes with your mascara.

And these are just two examples of many. There are no “miracle cure” products, as much as we may wish there were.
Nothing really makes wrinkles disappear....except for Botox or plastic surgery.

We can prevent, delay, hide, and pretend.....we can get sucked into all of the marketing schemes that are out there.
But the truth of the matter is – there is no truth in advertising.

What a bummer.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

"She's like the wind", not really!

As I’m a purpose and goal driven personality – I’m happy to say that in the past 24 hours I have found something to work on.

I’ve been pretty bored with running lately. I don’t have the opportunity to run outdoors as there aren’t any places geared towards running where I live. Translated, that means – no sidewalks around, no tracks, parks, etc. And I get so bored on the treadmill even with my IPOD. But I really enjoy running, despite all of this.

Karla asked if I wanted to run in a road race on Mother’s Day. Which I normally would’ve jumped at the chance to do, except that I am not going to be around that morning. So that sort of got me on a mission of trying to find a race to run. And I found one – although it’s not a 5K, it’s a 5 mile race. Truthfully - I hadn’t noticed that when I signed up for it. One of my friends at work is running it with me - and she noticed that little detail. Which to her is no biggie, she runs that on a regular basis. At first, I was like "hmmm. Not sure about this". But then I figured – what’s another 2 miles, right? Besides, one of my New Year’s Resolutions was to run a 10K, and this will bring me about a 1.2 miles shy of that goal.

But now...I have a mission....I have something to focus forward on.
Running 3 miles outdoors wasn’t overly difficult. But now, to manage my cardio to go an extra 2 miles – that is what I’m working towards.

So on Marathon Monday, one of my friends from work and I are going to be running
Patriots Day Road Race.

And I'm focused, focused, focused.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Looking back and feeling good....

I’ve never been the type of person who feels that she needs validation on any decisions I’ve made in life, but...... it is rather nice when you get some.

Saturday I saw my best friend and her husband who I met “way back in the day”, through my ex. Ex-boyfriend, not husband – though we did spend upwards of 7 years together. “Common law marriage”, I used to tease.

I ended our relationship, although for some time before we actually broke up – we both were sort of ending the relationship in our own ways.

While there were things about him that drove me insane and it was clear we weren’t in love with each other any more, I really enjoyed him on many levels as a friend. We were actually really good friends which was nice; we had a lot of fun together, always making each other laugh. And when we broke up, at times I often wondered if I made the right decision. We attempted to date for a very brief time afterwards, and after spending time alone without him – and then revisiting the possibilities, I knew I made the right choice. While I really enjoyed his company at times – the core of who he once was had changed; and that was not someone I wanted to be with any longer. His principles changed, he changed his friends....he became motivated by money, which made him lie and be deceitful – as well as miserable.

He ruined almost all of his friendships that he’d had – including the one he held with his best friend: My best friend’s husband. After not speaking for many years, they now have a business relationship. They’re both tradesmen, and cross paths – job sharing from time to time.

He pulled me aside at the end of the party and said...

G: “You know, you made the best decision in your life leaving that piece of $h!t”.
Me: “Really? That’s good to know. I always say we never would’ve made it had he asked me to marry him. I’d have divorced him shortly thereafter”.
G: “He’s the most miserable, whining complaining person I’ve ever met. For someone who supposedly has “so much money and property”, he’s constantly miserable and crying poor mouth”.
Me: “Yeah, that sounds like him. I don’t know why he changed, but he did. He’s just so miserable and corrupt. That’s a good word for him. He’s corrupt.”

I certainly won’t share the comments made about my ex's wife. But she’s nothing at all like me. Which all of us who know both her and I, have already known for years.

You reap what you sow. And negative energy attracts negative energy.
That was one bunch of negative energy that I did not need or want in my life – nor do I miss it.

And as much as it’s 10 years later, and I certainly don’t need the validation; it was hard not to feel really happy as I drove home.

Monday, March 12, 2007


For some reason, I’m incredibly tired today.

And I went fell asleep around 8:00 last night, in the middle of my starting a new book. I couldn’t keep my eyes open, and to think that was really only 7:00 had we not turned the clocks forward! That’s so not like me. Granted, I did take a yoga class that really kicked my butt before dinner....but I slept through until 6:00 this morning. And even then I couldn’t get my eyes open. Funny thing is – I’m really dragging today. My eyes are wicked tired. (You know they’re tired if I’m breaking out “wicked”!) It’s almost as if I got too much sleep

Rumor has it, we’re supposed to have a burst of Spring over the next couple of days – almost reaching 60 degrees. Wow. Now here’s a day I’m thinking I should leave work a teensy bit early and go for a nice run outdoors! I’ll have to see how the day plays out – and if so, then that may be just the burst of energy I need to wake me up today!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Are you scrambled or sunnyside up?

I don't eat breakfast normally. I just am not hungry first thing in the morning. But yet I love breakfast food. Which is funny because in my house growing up, we were definitely a sit down and eat breakfast together type of family - on the weekends. I especially love having breakfast for dinner. This morning, I made the kids pumpkin pancakes and though it smelled delicious, I just wasn't hungry. But - if we were going out for breakfast - I'd have eaten up a storm. I don't know why, but something about going out for breakfast wakes my stomach up no matter whether it's 2 a.m. or 7 a.m.

It's a Breakfast Survey... Go figure! If you use it - let me know!

1. How do you like your eggs? I almost always prefer over easy; second would be scrambled.

2. Bacon or Sausage? Both. And a little corned beef hash...and maybe some ham too!

3. Waffles or Pancakes? Neither. I'd prefer French Toast over them both.

4. Fruit on your food? Unless it's something really sounding good - probably not.

5. Orange juice or Tomato juice? Tomato

6. Favorite Omelet: Tough choice. Depends on the mood. I almost always go for Sausage and Cheese or Linguica and Cheese; then probably a Mexican omelet.

7. Oatmeal or Grits: Definitely grits. With lots of maple syrup. But I really love them best with soft boiled eggs and crumbled bacon!

8. Favorite Breakfast Meal: I'm thinking Eggs Benedict over Corned Beef Hash. YUM.

9. Favorite Time to Eat Breakfast: Funny, I already talked about that. Either a Sunday morning, or any night for dinner.

10. Flavor Syrup: I'm a plain Jane. Good ol' fashioned maple.
11. Hash browns or Home Fries: While I love hashbrowns, its hard to find really good ones. So I'll take home fries, with lots of ketchup!
12. Ketchup on your eggs? No way. Maybe salsa though!

Friday, March 09, 2007

If you need somebody you can trust, trust yourself.

I have trust issues.
Not sure where they came from, or why I have them – yet there they are.

Well, that’s not exactly a true statement. I actually do know why I have them and where they came from. They didn’t stem from having a bad childhood or anything like that, actually quite the opposite. I was rather naïve to the dynamics of bad relationships (not just in the romantic sense, but in general) prior to my being in my mid-20s. As a result of this “learning” experience, I have huge issues with being open and honest about my feelings. I can clearly finger point and identify where they came from and how I became this way. This doesn’t mean that I’m dishonest when I’m expressing myself, but I don’t open up when I’m not in a good mood, I just mask it with a good mood “appearance”. And I never, ever share if something is bothering me. I don’t feel that I can trust people with my vulnerabilities and weaknesses. So I pretend that there really aren’t any. There are very few people that I feel “safe” with; I’ve had so many people use my vulnerabilities against me as tools to manipulate me – I just don’t do it anymore. It’s not a part of me that I like, because the lines between who I can’t trust with “me”, and who I can – have become blurry. And I will isolate my emotions from those who I can trust; they’ve seen the difference in me and it hurts their feelings.

This isn’t to be confused with my inherent personality of being an internalist; I’ve always dealt with things and problems on my own and in my own head, but that was by choice. Not because I couldn’t. And I’ve evolved into someone who feels that she can’t – which is entirely different. I’m not really liking that part of me.

Why am I thinking about this today? I’m not sure. Maybe it’s because I’m so excited to see my best friend tomorrow, who I haven’t seen in far too long; and the last time I saw her, she told me how she notices this change in me and it bothers her to think that I don’t trust her. When I do, implicitly.

I’m not sure how to fix this about me, but I’m working on it. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
I’m forever a work in progress.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

I'm ready to make nice....

I had an interesting conversation with a co worker of mine this morning about what I’m posting today.

I really, really like the Dixie Chicks. Okay, I love them. They’re probably one of my all time favorite country bands. They’re amazingly talented, and what I really like is that they stay true to their country style and don’t cross over so much into the “pop” country like other artists do. However.....what I don’t like about them is how they chose to be politically outspoken in previous years. This is not to say that they aren’t entitled to their political views; but it does mean that I think it’s socially irresponsible for artists who are regarded as being talented in their area of expertise – be it singing, acting, writing, etc. to view their political gripes in public arenas. Or rather, in the wrong public arenas. I think there is a responsibility to the public to be careful about what you say because there are very impressionable types out there who feel that if their favorite artist of choice is saying certain things then “they must be right”. These entertainers are role models, whether they choose to be or not – and I think that they lose sight of that.

There are a select few who are truly politically and socially active in a variety of political and human affair arenas. And for them, regardless of whether I agree or disagree with their views I have respect for them because they are actively involved and dedicate portions of their lives – and their earnings – for what they believe in.

But armchair politicians – which is what most people are, including entertainers – that have access to the ears of a good majority of the public based upon their gift of talent – should heed more caution when spouting their views. Democrat, Republican, or Independent – is irrelevant to me. There are forums available where their points of views on world and foreign affairs can be heard. And in my opinion, award shows, red carpet events and gossip magazines just are not the places to do it.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

If I had a million dollars.....

I don’t usually play the lottery. I figure my chances of not winning far outweigh the chances that I will win.

I know how the adage goes: “If you don’t play, you can’t win...”. But I just don’t believe that I have the kind of luck that will fit the odds of winning.

However....for the last three weeks, I’ve been in a pool with some co workers for the Mega Millions.

Last night’s winnings were for $370 million. Split amongst 20 of us, we would’ve had roughly $18 million before taxes.

Now that’s some serious money. Nowadays, a million dollars isn’t what it used to be. I wouldn’t turn my nose up at it, however it’s not life altering money anymore. But $18 million?! That’s life altering money.

So for the past few days I was thinking about what I would do if I was to win. I don’t normally play that kind of game; rearranging my life in my head as to how I would spend the money, and who I would share it with. I’m far too pragmatic for that type of thinking usually. But I have to admit, I was sucked into it over the past week or so. I actually got a little excited at the hope of possibly having the chance to win; thinking that maybe I could be that “1 in 172 million”.

I didn’t win, clearly. Two other people or groups were the ticket holders. Some one in Georgia (Mellissa?) and someone in New Jersey woke up this morning to a whole new world.

And once again, with a brisk reality check – I remember why I don’t play the lottery.

The way I see it......luck is something we make....chances are what we take.....and what we “win” is the path in life we walk every day. It changes from time to time, and there are always hills and obstacles to overcome, but that’s okay. Everything else is gravy, right?

Ok. A little extra money wouldn’t hurt any. I’m sure I’ll play again if there’s a big enough winnings to get my attention. I just won’t get so excited about the possibilities.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Smile - It's the second best thing you can do with your lips...

When I was younger and lived at home, my Dad would often say to me “you’re coming down with a cold”. To which I’d almost always say “no, I’m not – I’m fine”. Because at the point in which he’d say this to me, I’d be feeling okay. But sure enough, I’d be sick within a day or two of him mentioning it. So after a while of his predictions coming true, I asked him how he was able to tell that I was coming down with something – and he said “Your lips get swollen.. Almost puffy. Especially your bottom lip.” I remember laughing at him and thinking “no they don’t”. Typical teenager, thinking that her parent's don't know anything. But you know what? He was right.....

Ever since then, I can always tell when I’m fighting something because my bottom lip really does get swollen. “Angelina Jolie-type-of-puffy” – feels like it’s “in the way” kind of pouty. I usually end up biting it (one of my bad habits) because it’s annoyingly noticeable. Who needs collagen implants – clearly I just need to have a cold or something to get that look that people pay thousands of dollars for.

What’s funny is that my son is the same way. His lips get really full when he’s sick, or right before he comes down with something. My daughter’s don’t – but my son, who already has really nice lips (watch out little 5 year old girls who will someday be teenagers!) definitely has that whole pouty thing going on when he’s not feeling well.

It’s funny the different traits that get passed down from parent to child.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Feeling Blah....

Yup. So since I don't have anything of real interest to say today given I'm under the weather, I thought I'd post a few little blog"things".
Happy Monday!

You Are Impressionism

You think the world is quite beautiful, especially if you look at it in new and interesting ways.
You tend to focus on color and movement in art.
For you, seeing the big picture is much more important than recording every little detail.
You can find inspiration anywhere... especially from nature.

Your Dosha is Pitta

You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor.
You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader.
Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways.
But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical.

With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to you

In love: You are picky but passionate

To achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Clearly, the light isn't quite shining at the end of this tunnel...

So, I have a cold. Okay, no biggie. I actually sound worse than I feel which isn't so terrible.

My son on the other sick. Double whammy sick. I had him at the ER at 7a.m. this morning because not only did he still have a fever and a bit of a sore throat, he had this very Roseola looking rash on his face and neck and trunk. So off we went to find out what's wrong with him.

Fifth's Disease - which isn't a disease at all, but a virus - is what he has. Sort of like Roseola actually. And on top of it- I just got a call now from the doctor said his Strep culture just came back as "positive". He just got over Strep! Or maybe he didnt' actually "get over it". Back on the amoxicillan he goes.

This poor kid, ever since last summer he's been inundated with these childhood syndromes. Well, I suppose it could be worse.

I just can't for Spring and for this nasty, nasty cold and flu season to end.

Friday, March 02, 2007

When will cold season ever end....?

I’m feeling a little run down today. I can’t really put my finger on it, other than I feel it in my eyes. They sort of have that “warm, sleepy” feeling to them still. As if I should still be asleep or just woke up recently, rather than the 6 a.m. timeframe in which I really opened my eyes up.

My daughter is in the midst of a crazy cold, which I’m hoping will be better by tomorrow so as not to put a kink into our get together with my cousin. He’s engaged and his fiancée has a daughter who is the same age as my son, so they’re all ramped up to spend time together. It’s not as if my daughter is deathly ill, but if she’s really still all runny nosed I don’t know how fair it is for me to bring her to their house and expose them all to the cold. So I’m hoping she clears up a bit over the next 24 hours.

My son, who just recently got over his very first case of Strep throat was complaining last night that his throat bothered him again. Fortunately, my pharmacist always overfills the amoxicillin bottle in an effort to help parents who have kids that fight taking medicine, and turn their heads or spit it out everywhere. So I still had two doses or so left from his prescription that he finished taking on the 18th. I gave him a dose last night – and one today. He says he’s feeling much better, but I wonder if it’s just because he took the medicine he’s thinking he feels better. See while I’m glad the pharmacist over fills – what he doesn’t realize is that my kids love medicine. Sometimes, they’ll make up excuses to take it. Amoxicillan? Love it Robitussin – they love that I think more than any medicine.

I on the other hand, don’t like to take medicine at all unless I absolutely have to. Even when recovering from my C-section in the hospital, I told the doctors to give me the least amount of pain medication possible in my drip, and even at that – I didn’t take it. I remember the nurse coming in and saying “you have to use that!” and I was like “um, no I don’t.” Truthfully, I was uncomfortable at times -- sure... but even the lowest dose of the medicine made me foggy and I do not like feeling that way at needless to say, medicine and I don’t go “hand in hand”.

I’m hoping that this afternoon’s hot yoga will clear my system up of all the “yukkiness” I’m feeling and will give me the boost of energy I need to fight off whatever it is that I’m feeling I might be coming down with.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Brought to you today by the letter "P"...

About a year ago, I had been tagged to come up with 10 words that began with the letter “B” and to explain why I chose or liked those words. So, I thought that might be a good posting for today. I’ve got lots on my mind and no real clear path to channel it all and so this might be a nice exercise in focus for me. I’m going to use the letter “P”. How did I select this letter? I sort of closed my eyes, twirled my finger and figured whatever letter my finger landed on was going to be my choice. And there you have it.

Peace: Clearly an obvious choice. Within the world, my interpersonal relationships, peace within myself. Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work; it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.
Principles: Without having basic principles to believe in
, what do you have? They should be the very core of who you are.
Passion: Something that I think no one should be without. Whether it’s for someone you care for, a hobby – or even a career – without passion, life is dull and dark. Passion ignites us, inspires us and best of all, makes us feel alive.
Purpose: Everyone needs to have a purpose in life....we all need to feel like we have a reason to get up every morning and live each day to the fullest. Without purpose, it’s nearly impossible to achieve inner peace – or find things to be passionate about. It’s all full circle, don’t you think?
Positive: I absolutely, unequivocably believe that hope springs eternal. My glass is half full; my world is rosy through the view I choose to see. I’m not naïve, nor do I turn a blind eye to life – but I do believe that positive energy attracts positive energy. And there is nothing that anyone can ever say to change my mind. I choose to “fill the negative space with positively everything”, and I think that has been the key to my facing the various adversities I’ve faced several times in my life. That what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. And to see the sun shining in the distance through the rain makes getting through the storm that much more tolerable.
Patience: Patience is kindness and tolerance. It’s taking the time to teach. Embracing someone else’s capabilities to learn. Thinking about someone other than ourselves when we “get it” and some one else doesn’t. It’s showing a child over and over again how to button their shirt and not getting frustrated with them. Not beating ourselves up when we don’t succeed. Understanding that it isn’t “all about me” sometimes.
Peanut Butter: Does this one really need explanation?
Peony: One of my favorite flowers. There is nothing like the smell of peonys in the early summer. It’s just so sad that they bloom for such a short time...
Promises: If you make one – keep it. Promises kept may be forgotten....promises not kept are often the mark by which you are measured.
Parenting: The toughest job I’ll ever love. One that puts many of my principles to the test. There is no greater reward, no better justification. My children are my peace, my passion, my purpose. For them I will always remain positive and have endless amounts of patience.